chaotic. profile picture

chaotic.

i finally found someone to take away the heartache ..

About Me

reasons i will NOT add someone:

    you have 20 million friends.you have the words "no men"
    ANYWHERE on your profile.your pictures are totally distasteful.if all of the people on your top
    friends list are questionable.your zodiac sign is CANCER.
    (yeah, it sounds lame -
    but i am dead SERIOUS.)you're male.
    (the exception to this is: if i KNOW you
    or talk to you through email and
    you aren't a stupid pig.)
  • i don't add just anyone.
    deal with it.

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    I'd like to meet:

    she is
    my personal fetish

    Music:

    one of my goddesses.more goddessesi wish you were a stranger i could disengage.my favorite cds

    Myspace Layouts

    Movies:

    words don't matter .. they don't matter at all.my favorite movies
    i'm still an angel to the girl who hates to sin.kind of womanTemptation falls in your path
    No hesitation why you ask
    You have another waiting at home
    And yes she matters to you
    Kind of woman that'll haunt you
    Kind of woman that'll haunt you
    She matters to you
    Kind of woman that'll haunt you
    She matters to you
    You didn't mean to meet her you cry
    Oh but the sun goes down every night
    She came to you when you were alone
    And yes she matters to you
    Kind of woman that'll haunt you
    Kind of woman that'll haunt you
    She matters to you
    I promised myself...a long time ago
    It would be difficult to let you go
    If not at least within
    The touch of my fingers-
    It was close to being
    In heaven
    Kind of woman that'll haunt you
    To being in heaven
    Kind of woman that'll haunt you
    Is to be...in heaven
    Kind of woman that'll haunt you
    I know I know

    Television:

    i want to be a chameleon, baby .. i want to chaaange colors.my favorite t.v. shows
    she told me never follow , so i won't.i will never for the life of me understand why certain people come into my life. i get completely caught up in the rapture of it all. oh, look .. a new person to analyze .. to contemplate .. to study. in the whirlwind of this, i seem to lose myself. i find people and relationships so vastly intriguing. i also tend to get quite bored with myself, as a result. i have reached my depths .. but myself alone. there have been many people who have claimed over the years to know me so well. i have never actually bought into it for a minute. i, for one, know that there is no possible way of understanding who anyone else is .. because of the simple fact that we spend our entire lives trying to figure out who WE are. it's easy to get lost within ourselves .. it is, however, much easier to get lost in others. the gravity is .. without others, we all feel somewhat incomplete. i have heard many people say to me that "they don't need anyone." the truth is, we all need someone. it's human nature. we are all born with an instant dependence on another person .. our mother. that feeling of dependence is not an easy one to shake. and however hard we may try to break out and free ourselves from that need, should we succeed .. how long will it last?
    not very long, i suspect. my mother is the independence poster child. i grew up in that shadow .. seeing the many loves of her life sparkle in and slowly fade out. however, what was always exceedingly interesting was how much dependence she inspired in others. she was .. and remains to be .. the venomous poison that seeps into your veins and refuses to detoxify. i have a lot of that within myself, i think. i have always thought myself to be somewhat intense and unnerving at times .. and once i have you in my grasp, it is not easy to escape. it's a terrifying thing to realize about yourself. it's equally terrifying to others who realize it, as well. it is a gift, or a curse, to arouse the best and worst in people.
    do i make you feel alive? i can make you feel anything you want to feel .. just show me who you want to be, and i'll let you see that reflection of yourself, mirrored off of me.

    Books:

    when's the last time you had YOUR nicks fix? CLICK HERE.

    Heroes:

    when's the last time you had YOUR nicks fix? CLICK HERE.Stevie Nicks."The best question for any crystal-gazer might be: Is the future worth the past?" - Stevie Nicks

    My Blog

    tangent: read at your own risk, lol ..

    my breathing is sometimes shallow, my heart is often heavy. my life this passed two months has been chaotic. i feel as if i've climbed so far up .. and i'm just waiting for everything to crumble benea...
    Posted by chaotic. on Fri, 25 May 2007 10:36:00 PST

    oh, and ..

    the next person who complains about their position on my top friends list .. is getting deleted. grow up and be glad you're even on there.
    Posted by chaotic. on Mon, 21 May 2007 01:41:00 PST

    whoever you are ..

    you better take quick leave out of my life, because when i find out who you are - you're going to get a nice, big piece of my mind. i don't play into that bullshit. just goes to show that it was never...
    Posted by chaotic. on Mon, 21 May 2007 01:40:00 PST

    and ..

    ..> DILANA May 10, 2007 7:55 PMMarry you??!! Aren't you already taken? Thanx for the love you sweet thang! xxooxx ..>...
    Posted by chaotic. on Fri, 11 May 2007 10:44:00 PST

    HOLY MOTHER FUCKING SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!

    ..> DILANA May 10, 2007 7:48 PM A Fleetwood Mac fan too? Ur gorgeous! xx Delete..>OMFG I JUST FUCKING CREAMED MYSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...
    Posted by chaotic. on Fri, 11 May 2007 10:23:00 PST

    crucify ..

    you cannot crucify a leo for the following offenses: *self confidence.*wanting attention and praise.*a flirtatious personality. it is in their nature. miss tantrum - back me up on this one....
    Posted by chaotic. on Wed, 09 May 2007 11:05:00 PST

    flames to dust ..

    Better Than Me lyrics by Hinder.I think you can do much better than me After all the lies I made you believe Guilt kicks in and I start to see The edge of the bed Where your nightgown used to be ...
    Posted by chaotic. on Mon, 30 Apr 2007 05:08:00 PST

    i must look like a doormat ..

    and i feel like one a lot, too. but let me tell you .. stick a fork in me - i'm done. i may be sprawled across the floor, limp and lifeless. yeah, that girl IS me. that doesn't mean you can wipe your ...
    Posted by chaotic. on Thu, 26 Apr 2007 05:08:00 PST

    old habits die hard ..

    back to the place where it all began. every misstep i've ever taken was taken there. ashes to ashes .. i've told myself a million times that i have to forget the past. a lot of people will tell me i s...
    Posted by chaotic. on Tue, 24 Apr 2007 09:25:00 PST

    word.

    it kills me not to have that " .. " and just the one period at the end of this blog title, just so you know. words are so important. i hear a lot of people say "actions speak louder than words." well,...
    Posted by chaotic. on Fri, 20 Apr 2007 10:54:00 PST