seanstabu

LIFE IS BACKWARDS The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. Life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get in the end of it? A death. What's that, a bonus? The life cycle is all backwards You should die first, you know, start out dead, get it out of the way. You wake up in an old age home, feeling better every day. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, then, when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day. You work 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You drink like a fish, party your ass off, and screw anything that moves - you've only got a few years left, so why not?!? Then you get ready for High School. You go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a baby, then, you spend your last 9 months floating peacefully with luxuries like central heating, spa, room service on tap, larger quarters everyday, then you finish off as an orgasm!
What Is Your Kink?

SadoMasochism
Pain is your thing. You probably are tattooed or pierced, or enjoy giving tattoos or piercings. You use unusual objects as sex toys. In the bedroom, you're wild and untamed! Your motto is Hurts so good!
THE LAWS OF THE UNIVERSE: Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch. Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal. Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire. Variation Law: If you change lines or traffic lanes, the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings. Law of Lines: When you walk IN the grocery store, there's never anyone in the checkout line. Inverse Hair Dryer Law: You're sure you hear the phone ringing in the background, until you turn the hair dryer off. Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with. Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will. Law of Bio mechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach. Theater Law: At any event, the people whose seats are farthest from the aisle arrive last. Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold. Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers. Law of Natural Attraction: If you and your date are the only two on a five-mile stretch of beach, the family of five will set up right next to you. Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug. Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are. Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about. Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet. Law of the Last Word: "Hey, watch this!"