Ever since he was young, he has never fit in, was never wanted, a mistake. All this boy wanted was to see his father when he came from work, but once his dad showed up after being gone for weeks at a time, all he found was whiskey scented breath and beatings. See, this boy has never been god enough. Every day he tried so hard in an attempt to get his fathers attention, but all he did was induce a beating upon him. Every day he was reminded by his self centered mother that he was worthless, and that he was why his father drank.
This boy grew older, and like most kids, he tried finding security in school. Yet he was an outcast. His views and attitude was shunned away by the other children, so yet again he was alone. So, alone and unwanted, he began to lose hope in life.
This child grew older still, and as he did, he changed. Finding solitude in him self. Yet still everyday he was reminded of his failures and how he was nothing but a disappointment.
We see this boy today, yet he is not a boy but a man, a shell of a man… his emotions clouded by his pain and his agony. He seeks comfort in all the wrong places, turning to anything that will take away his feeling. He begins to mutilate himself and focuses on his self inflicted pain, trying to keep his mind off the hurt inside.
Since he has never felt love from him family, his emotions make him fall for all the wrong people.
We see him now, his emotions overwhelmed by pain, sorrow, and suffering. Disgusted by himself, he has no confidence in himself. This man is not a man at all, he feels more mechanical. Every day he goes through the same thing, living, but not alive. When he feels joy, it is overexerted, and he falls shortly after into a dark abyss that is his mind, his heart, his soul…
This boy’s talents were never recognized, he has never truly felt like he belonged, never felt wanted, never felt love in return…
And now we see him, counting down the days till his self destruction…
Welcome to my life…
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words to live by
So deep that it didn't even bleed and catch me
Off guard, red handed
Now I'm far from lonely
Asleep I still see you lying next to me
So deep that it didn't even bleed and catch me I..
I need something else
Would someone please just give me
Hit me, knock me out
And let me go back to sleep
I can laugh
All I want inside I still am empty
So deep that it didn't even bleed and catch me I...
I'll be just fine
Pretending I'm not
I'm far from lonely
And it's all that I've got
I'll be just fine
Pretending I'm not
I'm far from lonely
And it's all that I've got
I guess, I remember every glance you shot me
Un-harmed, I'm losing weight and some body heat
I squoze so hard
I stopped your heart from beating
So deep that I didn't even scream fuck me, I..
I'll be just fine
Pretending I'm not
I'm far from lonely
And it's all that I've got
I'll be just fine
Pretending I'm not
I'm far from lonely
And it's all that I've got
And it's all that I've got
Yeah, it's all that I've got
It's all that I've got
It's all that I've got
It's all that I've got!
So deep that it didn't even bleed and catch me
So deep that I didn't even scream fuck me
I'll be just fine
Pretending I'm not
I'm far from lonely
And it's all that I've got
I'll be just fine
Pretending I'm not
I'm far from lonely
And it's all that I've got
And it's all that I've got
Yeah, it's all that I've got
"all that iv got"-The Used
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