From left to right- Mark, Lisa. We only date models, but we'll have sex with anyone.
If only I could become an AHA-style drawing and make homosexual love to myself!
Pictures
The Girl. Plazma sword in hand.
That crazy nymjolk Andy won like 231,674 Kronor out of a slot machine.
The Hugo Chavez Doll
Greatest world leader action figure EVER
Quotes
My Quotes
"...doubling up on a chick, I honestly find it to be the most appalling idea since the holocaust."
"That shit is twice the price and thrice the vice, dig?"
"His game is all impasse and no en passant."
referring to JJs bitch-ass chess strategy.
This quote is genius. I just know this one will survive me.
"It's not my fault your elevator sucks... well... for the most part"
Mark: Hold on, I got another call. I'm gonna have to switch over.
Al: Okay
Mark: This is Mark.
Al: Yeah, it's still me.
Mark: Well fuck it, I don't know how to switch over- you were saying?
Other Quotes
Mark: Al, do you have a scanner?
Al: Yes, but it's a pretty crappy computer, though.
Mark: But yo, I'm talking about the scanner.
Al: Yes, but -you know- they travel in packs.
Mrs. Reinbold (8th grade Algebra teacher at Fitzgerald Catholic Middle School, in responce to shenanigans during Mass): Mark, if you had any brains, you'd be dangerous.
Al: You know the worst thing about Canooers? The nerve. Those paddling sons-of-a-bitches.
"...because it's been two weeks since my last man whore exam or whatever Mark calls it in his blog"
-Fresh
Kim: ...so at least you get the moisturization
Jake: That's just what you don't need.
Beatniks and beatniketry. I like Arabs and Magyars. Turkish coffee, Turkish smoke. Gya! Austrians!! They so cool! Straight hipsters.. everyone of them. I like traveling.. Not really. I just like leaving. GUNS! I like guns.. but not gun people. They scare me. So do children and Cubans. I like math, geology, programming and gardening.. writing, strumming me Washburn, eating, aimless driving..
Torching SUVs... and bludgeoning the MacDonalds eating fatties inside.
Walking dogs... scary ones.. that don't like me. I like ethnic ladies and freaky-looking homely girls (can't explain it)... these are mutually exclusive though. I like NASCAR divorcees named Victoria! The kind you can huff Aquanet with.. outside of the day care she runs... in her exboyfriend's mother's trailer. I know you're out there Victoria and we will find each other.
..
Castro... before he dies. I'd like to meet the preserved carcass of Lenin before they bury him.
I like duck. Domesticated preferably. Not so keen on the kind you shoot out of the swamps 'roun yonda. I like to eat a duck that has lived a leisurely and confined existence and grown fat, soft and delicious.. like myself. From there I like them roasted or braised, tea-smoked .. crispy on the outside... Damn I love duck. I like most seafood that isn't kosher. Critters that live on the bottom of the ocean and feed off of the shit thereof; shrimp, clams, crabs, there are so many. Following the unkosher line, I like fish without scales like swordfish. I like salmon, trout, flounder- the not fishy tasting fish. I'll rock the tuna. I'm a big fan of bacon and other forms of swine. Pork chops suck. I eat cows. I eat a lot of chicken. ...trying to avoid that reconstituted shit ('chicken beaks and assholes' as they say) like they used to put in macnoogets (and continue to put in BKs chicken sandwich). The kind of stuff that'll give a bruva ass cancer. I don't like sausage and hot dogs and that kind of shit... ass cancer.. ass cancer. I don't eat animals that eat other animals. I ate crocodile one night at a Cajun restaurant in denver and still regret it. I don't like turkey and I devote a lot of time to complaining about turkey... and turkeys. I like cheddar.. mild. Gouda. Parmesan. Mozzarella. Romano. I have yet to meet one serphisterkated kat who'll come to the defense of Amerikan cheese. Swiss-not so keen on Swiss. Ricotta, Feta... good in moderation.
Yes, I'm afraid my bare-ass-and-reading-a-book picture has been removed. Apparently, my cheeks constitute a violation of myspace policy.
BOOKS READ LIST
Below, you will find a list of every book I've read since my triumphant return from Northern Europe in turbulent 2002.
