Shiitake

I don't like when people pronounce "Monday" as "Mundee." The advent of non-stick aluminum foil rivals that of toilet paper. I've played poker against the cousin of a world champion, and a good poker player in his own right. I have perfected the pepperoni pizza. I've been refered to as "smooth" by a member of the Dallas Cowboys. Jimmy Buffet might have joined the Merchant Marines if he hadn't learned how to sing. This past weekend I learned that Diet Dr. Pepper does, in fact, taste more like regular Dr. Pepper. If I was afforded the opportunity to take an underwater basket weaving class, I would decline. I've spent the night in Lemon Grove, California. I once ate 64 Chick-fil-a nuggets in 45 minutes. Ironically, they stayed in my stomach for 45 minutes. I've gone willy nilly all over the internet, and have since learned my lesson. There should be an Improv Southwest Florida. My middle name is not Josephine. In the movie of my life I still hope they would cast Dudley Moore, the star of the "Arthur" movies, to play me. I once tried to do two consecutive backflips on a trampoline, I was unsuccessful. I know people. I worked at Einstein Bagels for 6 days. I speak one language, including English. If I were to pass on a nugget of wisdom it would be; wear sunscreen! I played baseball in college and we drew fans such as Omar Visquel and C.C. Sabathia. I gave Outback the idea for the Bloomin' Onion, I thought of it while I was golfing on Paradise Island in the Bahamas. I just realized that the house at the beginning of the 90s television series "Step By Step" is the same as the house at the beginning of the 80s movie "Twins" starring Danny DeVito and Arnold Schwarzenegger. White water in the morning. I have been mistaken for Phil Stacey, it was a mistake. The people at Easy Cheese wanted me to endorse their new product Easy Salsa, but the idea of salsa coming from an aerosol can doesn't sit well with me. I know more about the "Back to the Future" movies than Crispin Glover and I don't care who knows it. I don't think it's a good idea to build a city on Rock-n-Roll. My acting experience includes a role as part of the 'network' in Verizon commercials.