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brian

There's nothing more powerful than an idea whose time has come.

About Me

I could not properly describe myself using my own prose, so I have chosen to use the words of the late, great Woody Guthrie:
I just wanted to tell you that I am a man who likes hard work.
I was born working and I worked my way up by hard work.
I aint ever got no where, but I got there by hard work.
Work of the hardest kind.
I been down and I been out.
I been disgusted I been busted and I couldn't be trusted.
I worked my way up and I worked my way down.
I been drunk and I been sober.
I been baptized and hyjacked.
Worked my way in jail and I worked my way outta jail.
Woke up a lot of mornin's, didnt know where I was at.
The hardest work I ever done was when I was tryin to get myself a worried woman to help ease my worried mind.
I'm gonna tell ya just how much work I had to do to get this woman I was tellin you about.
I shook hands with 97 of her kinfolk and her blood relatives and I done just the same with 86 people who's just her friends and her neighbors.
I kissed 73 babies and put dry pants on 34 of em well as others.
Done this same thing well there are a lot of other things just like this.
I held 125 wild horses and put saddles and bridles on more than that.
Harnessed some of the wildest and craziest teams in that whole country.
I rode 14 loco broncos to a stand still.
And I let 42 hound dogs lick me all over, 7 times I's bit by hungry dogs and I was chewed all to pieces by rattlesnakes and water moccasins on 2 river bottoms.
I chopped and carried 314 arm loads of stove wood.
109 buckets of coal.
Carried a gallon of kerosene 18 miles over the mountains.
Got lost a good pair of shoes in a mudhole.
And I chopped and weeded 48 rows of short cotton.
13 acres of bad corn.
I cut the sticker weeds out of 11 back yards.
All on account of cuz I wanted to show her that I was a man and I liked to work.
I cleaned out 9 barn lofts.
Cranked 31 cars, all makes and models.
Pulled 3 cars out of mud holes, and 4 or 5 out of snow drifts.
I dug 5 cisterns of water for some of her friends.
Run all kinds of errands.
Played the fiddle for 9 church meetin's.
I Joined 11 separate denominations.
I joined up and signed up with 7 best trade unions I could find.
I paid my wages, um, a, dues 6 months in advance.
I waded 48 miles of swamps and 6 big rivers.
Walked across 2 ranges of mountains and crossed 3 deserts.
I got the fever, Sun stroke, Malaria, blue, moonstruck, skeeter bit, Poison Ivy and the 7-year itch and the blind staggers.
I was give up for less, lost and dead a couple of times.
Struck by lightning, struck by Congress, struck by friends and kinfolks well as by 3 cars on highways, a lot of times in peoples hen-houses.
I been hit and run down run over and walked on knocked around.
I'm just sittin' here now tryin to study up what else I can do to show that women that I still ain't afraid of hard work.

My Interests

I like eating vegetables, recycling, thumb wars, pinky swears, high fives, wearing pants, making faces at myself in the mirror, doing things, being places, saying vague things, stuff, certain people, refrigerator haikus, people watching, using apostrophes and the alphabet and alliteration to make sentences, listening to Gram Parsons records, other stuff, things that are beautiful, looking up words like "ribaldry" in the dictionary, cheating by googling clues to finish New York Times crossword puzzles, run on sentences and other things too. I don't like palindromes like "A man, a plan, a canal: Panama." Those freak me out. I'm not a strong bike rider, swimmer or mopper.

I'd like to meet:

Agnes, Agatha, Jermaine, and Jack ... and Biz Markie.

Music:



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Movies:



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Television:

Top Five:

5. Curb Your Enthusiasm
4. Seinfeld
3. Arrested Development
2. Sports Night
1. Six Feet Under

Books:

..

Heroes:

Jake Jabs, Dealin' Doug, Frank Azar and Tom Shane.

My Blog

Things Ive Learned In These Last Couple Days...

I've learned some important life lessons lately:» I have been flossing incorrectly my entire life.» Whole Foods is overrated. Trader Joe's in underrated.» You should never ever ever put beer in the f...
Posted by brian on Wed, 05 Nov 2008 01:36:00 PST

Is Kobe Bryant my Black doppelganger?

I don't see it. My sisters seem to think we look alike. What do you think?...
Posted by brian on Thu, 19 Jun 2008 01:12:00 PST

The Ten Greatest Songs of All Time

10. What's Going On by Marvin GayeThe only Motown artist with something to say, Marvin Gaye's impassioned plea for peace and love never fails to send shivers down my spine. Right on, brother.9. Don't...
Posted by brian on Thu, 12 Jun 2008 06:04:00 PST

Its 1 AM and I just finished making curtains. Am I a fag?

The fact that I just finished making my own curtains has brought up a very pressing question that I have posed to myself: Am I a fag?I don't think I am, because, you know, when I watch pornography, th...
Posted by brian on Thu, 29 May 2008 12:21:00 PST

Back on the meat wagon! (or is it off?)

I have been a bad vegetarian lately. Actually, I'm not a vegetarian; I'm a pescetarian because I eat fish. Actually I'm neither...not anymore, at least. I ate some meat recently, quite a bit of mea...
Posted by brian on Wed, 28 May 2008 11:27:00 PST

Im not a racist!

When I was a freshman in college I took this Harvard online test for my Psychology 101 course and it told me I was a racist: I had a strong automatic preference for White people compared to Black peop...
Posted by brian on Thu, 15 May 2008 02:27:00 PST

I got nailed in Greensburg: Spring Break 08!

Being unemployed can really get exhausting sometimes: countless naps, the late nights, daily hangovers, and let us not forget the snacking! My belly is perpetually swollen with delicious chips and gu...
Posted by brian on Fri, 28 Mar 2008 01:45:00 PST

The Wost Film of 2007

This "film" is the biggest pile of shit: I couldn't tell, is this a recruiting video for the war against terror? Was this the sort of propaganda Dick Cheney had in mind when he came to Hollywood afte...
Posted by brian on Fri, 29 Feb 2008 09:57:00 PST

Top 10 Films of 2007

2007 was truly an amazing year for cinema. So many belly laughs, so many tears, so many brilliant performances, so much inspiration. It's overwhelming to think films I loved like Juno, Michael Clay...
Posted by brian on Fri, 29 Feb 2008 09:18:00 PST

Adventures in PAing, Volume II: ohmygod!ohmygod!ohmygod!

I present to you three scenarios involving Jon Stewart. One of the following is true. Which one?Scenario 1:INT. PRODUCTION OFFICE - DAYPA BRIAN sits, pretending to be working on something important....
Posted by brian on Wed, 20 Feb 2008 09:20:00 PST