no brain, no headache

i'm a robot. i like to time travel. i enjoy vacationing on Europa. i like planet Earth. i get nostalgic for the kind of nostalgia in which you could just list the things you remember. i wish hating work was a job. i dream in montage form. when the future rolls around i'm totally changing my name to "Admiral Future". i believe in magic. i feel magic is to blame for all problems. i believe when a magician saw's a woman in half...she's meant to stay sawed in half. i blame my war on magicians on the fact that all women arent sawed in half. i ride a magic carpet made of screaming severed baby heads. when i'm bored i yawn like a snake, unhooking my jaw to show the enormity of my ennui. on opening night, i always eat my young. i wish nerds were born with Nerd Manuals so i could learn how to properly make fun of them. once written, i would like to read Nerd Manual. i don't like Nerd-Bots. music is my life, everything else might as well be dirt and mold because i wouldn't notice if it wasn't. i feed off the same pizza for a week. i bust jihads. i wear plastic armor that only comes in size human. i donate money to myself because i rock. i despise the fundamental failure of storytelling. i divide my time between smurfing and smurfing to music. i constantly lose my senses and sense of distinction due to sedation. i don't go to bed...i take six hour naps. i dream of blowing up as much shit as i possibly can within the span of a six hour nap. i believe no matter who you are or where you're from, at least one person out there is four times dumber than you. i'm in awe of glass water and gold sand.