DangerDodger - ProfilesArchive

About Me

Well first off i am a self-employed person that works for the acme toy company, confused yet? I didn't think so, you must be smart. Anywho, i really dont have any other ambition than to see what type of nonsensicle garbage i can fit into this box. okay now onto what i do for fun, first off i build catapaults large enough to launch pigs, simply so when i see them screeching across the moonlit nights sky i can cheesily say to my buddy, "hahaha that pig flew". Christ that was stupid, are you still here reading this? i have one question that is also one word and is also one letter of the alphabet(and surprisingly one syllable as well). WHY!!! Ill tell you why, because you are the sickos that laugh at the worlds mentally and phsyically ill. In layman's terms, "retards" i bet the word itself has you giggling like a lil boy that found the stack of playboys under his dads bed at the age of 8 and became horribly addicted to masturbation(so sad so sad). You sicken me you retard hating, masturbation loving, soccer playing, yuppie assault vehicle driving(aka. SUVS), uninspired waste of human existence. Well now that thats off my chest and i have now insulted you for no reason, i do humbly apologize for that by the way. lets learn a lil bit about me shall we. i am the most motivated lazy person you will ever meet, and i play guitar all the time too. Im looking for a new band by the way. But please no punk bands, punk sucks get over it, its for speed freaks and irish drunkards. I spend alot of my time with mybest-friend Sean, hanging out smoking some "hydro to get the eyes low"(a cool as hillbilly named "Douuug" once said that)Well that is enough typing for the moment.

My Interests

Playing Guitar, hanging out, drinking, smoking ya know all the usuals. I also enjoy striking out with the ladies, thats a hobby very dear to my heart. And reading is okay because one day id like to read on a 3rd grade level.

I'd like to meet:

Sasquatch, and no i dont mean you women that look like sasquatch, ,stay away from me uglies(sad part is that comment makes me ugly on the inside and thats what counts right?) And the guy thought up the idea for tickle me elmo or any other elmo product that shrieks, barks, wheezes, laughs, cries, shouts, whispers, and even fucking moves, and have him sit down in a chair for 3 days while elmo, william hung, and barbra streisand sing him heavily melodic duops, in front of the 9th bolge of hell.

Music:

Metal, but not limited to just that, i am fairly open minded, i own a few classicals cd's, a few hip-hop, classic rock, some traditional folk music from around the globe, especially middle eastern themed music, plus belly dancing is hot, all girls that belly dance i honesly love, and i am not just saying that. My favorite bands though are metal, Necrophagist(everyone should own one of there cd's crazy good guitar solo's), Slipknot, Pantera, Dimmu Borgir, Cradle or Filth, Old Man's Child, Hatebreed, Unearth, Devil Driver, Deicide, Avenged Sevenfold, Chimaira, Cryptopsy, The Haunted, Slayer, Symphony-X(another band everyone shoould listen too), Into Eternity, and of course the great Yngwie J. "fucking" Malmsteen.

Movies:

The Exorcist, because for no real reason at all i just really like possession movies and this one is the pinnacle of the sub-genre. The Boondocks Saints ruled more than a measuring stick.

Books:

Anything by Clive Barker and Michael Crichton will usually tickle my fancy just in the right spot of the noggin. "Jesus and the Lost Goddess", by Freke and Gandy(good read for anyone struggling to find out what the bible really has to say.) And last but not least i find the back of a cereal box to be good reading.

Heroes:

The man that invented E-Z Cheese, for making something with less integrity than i am capable of possessing. Dimebag Darrel(RIP!!). Bill Clinton for literally pimping nationwide.(pimps up ho's down)