ben

Out Of Egypt, Into The Great Laugh Of Mankind, And I Shake The Dirt From My Sandals As I Run
"I write differently from the way I speak, I speak differently from the way I think, I think differently from the way I should think - and so it goes on into the darkest depths of infinity" - Kafka
Well I like to read a lot and I listen to music pretty much twenty four hours a day. I play guitar, though in all honesty I have literally no musical talent what-so-ever which in my view isn't really fair, i mean what have i done to not be as good as Hendrix, apart from not practise?! I like a lot of things in theory but when it comes down to it it seems that i don't really like them, things like snow, which i love as long as im not walking in it and my shoes are all wet and its freezing cold. I have an idea in my head of how i'd like things to be but it rarely seems to match up with how things are, i think in reality this is probably because i don't try and make them that way, i guess i just prefer living in my head, that and i'm lazy, and also i like to complain and if things were how i wanted them to be then i wouldn't have anything to complain about... true story. I like to think im a writer, although i haven't actually finished writing anything yet, however i have started, and in fact have nearly finished, so when it's done im basically aiming for the nobel prize in literature, that'll show everyone, and then i'll brag... a lot :P I like reading pretentious literature and watching black and white films, i also like hungry hippos and reading lyrics. When the music industry collapses and everything is done online i will probably cry because secretly i like the little booklets just as much as the music. I always thought i was quite cool as a kid but the more i sit back and look at the things i like it turns out that infact im pretty lame. I kind of like it that way anyway so it's ok.
"That men be granted their hearts desires and that they be by them consumed" - Salman Rushdie
"They have worries, they're counting the miles, they're thinking about where to sleep tonight, the weather, how much money for gas, how they'll get there - and all the time they'll get there anyway, you see. But they need to worry and betray time with urgencies false and otherwise, purely anxious and whiny, their souls really wont be at peace until they can latch onto an established and proven worry, and having once found it they assume facial expressions to fit and go with it, which is, you see, unhappiness, and all the time it all flies by them and they know it, and that too worries them no end" - Jack Kerouac
Darkness at the break of noon Shadows even the silver spoon The handmade blade, the child's balloon Eclipses both the sun and moon To understand you know too soon There is no sense in trying.Pointed threats, they bluff with scorn Suicide remarks are torn From the fool's gold mouthpiece The hollow horn plays wasted words Proves to warn That he not busy being born Is busy dying.Temptation's page flies out the door You follow, find yourself at war Watch waterfalls of pity roar You feel to moan but unlike before You discover That you'd just be One more person crying.So don't fear if you hear A foreign sound to your ear It's alright, Ma, I'm only sighing.As some warn victory, some downfall Private reasons great or small Can be seen in the eyes of those that call To make all that should be killed to crawl While others say don't hate nothing at all Except hatred.Disillusioned words like bullets bark As human gods aim for their mark Made everything from toy guns that spark To flesh-colored Christs that glow in the dark It's easy to see without looking too far That not much Is really sacred.While preachers preach of evil fates Teachers teach that knowledge waits Can lead to hundred-dollar plates Goodness hides behind its gates But even the president of the United States Sometimes must have To stand naked.An' though the rules of the road have been lodged It's only people's games that you got to dodge And it's alright, Ma, I can make it.Advertising signs that con you Into thinking you're the one That can do what's never been done That can win what's never been won Meantime life outside goes on All around you.You lose yourself, you reappear You suddenly find you got nothing to fear Alone you stand with nobody near When a trembling distant voice, unclear Startles your sleeping ears to hear That somebody thinks They really found you.A question in your nerves is lit Yet you know there is no answer fit to satisfy Insure you not to quit To keep it in your mind and not fergit That it is not he or she or them or it That you belong to.Although the masters make the rules For the wise men and the fools I got nothing, Ma, to live up to.For them that must obey authority That they do not respect in any degree Who despise their jobs, their destinies Speak jealously of them that are free Cultivate their flowers to be Nothing more than something They invest in.While some on principles baptized To strict party platform ties Social clubs in drag disguise Outsiders they can freely criticize Tell nothing except who to idolize And then say God bless him.While one who sings with his tongue on fire Gargles in the rat race choir Bent out of shape from society's pliers Cares not to come up any higher But rather get you down in the hole That he's in.But I mean no harm nor put fault On anyone that lives in a vault But it's alright, Ma, if I can't please him.Old lady judges watch people in pairs Limited in sex, they dare To push fake morals, insult and stare While money doesn't talk, it swears Obscenity, who really cares Propaganda, all is phony.While them that defend what they cannot see With a killer's pride, security It blows the minds most bitterly For them that think death's honesty Won't fall upon them naturally Life sometimes Must get lonely.My eyes collide head-on with stuffed graveyards False gods, I scuff At pettiness which plays so rough Walk upside-down inside handcuffs Kick my legs to crash it off Say okay, I have had enough What else can you show me?And if my thought-dreams could be seen They'd probably put my head in a guillotine But it's alright, Ma, it's life, and life only.