Aaron John profile picture

Aaron John

Here's to swimming with bow legged women.

About Me

I take great pleasure in breathing compressed air with an abnormally high amount of oxygen content, usually between 32% to 36%. My .60 low A string is bigger than yours, though mine tends to stay rather floppy. Grey .73mm nylon picks make me happy, at least until I drop them on stage where they de-materialize. I wear purple shoes when climbing fake mountain walls inside buildings. I also used to wear jewelry. Budweiser in a bottle tastes like bannanas sometimes to me. Drinking exacerbates my tinnitus. Your awful band also exacerbates my tinnitus, so no, I don't want to add you. Trust me, you probably wouldn't like my band either. Phycology enthralls me. I can hear an ocean fog horn from my bedroom window. Every pair of shoes I own have sand in them.

Giant Squid live at Emo's with ISIS, September 13

Add to My Profile | More Videos

I've played bass, guitar, drums, trumpet, theremin, banjo, synthesizer, and sang in bands since I was 13. Some of these were The Retards, Eggs in Your Face, The Pedestrians, The Connection, Beyond All Hope, Koi, Angoramachinegun, Namor, Secret Six, Spider Legs, One Eyed Doll, Worm Feast, and Giant Squid (the video above). Someday, I would like to learn how to really play just one of those instruments. Till then I'll keep faking it.

For a couple of years I owned a tropical fish store in Sacramento called O St. Aquarium, on O and 30th, and was very, very happy.


The shop is still there, so go visit and see the big shark tank that we used to drunkenly throw feeder fish in to late at night after band practice.

I'm a PADI certified Rescue SCUBA Diver and Dive Master canidate, so I could give you mouth to mouth under water.

I'm training again in Brazilian Jui-Jitsu under world champion, Cassio Werneck, in Carmichael, CA. I usually walk away feeling like Optimus Prime just made angry love with me. Ah yes, eternal soreness.

I have a tattoo of a muscular man wearing nothing but a fish-scale speedo. When I flex, his pelvis thrusts with confidence. Like him, my powers start to fade when I'm away from water for too long. I should have been born with gills.

My Interests

Music. Bar chords. Drawings of people in flamboyant spandex attire. Sequential art and story telling. Rafting drunk at night. SCUBA diving and underwater videography, especially in bizarre locales like rivers and lakes, though I don't really have a dive buddy anymore. Who wants to go?
SAAB, like the 71' below, which I just bought in San Diego and attempted to drive all the way back. I ended up spending my evening in a Santa Barbara motel room, and taking a nine hour train ride back home the next day. The car is still in Santa Barbara. That's not me in the video.

Brazillian Jui-Jitsu, MMA, indoor rock climbing/bouldering, getting tattooed, playing Matamp, Orange, and Fender amplifiers with Gibson and Rickenbacker guitars, beer, whiskey, gawking at hipster girls in the mission, walking the halls of San Francisco art museums over and over again, tropical fish and aquariums - just don't fucking ask me for any advice about yours (See my Giant Aaron profile), anything oceanic and nautical in nature - I know way more about sharks than you do.

I'd like to meet:

Stan Lee, Frank Miller, Alan Moore, Sam Kieth, Mark Millar, Len Wein, Greg Morrison, Michael Bendis, David Finch, Barry Windsor-Smith, Jeph Loeb, Joss Whedon, Chris Claremont, Robert Kirkman, Alex Ross, Jim Lee, Geoff Darrow, Katshiro Otomo, Hideo Kojima, Wes Anderson, Aaron Turner, Dave Atell, Bill Murray, Steve Martin, Akemi.

