X-UG.N - ProfilesArchive

About Me

June 12th, 2007
So I'm at my buddy's place the other night watching TV and this commercial comes on. Now this was odd because his family is one of those obnoxious ones that always changes the channel on commercials but never flips back in time to see the continuation of the show we were watching, thus ruining the plotline...
OK, I'm getting sidetracked. So this commercial comes on showing a lobster. Then cuts to a shot of Vagisil.
Seriously.
So I'm thinking What the fuck does a lobster have to do with a vagina other than a vile email from seven years ago?
Damn them for making think of that email.

My Interests

The Collings Foundation - Visit and show support to keeping these classic planes flying. I've been on the B-17G twice and both were experiences of a lifetime.

I'd like to meet:

Mike Rowe. That dude oozes personality and deserves a beer on me.
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"Sexual harassment is when you're trying to have intercourse with a lady friend, and some other guy comes up and tickles your balls from behind." -Eric Cartman
"You had me at 'slow-growing virgins.'" -Mike Rowe.
"Man who fart in church sit in own pew." -Confucious.
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Important Life Lessons:
If I've learned anything from Bruce Wayne, it's that two supermodels can fit comfortably in the passenger seat of a supercar.
If I've learned anything from drag racing, is that it's a lot like masturbation; given ten minutes, any jackass can figure it out.
One day I'm gonna snap at someone like this...

Music:

Anything to help a deteriorating emotional state.

Movies:

Lost in Translation, Full Metal Jacket, Donnie Darko, and The Protector. I also like documentaries.

Television:

Dirty Jobs and Dexter. I can't wait for the next season...or the DVDs.

Books:

I'm not reading anything right now. Among my favorites reside Dune, Rainbow Six, State of Fear, and my personal favorite, The Dark Tower.

My Blog

CRASH COURSE: Read this first.

Hey folks,Sorry there haven't been any more stories lately. I've been feeling a little stale.However, for those of you just starting this story, please remember to start from Day One. MySp...
Posted by X-UG.N on Fri, 06 Apr 2007 11:00:00 PST

Crash Course: Day Five

Day Five I am now on a New Mexico highway. My destination is Texas. I have left Jesse in Arizona. Rather, he has left me in that dimension, his mission being to expose me to my ...
Posted by X-UG.N on Sat, 24 Feb 2007 01:50:00 PST

Crash Course: Day Four- Part 2

"Yeah right!" "Well, it's only a half-truth. Like I said before, time doesn't exist. It's just the collectively perceived location of every particle in the universe moved in relation to i...
Posted by X-UG.N on Thu, 22 Feb 2007 11:40:00 PST

Crash Course: Day Four

Day Four I sat on the edge of the bed with my face in my hands. I couldn't get the sensory overload of snuffing out that kid's life out of my mind. It played over and over in my head un...
Posted by X-UG.N on Wed, 21 Feb 2007 10:22:00 PST

Crash Course: Day Three

Day ThreeWe eventually took in a movie the previous day. It was a hack job by some big-shot comic book author. It had a little film-nior, a comic book story, and a dash of forcibly bad act...
Posted by X-UG.N on Tue, 20 Feb 2007 11:56:00 PST

Crash Course: Day Two

Day TwoHow can this guy be so bottled up?I'm starting to wonder what drives him to be so reserved. Everyone has a story. Everyone has some dark secret behind why they do the irrational thi...
Posted by X-UG.N on Wed, 07 Feb 2007 09:18:00 PST

Crash Course: Day One - Part 2

However, hindsight is twenty/twenty. It's always easier to look back and reflect on the things you remember and think, Isn't it kind of odd that I remembered that?He was a big guy. Easily ...
Posted by X-UG.N on Sat, 03 Feb 2007 08:30:00 PST

Crash Course: Day One-- Meeting Jesse

So everyone is telling me to write. So here it goes: my first short story. Crash Course After five days I wound up here. I jail cell in some podunk town in Arizona. It's dark, hot...
Posted by X-UG.N on Thu, 01 Feb 2007 10:28:00 PST

Your Relationship is Dumb: I Explain Why.

After reading blog after blog about everyone's relationships issues, I've decided to post a blog about how much I can't stand everyone else's blogs about how their relationships are non-existant, unpa...
Posted by X-UG.N on Wed, 01 Nov 2006 11:20:00 PST