Matt profile picture

Matt

I am here for Friends

About Me

On the third day of the 3rd month of the third year, I was born under the sign of the crow. I howled at the moon, ate teriyaki beef jerky and dreamt of destroying planets with my sense of style. Years later, planets later, I've discovered who I truly am. Unfortunately, like a child who understands language, but has not the necessary tools to utilize it, I cannot tell you who I truly am with my current mind/mouth. I have not evolved enough yet, but I will and when I do you can bet your ass I'll be having a pretty good time.

http://www.myheritage.com

My Interests

Comedy of all kinds (even Komedy), but mostly sketch comedy (not sketch Komedy): Kids in the Hall, Mr. Show, Monty Python.

I'd like to meet:

Les Claypool, Henry Rollins, Weird Al, John Candy, Bill Irwin, Cary Grant, Katherine Hepburn

Music:

Primus, N.I.L.8., Tom Waits, The Kinks, Me First and the Gimme Gimmes, Face to Face, Faith No More, Mr. Bungle, Les Claypool in any of his many powerful bands, Mariachi Music,

Movies:

Rear Window, Rushmore, The Incredibles, Bringing Up Baby, Gone With The Wind, Philadelphia Story, His Girl Friday, Big Lebowski, Clue, Tron, Delirious (starring John Candy), Toy Story I and II, Lost in Translation, James Bond movies (the Sean Connery ones), Planes Trains and Automobiles, Back to the Beach, Star Wars: Empire Strikes Back, Naked Gun 1, 2 1/2, and 33 1/3, Airplane, Iron Giant, Conquest of Space, West of Dead, Harry Potter 1-4

Television:

The Simpsons, Arrested Development, Futurama, The Critic, MacGyver, The Transformers (old school), Monty Python, Family Guy, Falty Towers, Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius, Fairly Odd Parents

Books:

Ender's Game (Orson Scott Card), Harry Potter 1 - 6, The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, The Hobbit, Anything by Daniel Pinkwater, The Extraordinary Adventures of Alfred Kropp, Death of a Salesman, Hamlet, Dancing Naked in the Mind Field, Narnia books.

Heroes:

My parents

My Blog

It's Okay to Tune Out

There are times in any conversation when it's not only okay to tune out, but necessary.  Particularly when you hear phrases such as: "While watching the world series of poker..." "I saw the funni...
Posted by Matt on Wed, 01 Aug 2007 06:29:00 PST

Future History: X (mas) Marks the Spot

Hello my little sherbert balls.  Captain Matthew Von Tremmel here with a few Xmas (Christmas) tidbits that may be helpful if you make it far enough into the future.  They finally found Sant...
Posted by Matt on Mon, 18 Dec 2006 12:29:00 PST

Future History: Go Meet Yourself

It's a certain day, in a certain year, in a certain month in a certain future.  Listen up!  Time is getting all circular and it's irritating me. I'm not sure of the legality of this whole si...
Posted by Matt on Tue, 01 Aug 2006 05:56:00 PST

Future History: The Way We Were Going to Be Tomorrow

Hoy hoy, Captain Matthew Von Tremmel here.  Happy 4th of July 5th, better known as the day after the 4th.  You'll all be happy to know that in the future the past is just as important as it ...
Posted by Matt on Wed, 05 Jul 2006 12:14:00 PST

Future History: A Dream is a Wish Your Fart Makes

I was just reading through a few of my past missives to you all and realized I haven't told you much about all the great stuff the future holds.  And when I say stuff I mean, "things" and when I ...
Posted by Matt on Thu, 08 Jun 2006 08:09:00 PST

Future History: Girls in the Future are Perverts

The year is the future, the time is later than you think and I just got back from my date with soap bubble queen Annie McFay.  You're probably thinking to yourself "date?  I thought Captain...
Posted by Matt on Fri, 26 May 2006 11:19:00 PST

Future History: Enough Already

Me again.  Hi.  You may not even care any more about the unfolding of the fabric of my life, but I don't have much to do in this age of robots and double-sided tape. Mostly, I just wanted to...
Posted by Matt on Thu, 04 May 2006 10:51:00 PST

Future History: Shake a Leg!

My favorite thing about the future has got to be the internal internet; everybody can pretend to be smart, and mapquest is even more accessible. Having a tiny processor, hard drive, and optical i...
Posted by Matt on Thu, 30 Mar 2006 09:26:00 PST

Future History: The Transpecies Love

It's been a tough day in the future....so far.  Most of the trouble started when my animal companion Ninny decided it was time to taste the power cord to my survival bubble while I was sleeping ...
Posted by Matt on Sun, 19 Mar 2006 09:37:00 PST

Future History: The Day the Monkeys Died

The year is 2022 and I'm the only man left on myspace. The world has turned into one gigantic internet where everything happens electronically and I mean everything: today I faxed myself to work. ...
Posted by Matt on Tue, 07 Mar 2006 01:05:00 PST