Music:

The Advantage, Acid King, Ahab, Amber Asylum, Angoramachinegun, At The Gates, Asunder, Adolescents, Bee and Flower, Beyond All Hope, Black Heart Procession, Black Sabbath, Black Flag, Black Bear, Black Fork, Blessing The Hogs, Blonde Redhead, Built To Spill, Bridges, Burnt By The Sun, Bongzilla, Jeff Buckley, Botch, Cardinale, Cattle Decapitation, Citizen Fish, Conflict, Crisis, Cradle Of Filth, Culture Shock, The Cure, Dead Kennedys, Dead and Gone, Dead Can Dance, Dark Funreal, Devil Makes Three, Diseptikons, Earth, The Evens, Exit The King, F.Y.P., Frank Jordan, Fugazi, Frienemies, Grails, The Gathering, Grayceon, Goblin, His Hero Is Gone, High On Fire, Invincible Czars, ISIS Jesu, Kiss It Goodbye, Kylesa, Low, Ludicra, Las Pesadillas, Lesdydstics, Lions of Tsavo, Low Flying Owls, The Locust, Lush, Mastodon, Mare, Minor Threat, Made Out Of Babies, The Make-Up, Men Of Porn, Mister Metaphor, Mogwai, MUSE Morrissey, Nation Of Ulyses, NEUROSIS Nirvana, Om, Old Crow Medicine Show, Orange Goblin, Old Man Gloom, Pearls and Brass, Pleasure Forever, Radiohead, Red Sparrowes, Red Tape, Shapes of Despair, Sepultura, SIGUR ROS Sleep, Steve Von Till, Stereo Lab, Spider Silk Dress, Scott Kelly, Stolen Babies, Struggle, Smiths, The Sword, Swims, Swans, Sunn, SUBHUMANSSun0))), Pelican, Pixies, Portishead, Pleasure Forever, Tarantula Hawk, Tarentel, TERA MELOS These Arms Are Snakes, Triclops, Two Ton Boa, Ulver, Union Of The Snake, Gillian Welch, Walken, Watching the Moon, Yob, Young Aundee, Za'atar, Zeni Geva, Zombie

Movies:

Below is one of the most brilliant scenes ever filmed in cinema.

Spielberg, George Romero, Lucio Fulci, Katshiro Otomo, Dario Argento, Chris Nolan, Bryan Singer, Hitchcock, Ridley Scott, Jean Pierre Jeunet, Tarantino, John Carpenter, Hayao Miyazaki, Tim Burton, Robert Rodriguez, Toho Studios, Monty Python, Wes Anderson, Sam Raimi, Peter Jackson.

People give a lot of much deserved credit to Superman II, but personally, I think Superman III is pure fucking genius.

Television:

South Park, Venture Brothers, Carnivale, Firefly, Ultimate Fighter, Lost, Family Guy, Miami Ink, Arrested Development, Smallville, Monster House, Monster Garage, Bullshit, Shark Week, weird TLC shows, gay HGTV shows, Justice League, Batman/Superman Animated Series, Max Fleischer Superman Cartoons, Original Incredible Hulk show, The Maxx (Old School Liquid Television), The Tick (live action - funniest show ever), Adult Swim, Original Johhny Quest.

Books:

Jaws, Moby Dick, Scar Tissue - Anthony Kiedis autobiography, The Dirt - Motley Crue autobiography, Close to Shore. I just read Dances with Wolves, so what? It ruled. Al Franken - Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them, Art Of Modern Rock.Lots of Graphic Novels: The Watchmen, Swamp Thing, Sin City, The Walking Dead, Hard Boiled, Iron Fist, Detective Comics, New Avengers, Ronin, Maus, Secret Wars, Scratch, Moon Knight, Ojo, Daredevil, Justice, Wolverine, Kingdom Come, Astonishing X-men, The Dark Knight Returns, DK2, 300, All Star Batman and Robin - The Boy Wonder.

Heroes:

My recently departed father, my incredible mother who is made of adamantium, my beautiful sister Mandi, my brilliant Aunt Pat, my cousins Ian and Adam, my recently departed Grandmother, my surviving Grandmother, Billy Anderson, Kamau Bell, Dick Lucas, Cassio Werneck, Paul Imagine, Frank Miller, Sam Kieth, Joss Whedon, Bob Kane, Len Wein, Aaron Turner.

My Blog

JAWS and karma.

"Wait a minute," he said, putting the cutters back in his pocket and taking out his Knife. "Watch this. This always gives the folks a boot." Holding the leader in his left hand, he hoisted most of the...
Posted by Aaron John on Tue, 07 Nov 2006 05:30:00 PST