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At this moment there are 6,470,818,671 people in the world. Some are running scared. Some are coming home. Some tell lies to make it through the day. Others are just not facing the truth. Some are evil men, at war with good. And some are good, struggling with evil. Six billion people in the world, six billion souls. And sometimes…all you need is one.We all go through life trying to figure out who we are, who we want to be, where we are going and who we want to bring with us on our journey. For the past couple years I have been very confident in who I was, I was proud of who I was, I knew where I was going and I had finally found the friends and partner that I wanted to have for the rest of my life. Unfortunatly I fucked up somewhere. In the past year I have lost sight of it all. Why you may ask...well to be honest I don't know. I know that it all started when I started thinking about myself instead of others. My whole life I found happiness in making others happy and all the sudden I made a very selfish decision and my whole life got flipped up side down. I started doing things that were destructive to myself and who I was. All because I stopped putting other people first. When I help people it allows me to feel! I love to help people when they think that there is no one there who cares. I love to show people that there is hope and that the world is such a beautiful place. I hate to see people give up on there dreams. I hate to see the people that I love throw their lives away. It hurts me!! I cry when I see the people I love in pain. I fight for them even when they are not willing to fight for themselves...Why? Because that is what makes me happy. When I see those people truely happy and laughing it fills me with an indiscribable feeling of joy...even if it means that I have to give up something that I love. Anyone who knows me knows that I HATE giving up. I don't believe in it. I believe that if you want something bad enough that you should fight for it. Life is too short not to. I don't undersatnd how people can just sit back and let things that they care about go without a fight!!! It doesn't make any sense to me. I hate to feel helpless and if I don't fight I automatically lose. Some people may believe that I am stubborn and hard headed and know what I say....... HELL YES I AM, AND PROUD OF IT!!!! In the past couple of months I have felt numb...I have felt lost...I have felt dead.... I am not sure who I am anymore, and I don't know where I'm going, but I do know where I have been. I remember what it felt like when I was truely happy, when I was competely in love and what it felt like to to just feel. I want that all back but I have to be patient and wait for God to bring that to me. But first things first....I have to make things right. I have to apologize to all those that I have ever hurt. I truely never meant to. I love you all to much and would lay down my life to save yours. I understand that I may not deserve it but I am just hoping one day that you can forgive me. I hope that this has shed some light on who I am....or better said who I am trying to be. Im just hoping that one day I can, yet again, be proud to be me...MY FRIENDS ROCK!!!!WE MISS YOU JOSH!!!Create Your Own