Gary The King Of The Nerds - ProfilesArchive

About Me

I'm a hermit. I drink to horrid excess at times, which is all the time. I love comics but not in a cool way. I look like my mum. I can be truly horrid to women yet strangely cannot bear to see them cry. I'm amazing at Max Payne 2. I am very very lazy which explains why i prefer blowjobs to actually sex. I have lots of grey hair. Women only like me in pairs never just one. I have never had any kind of sexual activity in a pub or club bathroom and don't plan to because its dirty. I'm addicted to Wikipedia. I enjoy DVD extras as much as the main feature. My favourite computer game is Fallout 2. I've been reading lots of history books recently and watching far too much History Channel. I am a terrible goalkeeper. I've only played Dungeons & Dragons in computer game form. I hate Forrest Gump. I can make jokes about offensive subjects all day. I've ejaculated inside a lady without a condom 4 times in my life. I don't like horror films. I love the smell of new magazines. I cannot read signals from girls. I love juice. My dancing skills are entirely fuelled by drinking. I have a terrible collection of CD singles. I once tried to learn Spanish but gave up after one lesson (the fact that i am unconcerned about this chronic lack of effort speaks volumes about me). I love the word cunt. My Blur boxset i had to save for 3 weeks to buy when i was younger is missing a disk and i don't know where it is. I have loads of my old birthday cards from people i can't even remember anymore. I go for days and days without getting dressed.

My Interests

Drinking. Smoking. Wondering which will kill me first.

I'd like to meet:

Someone in the Home Office who can hand out visas like candy.

Music:

Blur, SFA, Beastie Boys,Clem Snide,The Strokes,bruce springsteen, White Stripes, Le Tigre, B & S, Pavement, Beck, 50s big band, Interpol, bands who have some pride in how they look

Movies:

Goodfella, Brazil, City of God, Raging Bull, Mean Streets, Terminator, Annie Hall, Blade Runner, Rio Bravo, Airplane, The Killing, Dog Day Afternoon,Once Were Warriors, The Third Man, The Thing, Heavenly Creatures, Bonnie and Clyde

Television:

Sopranos, The Day Today, Peepshow, 6 Feet Under, Father Ted, Brasseye, Camp Jim, The New Statesmans, The West Wing, Alan Partridge, Black Books.

Books:

1984, Lord of the Rings,The Godfather, History books

Heroes:

Horward Hughes, Clive of India and Timothy Treadwell.

My Blog

I posted this wrongly like a fool.

I no longer fear death. Well maybe not death but I definitely no longer fear long trips to family events. I have endured over this weekend horrors that would have driven many a lesser man to embr...
Posted by Gary The King Of The Nerds on Sat, 10 Nov 2007 09:09:00 PST

Long ago love

Myspace is for some reason allowing me access to all the 1,800 messages I've recived on it as well as any replies I might have made. This is without a doubt a fantastic way to see love and affection c...
Posted by Gary The King Of The Nerds on Fri, 09 Nov 2007 03:13:00 PST

My name is Gary and I'm a

It was my leaving do at work yesterday (leaving one shitty waiting job for a different shitty waiting job on slightly higher pay) and so we all had a few beers. It was fun, we went to a house, we smok...
Posted by Gary The King Of The Nerds on Sun, 29 Jul 2007 07:51:00 PST

Happy 4th of July

I'm about to head off to see a baseball game followed by Independence day fireworks. Its either that or going to see a Union Jack get burnt by midwest colonial fucknuts.
Posted by Gary The King Of The Nerds on Thu, 05 Jul 2007 04:04:00 PST

King me bitch

GOOD NEWS- I now have a job as a waiter at ASK pizza on Gloucester Road.BAD NEWS- I don't get tips till i can remember all the names, prices and content of all 100 odd things on the menu.GOOD NEWS- I ...
Posted by Gary The King Of The Nerds on Tue, 03 Oct 2006 07:42:00 PST

Name my nephew

My sister has all but decided on the name of her child when it comes and has given me the choice of choosing part of the name if it is a boy. As i'm a nice chap i thought i would offer it up to y...
Posted by Gary The King Of The Nerds on Wed, 07 Jun 2006 02:40:00 PST

I've been.........

I've been spending most of my time recently exposing my penis to the good people of west London and working as an exam monkey at school (today I helped run a Punjabi test). This has allowed me to walk...
Posted by Gary The King Of The Nerds on Thu, 25 May 2006 09:01:00 PST

Good advice

If you are carjacked then remember these important rules · If any person or vehicle in a high-risk area arouses your suspicions, treat it as hostile and take appropriate action. A fine for driving thr...
Posted by Gary The King Of The Nerds on Thu, 02 Mar 2006 03:04:00 PST

If your gonna get blown up

then you may as well stick it on here i guess. http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=viewIma ge&friendID=22290135&imageID=361967240&Mytoken=5 7297D8E-106A-DA50-EBFC116D6C0E55D...
Posted by Gary The King Of The Nerds on Wed, 08 Feb 2006 05:38:00 PST

2/2/2006

Today i've had groups of young children jumping up and down next to me to try and reach my 'giant big chef dinner lady who is a man' size, eaten pies, wrote a short fiction story AND put a Candy...
Posted by Gary The King Of The Nerds on Thu, 02 Feb 2006 02:15:00 PST