Domestic Violence

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THESE ARE THE THOUGHTS AND STORIES OF MYSPACE..REAL LIFE PEOPLE JUST LIKE US...

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Well if you are looking for a comment on Domestic Violence You have come to the right place. I too am a Domestic Violence survivor. My son's father was also a controlling violent manipulator. He held me against my will many times, the same symptoms - ripping out the phone jacks, breaking cell phones, taking my keys,taking my money, blocking the door. And when I tried to escape he would run me down at the speed of a cheetah tackled me and hold his hand over my mouth saying "you're not going no where." Yes, he choked me, slapped me and finally hit me like a real man. Fractured my nose and gave me a bright blue mark on my eye - while I too - was holding my infant - who was only two weeks old. But there is the answer right there - I realized although I might have not had enough love for myself to make myself leave - I knew I loved my baby enough to leave. My son's father used the lines on me "do you want your son not to have a father?" "do you want your son's father in jail?" I thought to myself - better not to have a father then a father like this one. What type of example would he be for my child? Do i want my son to be a woman beater like his father? Because that is what he will become if he watches this growing up. Would I want to unleash another heartless, controlling, aggressive male into the world? Or do I want to raise my son up to be a good man - a man that woman are thankful for. A man that women will thank me for. Do I want any other poor girl to experience this injury by my son? Will i be able to look her in the face? It is OUR responsibility as WOMEN to raise these men to respect other women. To show our sons that a woman doesn't deserve to be beaten - because by example we show our children - how to stand up for what is right, how to treat others and how to treat themselves. And our daughters - do we want to see our daughters get beat by some man? Because if we stay in these situations - we show them that it is okay. Girls who watch there mother get beat are much more likely to let themselves get beat. We are the ones that mold them and show them - what is love, what is an intimate relationship, and even how we love our own self. We must love ourselves women. And this story can go on - I can write a book on this subject. In fact I almost did. But I just want to say a few things...................................................... ................................... 1) No one ever deserves to be beaten...................................................... ................................... 2) You are a free human being - and no one has the right to control you - especially if your are a grown woman....................................................... ................................... 3) Love is not an excuse for violence.................................................... ................................... 4) You are not the first and you wont be the last woman he beats - No matter what he tells you!........................................................ ................................... 5) You have a responsibility to your children above all else,witnessing domestic violence has been scientifically proven to be linked to - PTSD, Anxiety, Depression, ADHD, and conduct disorder in children as well as an increased chance for them to be perpetrators or victims of domestic violence.................................................... ................................... 6) You have a responsibility to yourself - to love yourself enough to leave - no matter how much it hurts - you will get over it.......................................................... ...................................... 7) Don't believe the hype - society tries to brain wash people - especially women - into believing we are nothing without someone - you came in this world alone- your going to die alone - no one completes you - you are complete on your own - God or let's say the universe - made you that way - accept yourself and love yourself as a complete and beautiful being -independent in all aspects. Relationships are a part of life - but they are not the meaning of life. 8)Always remember and be conscious that 1/4 women are sexually assaulted at least once in their lifetime and probably almost 1/2 of all women have been the victims of interpersonal violence - do these statistics startle you? We are the last widely accepted and largest population of suppressed people in the world - our sisters in other countries even suffer worse then us - remember them and remember sexism is still everywhere - just turn on MTV or look in the magazines or listen to the many songs on the radio talking about how women can be bought or should i say "hoes" along side of cars and other objects - and we wonder why men don't respect us - women respect yourselves - realize that the same music that you think is funny is what makes men think they are superior over you- women have to look younger, prettier skinnier - and the only thing men need is money- fuck that!!! It's time for women to open up their eyes and realize- what's going on all around them- it's just so hard because it has become so accepted and part of our culture that we cant even see it - so like I said before women - take the blinders off - and don't let any man put his hands on you - one last quote that my grandma always used to tell me and one I made up myself" Once a cheat always a cheat. A cheat is a liar and a liar is a cheat."and I say :" Once a woman beater always a woman beater. And if he's a woman beater he's probably also a cheater!!!"WORDS OF LIFE FROM JNANA..THANK U

Music:

