I like to pretend I'm smarter than I really am sometimes, but only because I honestly appreciate intelligence. I revel in the strange, unusual, quirky, and/or bizarre of any given situation. I sleep with about eight pillows. During the summer months, I obsess over the Oakland A's. I'm not nearly as interesting as I'd like to think, but I'm slowly coming to terms with this. ...Just don't build me up into something I'm not.
"Do I contradict myself?
Very well then, I contradict myself.
I am large, I contain multitudes."
~Whitman
Ingredients for a Christina
2 c. gothic tendencies
3 dram moonlight
4' 11 3/4" black satin ribbon
3 c. Oakland A's
8 in. Mark Ellis #14
1 whole red rose
2 boobs
3 1/2 c. moping
8 lb. Penis
1 whole dictionary
2 c. feather pillows
3 c. irony and sarcasm
5 c. sexuality
2 dancing gay men
1 Sonic burger
4 cool pens
2 joints
1 camera phone
3 wishes
pinch of leather
red wine
secret baby sauce
1.) Take Penis and sexuality, finely chop. Roughly chop dictionary, combine with Penis and sexuality. Sautee in red wine. Set aside.
2.) Combine gothic tendancies, Oakland A's, boobs, intelligence and pens in a large bowl. Beat on low until creamy.
3.) Fold in silk ribbon, moping, irony and sarcasm, Sonic burger, 2 dancing gay men, and pillows. Carefully add moonlight, stirring slowly until thoroughly mixed. Set aside.
4.) Take Mark Ellis #14, soak in a sultry rainy night for 2 hours. Marinade in Secret Baby Sauce overnight.
5.) Add Mark Ellis #14 to Penis mixture, sautee in red wine again, bake on 250 degrees until running with juice.
6.) In cream mixture, add phone and wishes. Season with pinch of leather to taste.
7.) Remove Mark Ellis #14 from the oven, put in a plate. Ladle cream sauce over Mark Ellis #14, making sure thoroughly covered. Garnish with a red rose and 2 joints.
8.) Serve.
