vi†us [H][F][D]

"One day men will look back and say i gave birth to the twentieth century." - Jack The Ripper 1888
"Im a modern man, a man for the millennium. Digital and smoke free. A diversified multi-cultural, post-modern deconstruction that is anatomically and ecologically incorrect. Ive been up linked and downloaded, Ive been inputted and outsourced, I know the upside of downsizing, I know the downside of upgrading. Im a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond!
Im new wave, but Im old school and my inner child is outward bound. Im a hot-wired, heat seeking, warm-hearted cool customer, voice activated and bio-degradable. I interface with my database, my database is in cyberspace, so Im interactive, Im hyperactive and from time to time Im radioactive.
Behind the eight ball, ahead of the curve, ridin the wave, dodgin the bullet and pushin the envelope. Im on-point, on-task, on-message and off drugs. Ive got no need for coke and speed. I've got no urge to binge and purge. Im in-the-moment, on-the-edge, over-the-top and under-the-radar. A high-concept, low-profile, medium-range ballistic missionary. A street-wise smart bomb. A top-gun bottom feeder. I wear power ties, I tell power lies, I take power naps and run victory laps. Im a totally ongoing big-foot, slam-dunk, rainmaker with a pro-active outreach. A raging workaholic. A working rageaholic. Out of rehab and in denial!
Ive got a personal trainer, a personal shopper, a personal assistant and a personal agenda. You cant shut me up. You cant dumb me down because Im tireless and Im wireless, Im an alpha male on beta-blockers.
Im a non-believer and an over-achiever, laid-back but fashion-forward. Up-front, down-home, low-rent, high-maintenance. Super-sized, long-lasting, high-definition, fast-acting, oven-ready and built-to-last! Im a hands-on, foot-loose, knee-jerk head case pretty maturely post-traumatic and Ive got a love-child that sends me hate mail.
But, Im feeling, Im caring, Im healing, Im sharing-- a supportive, bonding, nurturing primary care-giver. My output is down, but my income is up. I took a short position on the long bond and my revenue stream has its own cash-flow. I read junk mail, I eat junk food, I buy junk bonds and I watch trash sports! Im gender specific, capital intensive, user-friendly and lactose intolerant.
I like rough sex. I like tough love. I use the F word in my emails and the software on my hard-drive is hardcore--no soft porn.
I bought a microwave at a mini-mall; I bought a mini-van at a mega-store. I eat fast-food in the slow lane. Im toll-free, bite-sized, ready-to-wear and I come in all sizes. A fully-equipped, factory-authorized, hospital-tested, clinically-proven, scientifically- formulated medical miracle. Ive been pre-wash, pre-cooked, pre-heated, pre-screened, pre-approved, pre-packaged, post-dated, freeze-dried, double-wrapped, vacuum-packed and, I have an unlimited broadband capacity.
Im a rude dude, but Im the real deal. Lean and mean! Cocked, locked and ready-to-rock. Rough, tough and hard to bluff. I take it slow, I go with the flow, I ride with the tide. Ive got glide in my stride. Drivin and movin, sailin and spinin, jiving and groovin, wailin and winnin. I dont snooze, so I dont lose. I keep the pedal to the metal and the rubber on the road. I party hearty and lunch time is crunch time. Im hangin in, there aint no doubt and Im hangin tough, over and out!" - George Carlin