I don't believe in me either.
I'll tell you what I do believe in:
1) Time-travelling dinosaurs.
2) A lucky severed rabbit's foot.
3) Child labor.
4) The no-socks-with-sandals rule.
5) Bad fathers make for bad plumbers.
6) Communism is the only way.
7) Dictatorship is also the only way. Don't argue.
8) We should vote on those eligible to vote.
9) Conquering the world, and Super Mario Galaxy.
10) Far-fetched sketches of my hand as drawn by a two-year-old (do the traces make my hand look fat?).
11) Making lists.
12) Home ninjas. Ninjas waiting to pounce anywhere.
13) Good music.
14) Bad timing.
15) Ugly babies.
16) Conspiracy Theories.
17) Age-ism.
18) Scapegoats and the advancement of goats into better butter products.
19) Wars and arguments settled by a game of Goldeneye 007.
20) Heaters in Space. It's a damn cold place.
21) Baroque Art. Impressionism. Cubism. Japonisme. Post-anything. Dada. Abstract Expressionism. Finger Painting. Art Brut. Modern Art.
22) Noise Pop. Psychedelic Balearic Rock. Fuzz-Folk. Japanese Pop. IDM (Intelligent Dance Music). Westernized African Music. Krautrock. Shoegazing. Math Rock.
23) Star-gazing in the afternoon.
24) Romance in third-world countries.
25) Reliable protagonists in first-person narrative.
26) Philosophy and social acceptance.
27) Unicorns and corn on the cob.
28) Faux wisdom found in fortune cookies of American Chinese restaurants.
29) Global Warming.
30) Dry cleaning.
31) The Abominable Snowman and Barack Obama.
32) Pluto is, in fact, a planet.
And you.
Things I don't believe in:
Everything else.
Okay, so Pluto may not be a planet, but the Planet Pluto is a fine blog, I hear.
