REPRENIZE
topic: the music of josh gura
author: Scott Pakin's automatic complaint-letter generator
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What would I do without REPRENIZE to provide me with a non-stop source of bloody-minded editorials to complain about? To start, I am tired of hearing or reading that REPRENIZE would sooner give up money, fame, power, and happiness than perform a stultiloquent act. You know that that is simply not true. For better or for worse, REPRENIZE is not interested in what is true and what is false or in what is good and what is evil. In fact, those distinctions have no meaning to it whatsoever. The only thing that has any meaning to REPRENIZE is Bonapartism. Why? It is only when one has an answer to that question is it possible to make sense of REPRENIZE's quips because if REPRENIZE isn't crass, I don't know who is.
Although we can occasionally tie the retailers of frowzy new claims to older fabrications, there is unfortunately no shortage of new rumor. REPRENIZE will hate me for saying this, but it says that anyone who resists it deserves to be crushed. What it means by this, of course, is that it wants free reign to strip people of their rights to free expression and individuality. The unalterable law of biology has a corollary that is generally overlooked. Specifically, I've never bothered REPRENIZE. Yet REPRENIZE wants to perpetuate misguided and questionable notions of other passive-aggressive varmints' intentions. Whatever happened to "live and let live"? On the surface, it would seem merely that there is an inherent contradiction between REPRENIZE's slovenly form of terrorism and basic human rights. But the truth is that REPRENIZE's "compromises" represent a backward step of hundreds of years, a backward step into a chasm with no bottom save the endless darkness of death.
REPRENIZE's invectives are not pedantic treatises expressing theories or extravaganzas dealing in fables or fancies. They are substantial, sober outpourings from the very soul of solecism. REPRENIZE's wheelings and dealings are evil. They're evil because they cause global warming; they make your teeth fall out; they give you spots; they incite nuclear war. And, as if that weren't enough, REPRENIZE exhibits an air of superiority. You realize, of course, that that's really just a defense mechanism to cover up its obvious inferiority.
This is a suitable place in the letter to explain how REPRENIZE is simply incapable of entertaining an unorthodox idea. Unfortunately, I'll have to skip that rather intersting discussion because I have bigger fish to fry. In particular, I need to tell you that if REPRENIZE's roorbacks get any more fickle, I expect they'll grow legs and attack me in my sleep. REPRENIZE plans to dismantle the family unit. What can you do about that? Start by reading about how REPRENIZE's morally questionable undertakings reduce principle to an expedient. Become informed about the deceit, lies, and propanganda surrounding its promotion of simplism. Tell everyone you know that REPRENIZE's like the man behind the curtain in the Wizard of Oz. Pull back the curtain of libertinism and you'll see a stinking Machiavellian hiding behind it, furiously pulling the levers of stoicism in a blathering attempt to obfuscate the issue so that one can't see what ought to be totally obvious to all. That sort of discovery should make any sane person realize that every time REPRENIZE tells its stooges that it can achieve its goals by friendly and moral conduct, their eyes roll into the backs of their heads as they become mindless receptacles of unsubstantiated information, which they accept without question.
Most people react to REPRENIZE's resentful precepts as they would to having a pile of steaming pig manure dumped on their doorstep. Even when they can cope, they resent having to do so. Speaking of resentment, we have a dilemma of leviathan proportions on our hands: Should we tear down REPRENIZE's fortress of prætorianism, or is it sufficient to allay the concerns of the many people who have been harmed by REPRENIZE? To rephrase that question, why doesn't REPRENIZE reveal the truth about itself? My best guess, for what it may be worth, is based on two key observations. The first observation is that REPRENIZE's naive-to-the-core proposed social programs represent an indissoluble alliance, an intimate alloy, between Maoism and Bulverism. The second, more telling, observation is that its detractors are correct in their observation that we should treat its unprofessional entourage for what it is, a lousy group of egocentric sociopaths. What's my problem, then? Allow me to present it in the form of a question: Does it enjoy the dubious cachet of being the world's most stuck-up storyteller? No, don't guess; this isn't audience participation day. I'll just tell you. But before I do, you should note that it is guided by the brain-damaged ethos of incendiarism. (Actually, it can be distinguished only with difficulty which of its flunkies act out of inner stupidity or incompetence and which only pretend to for whatever stingy, churlish reason, but that's not important now.)
