About Me
O kay, I think it's high time this thing gets re-written again. It sounded way to pretentious before... I guess one of those "IT SEEMED LIKE A GOOD IDEA AT THE TIME LOL?" moments.
My name is Jewel. I'm a DDR master, a zombie (not a corporate zombie; Know how to differentiate between the two or GTFO) and according to extremely insecure guys with Oedipus complexes, I like dick so much I don't.
Although not really -- But doesn't that have a nice ring? Diamond-like? Raptor Jesus, I have to write this shit down.
Before you comment on me, my profile or my pictures saying I'm "hott" or "sexii" or some other misspelled street slang, just know that you'll likely be denied the chance to get to know me. So don't claim you read my profile: I do NOT appreciate being treated like your personal lapdance and so I do NOT find your hormone-driven wishful thinking AT ALL complimenting -- Don't even TELL me "it was just a comliment jeez". I don't find "omg ur so sexii id totaly fuck u" at all complimenting. And I don't care HOW irresitable you think you are, Freudlet, this is textbook.
And SHOCK! AMAZEMENT! DISBELIEF! THE HORROR! I have in fact dated guys before! Seriously how else would I have found out I'm not interested in them? So please, don't shit on my unformed opinion of you, and don't waste your time trying to convince me I'm someone I'm not for your own personal/sexual gain. Dun't work that well. Suck it, Trebek.
Just... Don't try to get in my pants. You will fail miserably and it will be embarrassing for you AND your future generations. Yes, girls, this means you too, no matter how gay I may be.
Paraphrased: If you message me with a request to be added based solely on the fact you think I'm good looking, you will be denied. And if I don't already know you in real life, I likely won't be too stoked to start. Sorry.
I read because I like to and I write because I love to, and I draw because I have ideas I also want to express with more than words, so do NOT fanatically compare my art to Jhonen Vasquez (How could you! Poor JCV!) or that artist behind Inuyasha (How dare you! Poor Jewel's pride!). I don't give a damn how much you LOVE SESSHY OMG KAWAII because tellig me my art is someone else's is not going to make me like you. Go become an hero.
Speaking of, here's a fact that actually ISN'T meant to sound arrogant for once, but that I'm sure Pooka can relate to -- I am a hero to many. I'm still not entirely sure why. Some people think I'm an outspoken rebel (which is false), some people think I'm an outspoken lesbian (which is true), some dig my clothing style and some dig my face -- And I don't understand it. People seem to be drawn to me as if I'm their safehaven, or the person who will get them through life intact, and to an extent it gives me no room to do that on my own. So if you want to get to know me, don't idolize me. Don't build up this brilliant image of Jewel St. Jewel that you think I am, because I might unwittingly shatter it (as well as your perception of a role model) later on. Don't put me on a pedestal, don't proclaim me your goddess... Just be my friend.
I have a job, which some people think constitutes as formidable ground to call me a workaholic corporate zombie. This is kind of unnerving, because if I don't give my all to my job, I'll lose it, and I can't afford to do that. So if you really want me to like you, understand that I can't always be bouncy hyper teenage rebel Jewel -- Because I've grown up and now I need to take responsibility for a lot more.
I know, Coffee Crew... I don't like it any more than you do.
If you're older than me and think I'm a pretentious snob, look back and realize that people probably thought the same about you, and that I'm doing my best. So lay off.
If you're younger than me and think I'm a pretentious snob, well... I suppose the only advice I can give you is to go gefall auf a kliff or go become an hero or something equally as painful involving a sexually transmitted train collision. And sprout a pair!
If you're my age and think I'm a " "... Cool, so are you! Let's be " "s together! ♥
I'm starting college at Sac City soon, hopefully... Any survival tips would be greatly appreciated.
Oh wait wait, on the subject of pretentious snobbish things, I reserve the right to call what I draw "art". Just because it's not pretentious as hell or realistic or abstract doesn't make it any less art. So before you flame me about it, just know that I'll block you for such conduct, which totally takes the fun out of trying to get a rise out of someone.
And if you decide to call my art "anime" or "manga", have some respect for Japanese artforms and make sure you're using those terms somewhere I CAN'T hear you. Unless, of course, you don't mind me gouging you for some vital organs and donating them to a dying Nigerian princess.
No, I don't think Sesshoumaru is SO KAWAII!!!!111!!1. No, I don't dress the way I do so I can be your OMG FEMALE BISHI!!!! YATTA!!!!!!11. And I don't want to hear you talk about Inuyasha or FMA, although I'm sure you do... So find someplace else to do it.
Yes, these are legit warnings -- I've been faced by these ugly, ramen-stenched otaku-freak scenarios before.
And furthermore, I like big butts and I cannot lie. You otherbrothers can't deny. (In Engrish, I've run out of things to say. So... yeah.)
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