blue diamonds profile picture

blue diamonds

sad weiner chewing gum.

About Me

I'm a golfer, by day. By night, I sell my body on the streets for various needle drugs and rare parasitic twin pornography. I like diet cola and koala bears. I like to diet, and drink beer. Light beer. Made in a brewery by very thin koala bears. Also, I don't read. Or write. That's for girls who aren't pretty enough. Oh, and one last thing: I'm in mensa. Or, wait, no...I'm just menstruating.


My Interests

http://www.flickr.com/photos/allyoucaneatscrimp/ is the link to my flickr account. enjoy.

I'd like to meet:

Friendly Advice to a Lot of Young Men: Go to Tibet. Ride a camel. Read the bible. Dye your shoes blue. Grow a beard. Circle the world in a paper canoe. Subscribe to the Saturday Evening Post. Chew on the left side of your mouth only. Marry a woman with one leg and shave with a straight razor. And carve your name in her arm. Brush your teeth with gasoline. Sleep all day and climb trees at night. Be a monk and drink buckshot and beer. Hold your head under water and play the violin. Do a belly dance before pink candles. Kill your dog. Run for Mayor. Live in barrel. Break your head with a hatchet. Plant tulips in the rain. But don't write poetry.

Music:

old blues (robert johnson, son house, muddy waters, ella fitzgerald, billie holliday) old rock (johnny thunders, etc) old folk, old folks singing, i like lo-fi, urgent sounding things: daniel johnston, early mountain goats, early modest mouse, early music, music early in the morning, music i can mourn to in the wee hours of sunlight, etc. i like journey, and rush, and supertramp. the zombies were cool. i like old gospel blues. i'm the same as everyone else, i think.

Movies:

pootie tang.

Television:

Sam: What am I going to say to Cindy? Bill: Don’t say anything — be dominant. It’s all, all about dominance. I saw this monkey show on PBS. If you talk to her first it’s a sign of weakness and she will not pick you to be her mate. Sam: Are you drunk? Bill: I think so, yes I am. Sam: Aw man, go into my room, lock the door and don’t drink anymore. Bill: That’s very dominant.

Books:

lorrie moore, mark twain, dave eggers, george orwell, chuck paliunuhk, ayn rand, charles bukowski, tom robbins, haruki murakami, isaac asimov, milan kundera, david sedaris, ray bradburry, faulkner, j.d. salinger, john henry toole (RIP fo sho my nigs)

My Blog

A day in the life....

9:07 AM: wake up.  groan.  ponder kicking your legs like an infant, at the prospect of getting out of bed and getting on the toilet.  on your way, open the drawer on the left, under the...
Posted by blue diamonds on Tue, 22 Jan 2008 12:23:00 PST

I was born in the wagon of a traveling show...

    So I have a Zune. Not an iphone.  Not even an ipod.  A Zune. Some people make mistakes in life, ok? It's on shuffle, and I keep getting the most amazing songs.  Mr. B...
Posted by blue diamonds on Sat, 30 Jun 2007 06:47:00 PST

year in review: what has happened (inspired by robbie, who will never read this)

Top things that make me happy this year:-mustafaa being pleased with early 90's pop culture references (apparently we are not too young for nostalgia)-jason coming over and laughing.-meggo, haliday, a...
Posted by blue diamonds on Tue, 26 Dec 2006 08:24:00 PST

update: where i am

hello friends, family, and fellow recovering myspace addicts!  it is i, heather, beloved friend to roughly 1600 people, here to update those who are interested in what i have been doing with my t...
Posted by blue diamonds on Thu, 07 Sep 2006 08:46:00 PST

my birthday (what i want)

homeostasisa clean housea new digital cameramore smiles around the housethis book, and the accompanying ingredientsbrother's quay dvd (the guy who showed me this was cool, but lame.  at least he ...
Posted by blue diamonds on Sun, 02 Jul 2006 05:42:00 PST

so im leaving....

on a jet plane. time for a break. lost my car. lost my job. and i've fucked up everything.EDIT:    I HAFTA WAIT FOR A CAR.  FUCK THE CITY....
Posted by blue diamonds on Mon, 12 Jun 2006 08:24:00 PST

i don't need:/what i do need:

what i don't need:(laundry mixing)(to be sad/confused)(crazy people)(a sore throat)(to sleep all day)what i do need:(a job)(a hot boy)(food)(beer)(this is what i got when i google-imaged inspiration.&...
Posted by blue diamonds on Sat, 10 Jun 2006 04:48:00 PST

MY HONOR/KIDDIE POOL/MAIN MAN/ETC

MAIN MAN MARK for those of you who live in midtown, i'm sure you know main man mark, the most awesome homeless dude ever.  last week, i woke up hungover.  big surprise to everyone, i'm sure...
Posted by blue diamonds on Sun, 21 May 2006 12:37:00 PST

FUZZIES!!! and why im fucked.

pt.1  pt2.I'm a dumbass.  My car was towed while I was at the gay bar.  I've been hungover all day.  I sort of kind of like a boy who isn't calling me.  And now I'll...
Posted by blue diamonds on Tue, 09 May 2006 08:42:00 PST

opinions were like kittens we were giving them away.

i look forward to things that will never exist. i count my chickens before they hatch. i lie and tell people i'm happy, when im not. i used to always want to be left alone. and now it sort of stin...
Posted by blue diamonds on Fri, 28 Apr 2006 10:04:00 PST