I by no means claim to know everything about noxious showboaters. That fact may not be pleasant but it is a fact regardless of our wishes on the matter. Perhaps REPRENIZE received its information (or rather, misinformation) from late-night television programs and "B" movies. Should we blindly trust such self-indulgent Neanderthals? My mother always told me, "If you don't have something intelligent to say, just keep quiet." Apparently, REPRENIZE's mother never told it that.
Listen carefully: No matter how much REPRENIZE squirms and wriggles, it will never escape the fact that its rantings stink to high heaven. I'll say that again because I want it to sink in: Nugatory is as nugatory does. REPRENIZE is hardly the first proponent of malignant charlatanism and it is unlikely to be the last. Whatever weight we accord to that fact, we may be confident that REPRENIZE wants to waste hours and hours of our time in fruitless conferences and meetings. It gets better: It actually believes that two wrongs make a right. I guess no one's ever told it that it is trying hard to convince a substantial number of homicidal, rapacious meanies to deflect attention from its unwillingness to support policies that benefit the average citizen. It presumably believes that the "hundredth-monkey phenomenon" will spontaneously incite the most militant wastrels you'll ever see to behave likewise. The reality, however, is that many people respond to REPRENIZE's laughable, ill-natured doctrines in the same way that they respond to television dramas. They watch them; they talk about them; but they feel no overwhelming compulsion to do anything about them. That's why I insist we clear the cobwebs out of people's heads and help them understand that REPRENIZE's musings celebrate deception, diversion, and fashion.
REPRENIZE twists every argument into some sort of "struggle" between two parties. REPRENIZE unvaryingly constitutes the underdog party, which is what it claims gives it the right to substitute pap for art. If we can understand what has caused the current plague of pouty, coldhearted boosterism enthusiasts, I believe that we can then convince the government to clamp down hard on REPRENIZE's epigrams. Maybe REPRENIZE has a reason for acting the way it does, but I doubt it. It seems to me that, as others have stated long before me, "this is no laughing matter." Like I said, REPRENIZE's complaints are a mere cavil, a mere scarecrow, one of the last shifts of a desperate and dying cause. No one who is seriously interested in art, culture, or politics expects to learn anything from REPRENIZE. I kid you not.
My purpose is to take the mechanisms, language, ideology, and phraseology for determining what is right and what is wrong out of the hands of REPRENIZE and its dupes and put them back in the hands of ordinary people. Most of the battles I fight along the way are exigencies, not long-range educational activities. Nevertheless, REPRENIZE keeps trying to inspire a recrudescence of noisome fatuity. And if we don't remain eternally vigilant, it will unmistakably succeed. No one that I speak with or correspond with is happy about this situation. Of course, I don't speak or correspond with harebrained snollygosters, REPRENIZE's legatees, or anyone else who fails to realize that I must ask that REPRENIZE's followers purge the darkness from REPRENIZE's heart. I know they'll never do that so here's an alternate proposal: They should, at the very least, back off and quit trying to prevent me from getting my work done. If you intend to challenge someone's assertions, you need to present a counterargument. REPRENIZE provides none.
REPRENIZE's teachings serve as a stepping stone to world government. And who will compose that world government? A ruling class consisting of feebleminded prevaricators and what I call meretricious deadbeats. In the beginning of this letter, I promised you details, but now I'm running out of space. So here's one detail to end with: A sure-fire way to elicit derisive sneers, leers, and jeers from REPRENIZE is to set the stage so that my next letter will begin from a new and much higher level of influence.
(to be continued?)
joshgura.com - reprenize page at joshgura.com - 200% Tireder (my film about squirrels)