Jesse Robert Jude Patrick Hutchinson Puma was born on October 15, 1977 deep in thewoods of Northern Canada. Raised by a clan of bearded men, young Jesse was taughthow to play washboard in a jugband, carve squirrles out of wood, and mastered thegame of Hungry Hungry Hippos. At the age of six, Jesse traveled on the back of moose
all the way down to Southern New Jersey, where he was adopted by the greatest familyin the world - the Hutchinsons. Under the watchful eye of Rosanne and BobHutchinson, Jesse went on to win 6 consecutive Hungry Hungry Hippos WorldChampionships in Tokyo, Japan. Jesse then dropped out of school completely andopened up his own chain of Hungry Hungry Hippos dojos. One day in the year 2000,Jesse told Bob Hutchinson he was changing his last name to "Puma" because it wasshorter and it sounded cooler. Bob told Jesse, "So be it...from this day forth you will beknown as Jesse Puma." Jesse Puma now resides in Jersey City New Jersey, where hespends countless hours a day trying to carry himself in a basket. As soon as he perfectsthis art, he plans to go on tour.Super Powers:SARCASM - Over the years I fine tuned it on my mom, now I use it openly in the world.HUMOR - There is no greater joy in life than making someone laugh.ATTRACTING OLD MAMAS -I possess the uncanny ability to attract old chicks who claim to be in their thirties, but in actuality haven't been in their thirties since the eighties.Weaknesses:MISPLACING THINGS- If you wish something be lost simply hand it to me and in mere seconds it will vanish. I will have no clue where it will be and waste precious time retracing my steps until I rediscover it.FORGETTING PEOPLES NAMES - If you shake my hand and introduce yourself, by the time you are finished saying your name, I will have already forgotten it. I will then refer to you as "dude" or "man".MATHEMATICS - Any form of math will completely confuse me. When there are no more fingers to count or no calculators around, I am completely helpless and open to attack.
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