Jarv profile picture

Jarv

If I thought I made a difference I'd kill myself today but so many are like me lost in the fray

About Me


Pimp out your webpage with PimpWebpage

Hey! I'm a violent maelstrom of snot and dog nails and midget dancers in fairy hats porking pvc-clad gnomes. I'm a vortex of strife. A dog's burp in the face of humanity. I live in an acorn shaped submersible inside a crater brimming with Tesco value beans. My planet is populated by giant aphids which harvest hairy bannanas and communicate with xylaphones. In my spare time I calculate the distances between various low-grade gas giants. LoL! Kthxbye! *random* cheese! People who write their profiles like this should be thrown to the dogs. (Though to be honest I've never seen one) :-S What's with the proliferation of the word random anyways! Grrr. To be honest I'm I'm a six-footish, burley Welshman with blue eyes and big sideboards. Excited yet? I like going out on the lash with mates to the pub or Metros, a club in Cardiff, where they serve double whiskeys for a modest 99p. w00t R0x0r! The Queens Vault is also excellent because you can buy two steaks for just 7. Sometimes Savoy in Barry on a Saturday night. Depends how bored I am though. Otherwise laying around in town somewhere, drinking beer in the hot sun. Either outside the museum or at the fabled "small man". Hell, anywhere so long as there's alcohol to be drunk and tobacco to scav. I shouldn't really say that cause I'll get in trouble. So long and thanks for all the roll-ups people. Stoo and Rhwn particularly. I work the graveyard shift at ASDA, part of the Wal Mart family. So I'm a cog in a multinational money-spinning corporate death machine. That's from 10pm til 6am in the morning, three nights a week. They gave me a name badge to re-affirm my identity though. Go team! Ah well, can't fault the 7.25 an hour wage. I've been there about a year now. How time flies when your stacking the shit. A third of my wages funds my drinking habit, the rest of it I save in an ISA which has a moderately high rate of interest. yes :-|. I like going to punk gigs in my spare time. though i don't attempt to be 'more hardcore than thou'. I really enjoy photography, and I'm not trying to sound bohemian or cultured by saying that as alot of people do. I'm bastard good at it and even have a darkroom at home. I'd love to make something of it though I can be a quiet guy and it seems a flash in the pan idea. I've got a house trained lop-eared rabbit called Sooty. The most original name we could muster for a black animal. He normally get's called rat though. he jumps on the bed and harasses you and watches TV and tries to get inside the biscuit barrel. He's trying to hump my feet as I type this. I like to question reality, also religion until my head spins. This can be fun, but it dangerously teeters on mental-collapse sometimes. Well, I guess that's all folks. I've summed up my whole existence in a few paragraphs... Home | Browse | Search | Invite | Film | Mail | Blog | Favorites | Forum | Groups | Events | Videos | Music | Comedy | Classifieds

My Interests

I’ve got nothing to say, I’ve got nothing to do, all of my neurons are functioning smoothly, yet still I’m a cyborg just like you, I'm one big myoma that thinks, my planet supports only me, I’ve got this one problem: will I live forever? I’ve got just a short time to see, modern man, evolutionary betrayer, modern man, ecosystem destroyer, modern man, destroy yourself in shame, modern man, pathetic example of Earth’s organic heritage, when I look back and think, when I ponder and ask "Why?", I see my ancestors spend with careless abandon, assuming eternal supply, modern man, evolutionary betrayer, modern man, ecosystem destroyer, modern man, destroy yourself in shame, modern man, pathetic example of Earth’s organic heritage, just a sample of carbon-based wastage, just a fucking tragic epic of you and I

I'd like to meet:

Funny, interesting, like-minded people in the Cardiff area. Wait, who am I kidding! Cam whores of the world!
Your Irish Name Is...
Alistair Guinness

Music:

Bad religion, The Pogues, Shane MacGowan and the Popes, Mad Caddies, Dropkick Murphys, Flogging Molly, The Real McKenzies, NOFX, No Use For a Name, Nirvana, Pixies, Misfits, Dead Kennedys, Manic Street Preachers, Good Riddance, Only Crime, Rise Against, Strike Anywhere, Snuff, Strung Out, Goldfinger, Guns 'N' Wankers, Billy No Mates, Less Than Jake, Leonard Cohen, The Small Faces, Saul Williams, Sublime, Long Beach Dub Allstars, Long Beach ShortBus, Johnny Cash, The Jam, The Clash, Black Sabbath and stuff.Say No To Emo

Television:

Six Feet Under (I've just finished watching the fifth season, what a fucking beautiful ending) Curb Your Enthusiasm, I'm Alan Partridge, Any cartoons like Family Guy, Futurama, The Simpsons, South Park etc. Brainiac: Science Abuse, Scrap Heap Challenge, Most Haunted, My Name Is Earl.

Books:

The Ghost that Haunted Itself: The Story of the Mackenzie Poltergeist, A Drink with Shane MacGowan, Understanding Power by Noam Chomsky. Yes Man by Danny Wallace. (One of the best books I've ever read, cheers Ad), Neitzsche (Trying to anyway...)

Heroes:

Greg graffin, Shane MacGowan and Duncan Redmonds of Snuff. Also Larry David.

My Blog

Scrutiny

Um, I got new maps of Hell, the new Bad Religion album (yes, the bad way Ry) by downloading it off of soulseek a whole 2 weeks before release. Anyway, the song Scrutiny provoked me to write a new blog...
Posted by Jarv on Sun, 24 Jun 2007 01:51:00 PST

Fun song.

This is a song Ted and I made up over msn, it's called the bodily functions song. enjoy... bodily functions, bodily functions lets all go and do bodily functions boners popping, ass errupti...
Posted by Jarv on Fri, 17 Feb 2006 04:44:00 PST

Dream

Right, I just woke from a wierd dream. Me, Rhwn and Kal Young for some reason were in an abandoned school at night dressed as ghost busters. I think the cast of charachters kept changing, but us ...
Posted by Jarv on Wed, 09 Nov 2005 12:15:00 PST

Halloween 2005

Halloween. Yeah, Savoy on the Saturday, was a bit shit, got my tooth chipped by some cunt who knocked the beer bottle I was drinking into my face. Worked Sunday, joy. Then went to tros dressed as a be...
Posted by Jarv on Thu, 03 Nov 2005 10:31:00 PST

27/10/2005

My most favourite thing is being dragged backwards along the floor into a puddle of piss with a Hitler tasche painted on with eye liner. Probably. There's fake tan on the back of my hand. It looks lik...
Posted by Jarv on Thu, 27 Oct 2005 02:48:00 PST

Fucks sake

That last post got deleted when I went to post it the first time and I couldn't recover it so had to type it all again. Why did I waste all that time typing it out again. I could've been doing new stu...
Posted by Jarv on Thu, 20 Oct 2005 07:07:00 PST

20/10/05

Woke up hungover this morning in Tom's house with a gammy throat. Went downstairs. Spat some flem in the sink. Went to pour some juice but it was no added sugar, which is shit, so poured some pepsi in...
Posted by Jarv on Thu, 20 Oct 2005 07:02:00 PST

19/10/05

Yeah, went to Metros last night. The 19th of October. Not unlike any other Wednesday. Anyways, drunk lots of whiskey and coke and a few bottles of XXXX. Last week I was proud of giving ...
Posted by Jarv on Thu, 20 Oct 2005 05:37:00 PST

Blog?

So yeah, Let's start a blog so I can document this inane existence of mine. So one day I can look back and think '...?' Let's thrown in a few smilies  ...
Posted by Jarv on Thu, 13 Oct 2005 06:38:00 PST