Carl Begai profile picture

Carl Begai

Starve a cold, drink a beer...

About Me

Carl was spawned on December 1st, 1968 in Toronto, Canada to a high school history teacher (Dad) and an elementary school teacher (Mom). The eldest of three children, Carl was voted by Fate as Most Likely To Be A Pain In His Parents' Collective Ass and has lived up to that expectation.

Attending a Catholic elementary school, Carl came to the conclusion that anyone who tries to mould a person's mind using a theological vice grip should rot in hell (although at the time those thoughts were more along the lines of "Mr. R. is a dick."). Carl graduated high school with no noteworthy commendations, other than the Dingbat Award in instrumental music class for being a smart mouth little jerk, which the teacher found refreshing for some bizarre reason. He finished his education at York University in 1993, an experience that consisted of hanging out in pubs, hanging out with some remarkable women but failing to get past the "C-c-can I buy you a d-d-d-drink?" phase because he was so shy. He attended class every third Tuesday of the month but still managed to pass all his courses. No controlled substances or sexual favours were exchanged...but there was this one hottie student teacher...

Somewhere between university and the present Carl grew up; that's what he likes to think, anyway. He has come to realize that nothing matters more than family and friends, which are in essence the same thing as far as he's concerned. He's also quite sure his girlfriend is mentally challenged because she has just as much tolerance for his antics as his parents, although she did find his sex game with the barbeque tongs and the hair gel a little disturbing.

Carl is addicted to Japanese and East Indian cuisine, green tea, Guinness and sex. He loves metal of all kinds...except for cheesy 4/4 kiddie goth rock, cooking, writing, photography, women, Third Rock From The Sun and being at home in Toronto (what he calls civilization). And ketchup flavoured potato chips. He hates racists, broccoli, Diet Coke, people who don't have the balls to trash talk to one's face, and those little bastards on the subway that test out the ringtones on their mobile phones for the benefit of everyone else around them.

Carl's dream is to own a house in Toronto big enough to accomdate his ever growing CD collection, the guitars he hasn't bought yet and his king-size ego. He has been a faithful and willing soldier in BW&BK's march towards world domination for the past 10 years; for more info on the mag go to www.bravewords.com .

My Interests

Yes.

I'd like to meet:

I've met 'em and I keep meeting more of 'em. Bring it on.

Music:

Metal. The louder, meaner and uglier the better. And the Barenaked Ladies.

Movies:


Television:


Books:


My Blog

And the Oscar for Completely Out Of His Mind Batshit In A Comedy goes to...

...Tom Cruise. If you haven't seen his Scientology Is Awesome video clip check out Gawker.com (http://gawker.com/). The folks there have been doing a great job keeping it circulating so everyone ...
Posted by Carl Begai on Mon, 21 Jan 2008 04:00:00 PST

Your Village Called; They Want Their Idiot Back...

I recently posted a blog on MySpace and Facebook airing my thoughts on illegal downloading. I did so knowing I was going to get a reaction, and that some of the feedback was going to be in direct oppo...
Posted by Carl Begai on Sat, 10 Nov 2007 01:32:00 PST

Redneck Jedi

You know you're a Redneck Jedi when... ...you hear "Luke, I am your father... and your uncle..." ...you ever said the phrase, "May the force be with y'all." ...your Jedi robe is camouflage. ...you h...
Posted by Carl Begai on Wed, 11 Jul 2007 02:45:00 PST

Youre a professional musician? Quit yer bitchin!

I recently did an "interview" with a guy I've known for a long time. His band is gearing up to release a new album, and because I'm a fan and a friend I elected to do a story for BW&BK. As much as...
Posted by Carl Begai on Mon, 09 Jul 2007 07:33:00 PST

Tales Of The Cripped: Chapter 6 - Organized Religion For The Blind

I was raised to accept people for who they are, not for the colour of their skin or what they believe in. Two of my closest friends are non-white, and every person in my life that I consider irreplace...
Posted by Carl Begai on Fri, 29 Jun 2007 02:00:00 PST

Tales Of The Cripped: Part 5 - Rock im Park = Mind boggling Suckitude

    I've been to plenty of music festivals in my time. Big ones, small ones, dirty ones, clean ones, and for the most part I've come away from those experiences happy that I went. The only o...
Posted by Carl Begai on Sun, 03 Jun 2007 06:51:00 PST

Cricket...as explained to "foreigners"...

Recently, I was at a listening session for the new EPICA, AMORPHIS and RIDE THE SKY albums. This metal threesome was an alcohol fuelled affair featuring journalists from all over Europe...and me. Towa...
Posted by Carl Begai on Wed, 30 May 2007 01:43:00 PST

Visiting Canada? Your questions answered...

I wish I could take credit for this, but this was actually sent out a while ago by a member of the beloved crew at home in Toronto, the lord of the Scewdriver Vomit Pitcher Toss, Mr. Zein Dawood. It's...
Posted by Carl Begai on Mon, 14 May 2007 09:19:00 PST

Kamelot - A Trip To The Opera

I still don't understand why The Black Halo was such huge album for Kamelot. No matter how often I listen to it I just can't get into it beyond 'The Haunting', 'Memento Mori', 'The Black Halo', and th...
Posted by Carl Begai on Sat, 12 May 2007 09:28:00 PST

Metal for kids...and no, I'm not talking about Manowar...

One thing I love about the metal biz is the ongoing discovery of new bands and artists. It's a constant education and I never get bored of it. Last year I stumbled upon a band out of Texas called ROCK...
Posted by Carl Begai on Thu, 03 May 2007 01:00:00 PST