I was raised by a pack of wolves until the tender age of sixteen. I then learned English by reading comic books and the Bible. When asked if I would like some orange juice, I always say yes. I stowed away on a Heinz mayo frigate which was bound for Nova Scotia, due to their overwhelming desire for mayo on their freedom fries. I hitched a ride with a sandwich truck from Nova Scotia to Portland, Maine. Due to physical complications, the next few months were a blur. In the Autumn of 2007, I arrived in Brooklyn to a bowl of porridge and a hearty handshake from the mayor. I found out a way to drink an apple martini like a man... on the rocks.__________GO TO
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