Hazel profile picture

Hazel

BIG. HARD. NOW.

About Me

Okay, I'm about 5'4", pale skin, bright red hair, bright green eyes. I like to be photographed with a beachball. As far as I'm aware, I cannot ride a bike. As you can see from my photos, I also have a propensity for dressing up as Nikki Sixx. I'm cutting down now and am sure to quit in the near future.

My Interests

I make art and write copiously.

I'd like to meet:

Tom. I'd bitch-slap him for making me put errors on my page. It's 'WHOM I would like to meet' not 'who', damn it. Although it would probably be more correct to write 'people with whom I would like to meet'. Why not just write 'people I would like to meet', eh? It would be so much simpler, you strange, strange little man. Who are you calling pedantic? Surely you mean 'a pedant'?

Music:

I listen to music a bit. Here are some bands I like: Beirut, Gogol Bordello, Free, QOTSA, Electric Eel Shock, Girls Aloud, Rammstein, Ministry, PRIMUS!, Fantomas, Turbonegro, Uncle Sam, Slayer, The Pogues, Nina Simone, Twin Zero, Tool, The Blueprint, Anathema, [early] Deftones, Soilwork, Portishead, Billie Holiday, A Perfect Circle, Nine Inch Nails (a bit), Wilt, The Bloodhound Gang, Mark Lanegan, Life of Agony, Killswitch Engage, Edith Piaf, Depeche Mode, Trivium, Earthtone9, ABBA, It Dies Today, Bad Company, Moby (Animal Rights), The Go Team, The Undertones, American Headcharge, Katatonia, Paul Robeson, Pretenders, Jimmy Eat World, Machinae Supremacy, Kerbdog, Le Mystere des Voix Bulgares, The Music, Arch Enemy, Muse, Radiohead, Kyuss, Machine Head, Bloc Party, Spiritual Beggars, The Wildhearts, Devin Townsend/Strapping Young Lad, 30 Seconds to Mars, Therapy?, Clutch, Finch, In Flames, Akira Yamaoka, Monster Magnet, Paradise Lost, Opeth, Pulp, 36 Crazy Fists, White Zombie, Moonspell, Blondie, Chimaira, The Buzzcocks, Mad Capsule Markets, Pantera, The Pillows, Mastodon, Aphex Twin, Gwen Stefani, Bjork, Stone Temple Pilots, The Eels, Yann Tiersen, Paul Rodgers, Orff, Garbage, The Mars Volta, Beck, Frank Sinatra, Cyclefly, PJ Harvey, Tori Amos, Red Sparowes, Pelican, The Eagles of Death Metal, Explosions in the Sky, 65 Days of Static, System of a Down, Stabbing Westward, Kate Bush, Lamb of God, CKY, Chris Isaak...to name a few.

Movies:

I have a free Sofa Cinema subsrcription. Haven't left the sofa since got it. David Tennant on tap. Mmmmm...

Books:

Yup, books are pretty good. For reading and stuff mostly. Or maybe as an impromptu rain hat during an April shower.Currently reading Why do People get Ill? by Darian Leader and David Corfield; Forgetting Things by Sigmund Freud (only a tiny book but somehow I keep forgetting to pick it up and finish the little bugger); Love's Executioner by Irvin D. Yalom; and Semiotics: The Basics. I love Slavoj Žižek. Have a sneaky peek here: http://web.mit.edu/cms/reconstructions/interpretations/deser treal.html

My Blog

KARAOKE MANIA

This is the venue - http://murphis.co.uk, so check it out.I have a table booked from 8pm on Saturday the 24th. Be there or be a parallelogram with four right angles. Look forward to seeing you all th...
Posted by Hazel on Thu, 15 Mar 2007 01:08:00 PST

Working Girl

I am starting a new job the local comprehensive school as a 'Learning Mentor'.For the first time in my life, I will be getting a salary! Unless I misheard and I'm being paid in celery...>_...
Posted by Hazel on Mon, 26 Feb 2007 04:29:00 PST

The best bad jokes

Q: what do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A: a stick(Thanks to Kim for that one)An irishman goes for a job interview on a farm. The interviewer asks him: "have you ever shoed a horse?" The i...
Posted by Hazel on Fri, 15 Dec 2006 09:54:00 PST

On the Ning Nang Nong

On the Ning Nang NongWhere the cows go bong!And the monkeys all say BOO!There's a Nong Nang Ning Where the trees go ping!And the teapots jibber jabber jooOn the Nong Ning NangAll the mice go clang!And...
Posted by Hazel on Sun, 03 Dec 2006 03:26:00 PST

Old pic, new blog

The photo in the background of my MySpace page is a detail from this one. I dug it out and remembered how pleased I was with it. It took up the entire wall of the exhibition room. If I ever get this s...
Posted by Hazel on Mon, 27 Nov 2006 09:28:00 PST

The Humble Pea

How, exactly, can a pea be 'humble'? Try this:   Type "humble pea" into the Google search engine. How many hits do you expect to get for a search like that? Two? Three perhaps? Certainly not 2...
Posted by Hazel on Thu, 31 Aug 2006 03:24:00 PST

I'm writing a book. Help!

I am currently researching a book which I fully intend to start writing soon. Here is my draft introduction/synopsis (though it isn't really either). Give it a read and let me know what you think or i...
Posted by Hazel on Fri, 07 Jul 2006 12:35:00 PST

Po-em

Incompatibilities by Ted Hughes   Desire's a vicious separator in spite                  Of twisting women round men: Col...
Posted by Hazel on Tue, 16 May 2006 06:46:00 PST

Here's some art for you

Covered in bruises Purple badges of honour From a wicked night   It's a Haiku.
Posted by Hazel on Wed, 22 Mar 2006 06:00:00 PST