I think it's a great thing that you're trying to raise awareness about domestic violence. I don't think it's talked about enough for people to realize what a problem it is. Maybe they should start teaching girls in school about it and teaching them early that they should never have to live with it. Too many women in abusive relationships are told by their man that it's her fault. After awhile, they start to believe it....."Well if I hadn't done that, he wouldn't have hit me." It's just wrong. No one should have to live with it or blame themselves for it. And I don't think there's enough help out there for battered women. I know there are some shelters out there, and it's better than it used to be, but we can do better. Back in my Grandma's day, when she was being beaten on almost a daily basis, there was nowhere for her to go. She had no one but her 2 kids. She took those beatings for 12 years to keep her kids from being homeless. A single woman with 2 kids couldn't really make it on her own back then. And the police who were "supposed" to protect & serve, wouldn't help them. I guess things are better now than they used to be, but not much. So maybe he spends a night or 2 in jail. That's just gonna piss him off more. And restraining orders are jokes. A little piece of paper isn't gonna do shit to help you if wants to hurt you.My whole life, I was taught that if a man hits you once, he'll do it again. No matter how many apologies or excuses he gives. But on the other side, I can really see why some women stay. My husband and I have been together 9 years and he's never laid a hand on me in that way. But if he ever did, it would still be hard as hell to leave him. But I'd eventually still do it. I've never understood how a man could beat on a woman and still feel good about himself.I didn't mean to make this so long but I have a strong opinion on it. The more people are made aware of it, maybe some lives could be saved. I really hope your friend is doing ok. Lotsa love & God bless!LoriTHANK U LORI..THE REALISTAlthough I personally haven't been through any type of domestic violence, I'll tell you about my parents...My father was abusive with my mom (not with his little girls though) when he was either "too high" or "too drunk". For years my mom took many beatings, and at times would also be kept as a prisoner when he thought she was with other men. To keep her from looking or being around other people he would nail blankets to completely cover the windows and would keep her locked in the house. Then the day came when she must have said, THAT'S IT, and started fighting back. Once she started fighting back things became a lot crazier and scary...some times she would totally lose her mind. I remember a time she stabbed him with a FORK! Another time she was so out of it she tied an extension cord to this beam that went across our living room and tried to hang herself! And it went on...Girl, that's just a small portion of the abuse that my sisters and I had to witness for years until my dad passed away when I was about 9 - he was 36. After that, my mom had her many years of good times but unfortunately, cancer took her from us too soon...she passed away about 7 years ago - she was 43.I've always believed with all my heart that there is NO WAY a person can do such harm to another and it not come back to them one way or another...Tell your girl to keep her head up and stay strong! THANK U JHOMIE..U ALWAYS IN MY HEART

Movies:

First I want to say I feel you. I grew up with a very abusive father. And then passed from one bad relationship to another. But I was/AM very lucky! I turned out a smarter person, (maybe a little screwed up, but hey who isn't?) because of it. I met a WONDERFUL man in 2002 and we married in 2003. I had a daughter from a previous deadbeat. But Alan my Husband has been #1 in her eyes and mine, since we met. Then in 2004 we had a son of our own. And we are loving life. We have our ups and down, trials and everything else but I truly consider myself very lucky. There are still some REAL Men left out there. We just have to have the courage to leave the bad ones to find something better.MRS NIKKI..GOD BLESS U AND THE FAMILY

Television:

freakn tragic. lived w it for years and it was hard as hell to just walk away... not only did it affect me so bad that I'm scared of trusting anyone but my children were exposed to it. my oldest daughter has trust and abandonment issues.. I blame myself for not being strong enough to leave sooner..I hope this little bit helps someone... PANIC..ALL IT TAKES IS A LIL 2 SAVE SOMEONE..XOXOI grew up in a home of domestic violence....I was as young as 2 when I would be woke up in the middle of the night by my brother telling me we were going to go get some pancakes just to keep me distracted by the police standing in the entry way with my dad sitting on the stairs crying and my mother's face bloody from the blows. My mother would always have my father back in our home within weeks and she would tell us it was for the sake of us kids'. My father eventually quit drinking and things were suppose to get better....He promised! We moved to the Lake of the Ozarks when I was turning 12 yrs. old. Slowly but surely, the beatings would start again. He was stressed because work wasn't going well, and so on and so on. It was always something. At this point I had seen my father break my mothers arm in three places, and hold a gun to her head twice. I believe the only reason shit stopped at that point was because I had one of the biggest guys I know come to our house one night and threaten to kill my dad with a baseball bat if he were to ever put his hands on my mother again!!! From this point on though....the tables turned and my mother became the alcoholic and would start the fights with my dad, pushing him to put his hands on her (he never did again, though). They are split now and have been for a few years, but it's amazing how growing up in that environment has affected our family. I had two brothers whom ended up putting their hands on their spouses, and I too have used my fists to get out my anger on the love of my life. I just want any woman to know that it really doesn't matter if they say they are sorry and they'll never do it again...once they have done it once...they WILL do it again. After you've heard it over and over again with the same result, those sorrys' no longer mean a thing. That's when you look at them and say, "I know you're sorry; I would just like an apology!" For those of you that have children, please hear what I am saying to you....The final result of what your children are growing up witnessing is them being a product of their environment...they will do what they learned. And if you have sons who witness this and you are staying in the relationship, they learn that they can do the same thing to their partner because you showed them it was something forgivable. And a daughter will grow up to find the exact same kind of man you had around and think it's okay to have them put their hands on your baby! Is that really what we want of our children? I didn't think so!!! CORI..IT TAKES A STRONG PERSON TO STAND UP FOR WHAT THEY BELIEVE IN..U R THAT ONE..

Books:

Wow, sorry to hear that girl, glad he is where he suppose to be in prison, A good friend of mine was in that same situation, she was with this guy for like 13 to 15 years, they met when she was in high school and he was like 26, grown ass man wasn't able to get a women his own age so he went after a naive high school girl, she grew up without a father, So he was like a father figure/lover to her, she had kids with him and she had 10 years of headache with this guy, Bruises, broken furniture, kids seeing this mess, this dude even disrespected her moms and all...I'm sitting here wondering why she just won't leave, but dude was crazy..stalking her, threats, also he was a big time thief....always was in jail....Finally 3 years ago, she decided to leave, she went back to school, she is going to become a RN, got a nice home, new bf that love and respects her and the kids and even when that bastard tried to interfere her new bf kicked his behind....it was beautiful....It's sad that some men are so damaged and insecure that they take that out on the one they "Love"....Now that bastard is doing a 10 year bid in prison for thievery ....what goes around, comes around....great topic cause it really hits home.....YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL PERSON MS. MYA..LOVE U LADY

Heroes:

wow! I'm right here wit u babe.. the last relationship I