JonBoi profile picture

JonBoi

I am here for Friends and Networking

About Me

...

My Interests

Head hunting, music, books, moives, meeting people, water sports, motorcycles, having a good time, and living life to the fullest.

I'd like to meet:

Chuck Norris and here is why....Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.Chuck Norris can speak braille.Chuck Norris was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the fuck he wants.Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck NorrisChuck Norris doesn't pop his collar, his shirts just get erections when they touch his body.Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.Chuck Norris divides by zero.Chuck Norris is the only person on the planet that can kick you in the back of the face.When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck NorrisGhosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.Chuck Norris is always on top during sex because Chuck Norris never fucks up.If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.Chuck Norris doesn't have hair on his testicles, because hair does not grow on steel. Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian. Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live. Chuck Norris once had a heart attack; his heart lost.Pinatas were made in an attempt to get Chuck Norris to stop kicking the people of Mexico. Sadly this backfired, as all it has resulted in is Chuck Norris now looking for candy after he kicks his victims.Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Chuck Norris' PC will crash.M.C. Hammer learned the hard way that Chuck Norris can touch this.When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's fucking beef.Chuck Norris doesn't use pickup lines, he simply says, "Now."Chuck Norris plays russian roulette with a fully loded revolver... and wins.Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.When Chuck Norris exercises, the machine gets stronger.Chuck Norris once killed a bird by throwing it off a cliff.Chuck Norris' wristwatch has no numbers on it. It just says, "Time to kick ass."Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.Changes may take up to 2 mins to show on your profileView All Friends | View Blog | Add Comment

Music:

I like to listen to just about anything.

Movies:

Anything mafia or gangsta, Kung Fu, Boonedoc Saints, Pulp Fiction, American History X, Battleroyal, Shoalin Soccer, I could go on and on but i would be typing here all night, lets just say I like all types of movies!

Books:

The God Father,The Last Don, Omerta, Just about anything by Stephen King, War and Peace, Crime and Punishment, Choke, The DaVinci Code, Angels And Demons, 5 People You Meet In Heaven.

Heroes:

My personal hero has to be my father, if you know me then you would why. He is the perfect example of how a man should act and care for his own.

My Blog

Pre Relationship Agreement

The party of the first part (herein referred to as "she"), being of sound mind and pretty good body, agrees to the following with the party of the second part (herein referred to as "him"): 1. FULL DI...
Posted by JonBoi on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

remembering

As I walked into your room and you saw lying there I felt a pain in my soul like never before. I tried to fool myself into thinking that it wasn't real, that if I didn't think about it I wouldn't feel...
Posted by JonBoi on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

What are your favorite movie quotes? post here

One of the all time best comes from....you guessed it!!! Scarface!!! "What you lookin' at? You all a bunch of fuckin' assholes. You know why? You don't have the guts to be what you wanna be? You n...
Posted by JonBoi on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Question of the week....

If you could choose any super power you wanted to have what would it be? Would you use it for the good of the world or personal gain?
Posted by JonBoi on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST