KeightLand - ProfilesArchive

About Me

I think that Baywatch girls are hot and just like them I like to run. I usually do it in running shoes and a sports bra (and a few other articles of clothing) up in the hills though so I probably look a hell of a lot hotter than them.
So I'm this chick (or dude) - take your pick- that lives in Hollywood, hates traffic, can't wait to get out of this congested city, but still thinks it's an absolute blast compared to Denver! I also like long walks on the beach, dead roses, cheese, coffee, and procrastination. I'm a sucker for wheat beers and red wine and love combining the two with Guitar Hero. Who wants to go to Disneyland?
"Life is tough, get a helmet." - Jennifer Aniston
"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza." - Dave Barry
"Monkeys are superior to men in this: when a monkey looks into a mirror, he sees a monkey." - Malcolm De Chazal
See more funny videos at CollegeHumor

My Interests

"Life isn't measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away"

I like pizza, nachos, sushi, St. Patty's Day, Absolut ads, animals, big movie billboards, sky scrapers, swing sets, bagels and lox, rock climbing, hiking and running the hills, drawing, showers, gymnastics, books, skydiving, the beach, snorkeling, movies, ice cold beer, palm trees, laughing, videogames, Calvin and Hobbes, pitchers and pool at DTB, school, going out to breakfast, random decisions, music, art museums, punching bags, and roller coasters!

I'd like to meet:

Me, myself, and your mom. I wouldn't mind meeting Ellen Page or Christian Bale either.

Music:

Tool! A Perfect Circle, Chevelle, The Killers, My Chemical Romance, Snow Patrol, Muse, Poison, Social Distortion, Pepper, Unwritten Law, The Used, Finger Eleven, Seether, Offspring, Our Lady Peace, A.F.I., VNV Nation, Sevendust, Incubus, The Ataris, Sublime, Orgy, and Green Day just to name a few. Basically...all sorts of rock and some Industrial & Electronica. Love a lot of the good classics (from every decade), some techno/trance & alternative, and I'm a sucker for catchy songs regardless of genre.

Movies:

The Matrix, Transformers, Stardust, Borat, Monty Python movies, Inside Man, Fight Club, Confidence, Fracture, The Silence of the Lambs, Juno, Casino Royale, Die Hard, Live Free or Die Hard, Boondock Saints, Blade Runner, Pirates of the Caribbean, The Fifth Element, SIN CITY, Resident Evil,Tarantino's stuff, Indiana Jones Trilogy, V for Vendetta, Arnie movies, The Goonies, Dark City, The Incredibles, Team America, Guy Richie films, Marvel movies, and movies with total mindfuck endings...and so many more.

Television:

"How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?" - Homer Simpson

I like to watch The Office, Top Chef, Heroes, Simpsons, Family Guy, South Park, Gargoyles, Friends, Two and a Half Men, Buffy, Tom & Jerry, and Looney Toons...though I really don't get to watch too much anymore. Hooray for TV shows on DVD!

Books:

Illiterate. However, when I have the time I enjoy looking at the pictures in works by Gibson, Stephenson, Gaiman (especially The Sandman), the Harry Potter series, "Letter to a Christian Nation" by Sam Harris, Adams' Hitchhiker's Trilogy, Dean Koontz, Tom Robbins, Charlaine Harris, Christopher Moore, Jay Asher, and Poe. Also...Dr. Seuss and Lemony Snicket ;) Currently reading Brooks' "World War Z," Gaiman's "American Gods" and Harris' "The Silence of the Lambs." The Pictures inside are very cool. Just finished JAY ASHER'S "13 Reasons Why," YOU SHOULD READ IT TOO!

Heroes:

Maynard, James Black, Giger, Bruce Willis, Chris Redfield, Jason Statham, Alan Rickman, and Clive Owen. Why? No particular reason they're just cool. My niece and nephew are also my heroes because they can still poop their pants and get away with it!

..
.. My Nephew is better looking than your nephew.

..
.. I'm pretty sure my niece is too.

My Blog

"Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?"

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways , but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less.We have big...
Posted by KeightLand on Mon, 23 Jun 2008 02:31:00 PST

My Book Sales Are Going to Beat Harry Potter!

So I've had this dream at least three times now in the past couple of weeks...I'm in an upper level English Lit class with a professor I had at Cal Poly (Bane?) and have no idea what's going on. I hat...
Posted by KeightLand on Mon, 24 Sep 2007 11:41:00 PST

Looks Like Ill Be Eating A Hell of A Lot More Bread

So I've decided to analyze my diet from now on. No I'm not incredibly obsessed with my weight or anything, but I do need to shape up so that I'm a believable personal trainer and being a nutrition/kin...
Posted by KeightLand on Sat, 22 Sep 2007 10:40:00 PST

My name is Chev Chelios, and todays the day that I die.

So I went to a vegan cafe yesterday...I've been wanting to try it for a while. My brother told me that only hippies go there and he wouldn't go with me. After about 10 minutes there I realized I was s...
Posted by KeightLand on Thu, 28 Jun 2007 11:56:00 PST

Chimay!

I love going to Spike's with Chris. Amanda is fucking awesome and my Chimay comes in a sweet glass. MMMMMMmmmm. It is also a good place to play pictionary with nothing but a ball point pen. Tobasco ta...
Posted by KeightLand on Sat, 27 May 2006 02:32:00 PST

The Break Up Letter

So I've seen this posted by so many people over the last year and of course I posted it a while ago as well. But it's so good that I decided it needed it's own blog. The 1st part is a girl's apology e...
Posted by KeightLand on Wed, 24 May 2006 12:26:00 PST

Date Rape!

Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties and local pubs to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink from any woman. Many females use a date rape drug on the market called "Beer."T...
Posted by KeightLand on Sun, 22 Jan 2006 01:00:00 PST

SATURDAY NIGHT

So I didn't feel like going out on Saturday night...surprising! My buddy calls me up to see what I'm doing and I told him that I was watching Army of Darkness with my kitty and he let me know that he ...
Posted by KeightLand on Tue, 16 Aug 2005 11:29:00 PST

Boyle's Law

The following is supposedly an actual question given on a university chemistry exam. The answer by one student was so profound that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, whic...
Posted by KeightLand on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Care and Feeding of Rabbits

A precious little girl walks into a pet shop looking for a Christmas gift and asks in the sweetest little lisp between two missing teeth, "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?" ...
Posted by KeightLand on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST