NEFF, WHY WONT THE FUCKING TRUCK TURN!!!!

I love waking up drunk, saves me the effort of drinking, and the money. Stiffler is AWESOME!!!! people like me because I have shiney shins, one thumbnail, and can do the macarana if it gets me a free beer. I go to school, and carry and Eddie Bauer water bottle almost everyday, I picked it up at Target and think its pretty hip. I try to always keep a fresh box of Fruit Loops in my pantry, but never seem to have milk thats any good in my fridge. John Wayne watches every move I make in my house, he is the eyes and ears of this educational establishment. I go to school, work 2 jobs now, and am also in the National Guard, kind of a boring life some would say, but then those people have never drivin the greeny blue blob, seriously. With that truck, its always an adventure, you never know what its gunna do, but know you'll never be in to much trouble, because there has been an empty snake cage in the back for well over a month. Just once in my life I would like to open my fridge door, and see a midget in there, eating a bowl of Captain Crunch.