101 Rekyjavik
by
HallgrÃmur Helgason
5 Ideas That Change the World
by
Barbara Ward
A Brief History Of Time
From The Big Bang To Black Holes
by
Stephen W. Hawkings
A Dolls House
by
Henrik Ibsen
A Nation of Sheep
by
William J. Lederer
Alcohol Fuels
How To Make Your Own
by
Larry W. Carley
An Enemy of The People
by
Henrik Ibsen
Andropov
by
Zhores A. Medvedev
Appreciating The 9 Fine
by
Various, edited by William G. Harkey
Arms and the Man
by
George Bernard Shaw
Beyond Good and Evil
by
Friedrich Nietzche
Chou
An Informal Biography of China's Legendary Chou En-Lai
by
John McCook Roots
CIA
Secrets of "The Company"
by
Mick Farren
Common Sense
by
Thomas Paine
Confessions of an English Opium-Eater
by
Thomas De Quincey
Dude, Where's My Country
by
Michael Moore
Eichmann In Jerusalem
A Report On The Banality Of Evil
by
Hannah Arendt
Europe Under the Old Regime
by
Albert Sorel
Faceless Killers
by
Hening Mankell
Fascism Past, Present, Future
by
Walter Laqueur
Flatland
A Romance Of Many Dimensions
by
Edwin A. Abbot
From Beruit To Jerusalem
by
Thomas Friedman
Guerilla Warfare
by
Che Guevara
Hedda Gabler
by
Henrik Ibsen
How Democracy Failed
by
Ellen Switzer
Lenin
Notes for a Biographer
by
Leon Trotsky
Moby Dick
by
Herman Melville
On The Road
by
Jack Kerouac
On The Social Contract
by
Jean-Jacques Rousseau
Pygmalion
by
George Bernard Shaw
Quotations from Chairman Moa Tse-Tung
by
Moa Tse-Tung
R.U.R. (Rossum's Universal Robots)
by
Karl Capek
Revolution in the Revolution?
by
Régis Debray
Right You Are If You Think You Are
by
Luigi Pirandello
Seminary Sketches
by
N.G. Pomyalovsky
Seven Red Sundays
by
Ramón J. Sender
Sideracked
by
Henning Mankell
Spotlight On Sweden
The Country and Its People
by
Hans-Ingvar Johnsson
State and Revolution
by
V.I. Lenin
Survivor
by
Chuck Palahniuk
Tar Heels
How North Carolinians Got Their Nickname
by
Michael W. Taylor
The Adding Machine
A Play in Seven Acts
by
Elmer L. Rice
The Anarchists
The Men Who Shocked an Era
by
Roderick Kedward
The Art of War
by
Sun-Tzu
The Catcher in the Rye
by
J.D. Salinger
The CIA's Greatest Hits
by
Mark Zepezauer
The Communist Manifesto
by
Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels
The Dogs Of Riga
by
Henning Mankell
The Guerrilla Reader
A Historical Anthology
Edited by
Walter Laqueur, various authors
The Howl
by
Allen Ginserg
The Master Builder
by
Henrik Ibsen
The Misanthrope
by
Molière
The Old Man And The Sea
by
Ernest Hemingway
The Prince
by
Niccolò Machiavelli
The Rise And Fall Of The Third Reich
A History Of Nazi Germany
by
William L. Shirer
The Sino-Soviet Conflict
The Widening Breach Between The Russian And Chinese Communists
by
Donald S. Zagoria
The Souls of Black Folk
by
W.E.B. Du Bois
The Suicide Club
by
Robert Louis Stevenson
The Turn of the Screw
by
Henry James
The Winter Of Our Discontent
by
John Steinbeck
War and Peace
by
Leo Tolstoy
Why I Am Not a Christian
and other essays on religion and related subjects
by
Bertrand Russell
Winning Back America
by
Howard Dean
In The Fist Of The Revolution
Life In A Cuban Country Town
by
Jose Yglesias
Quotations Of Chairman Jesse
compiled by
Myron Rupp
Tito... the Yugoslavian.. not the Jackson.
Hugo Chavez!! The greatest living world leader.
Howard Dean... I liked him since that speech in CA where he paraphrased Wellstone's "I'm from the Democratic wing of the Democratic party". That was when he was dead last in the polls.
I never considered myself a democrat up until that point.