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NICHY

Please, no flash photography.

About Me


"Nich Richardson; the only member of my family I'd sleep with" - Byron Spencer
"Without my Nichy I wouldnt know myself" - Byron Spencer
"Who the fuck is this Byron Spencer guy?" - Nich Richardson
I'm Nich, and I'm a modern man.
I'm digital and smoke-free;
a man for the millennium.
A diversified, multi-cultural,
post-modern deconstructionist;
politically, anatomically and ecologically incorrect.
I've been uplinked and downloaded,
I've been inputted and outsourced.
I know the upside of downsizing,
I know the downside of upgrading.
I'm a high-tech low-life.
A cutting-edge, state-of-the-art,
bi-coastal multi-tasker,
and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond.
I'm new-wave, but I'm old-school;
and my inner child is outward-bound.
I'm a hot-wired, heat-seeking,
warm-hearted cool customer;
voice-activated and bio-degradable.
I interface with my database;
my database is in cyberspace;
so I'm interactive, I'm hyperactive,
and from time to time I'm radioactive.
Behind the eight ball, ahead of the curve,
ridin' the wave, dodgin' the bullet,
pushin' the envelope.
I'm on point, on task, on message,
and off drugs.
I've got no need for coke and speed;
I've got no urge to binge and purge.
I'm in the moment, on the edge,
over the top, but under the radar.
A high-concept, low-profile,
medium-range ballistic missionary.
A street-wise smart bomb.
A top-gun bottom-feeder.
I wear power ties, I tell power lies,
I take power naps, I run victory laps.
I'm a totally ongoing, big-foot, slam-dunk
rainmaker with a pro-active outreach.
A raging workaholic, a working rageaholic;
out of rehab and in denial.
I've got a personal trainer,
a personal shopper,
a personal assistant,
and a personal agenda.
You can't shut me up;
you can't dumb me down.
'Cause I'm tireless, and I'm wireless.
I'm an alpha-male on beta-blockers.
I'm a non-believer,
I'm an over-achiever;
Laid-back and fashion-forward.
Up-front, down-home;
low-rent, high-maintenance.
I'm super-sized, long-lasting,
high-definition, fast-acting,
oven-ready and built to last.
A hands-on, footloose, knee-jerk head case;
prematurely post-traumatic,
and I have a love child who sends me hate-mail.
But I'm feeling, I'm caring,
I'm healing, I'm sharing.
A supportive, bonding, nurturing
primary-care giver.
My output is down, but my income is up.
I take a short position on the long bond,
and my revenue stream has its own cash flow.
I read junk mail, I eat junk food,
I buy junk bonds, I watch trash sports.
I'm gender-specific, capital-intensive,
user-friendly and lactose-intolerant.
I like rough sex; I like tough love.
I use the f-word in my e-mail.
And the software on my hard drive
is hard-core—no soft porn.
I bought a microwave at a mini-mall.
I bought a mini-van at a mega-store.
I eat fast food in the slow lane.
I'm toll-free, bite-size, ready-to-wear,
and I come in all sizes.
A fully equipped, factory-authorized,
hospital-tested, clinically proven,
scientifically formulated medical miracle.
I've been pre-washed, pre-cooked, pre-heated,
pre-screened, pre-approved, pre-packaged,
post-dated, freeze-dried, double-wrapped
and vacuum-packed.
And . . . I have unlimited broadband capacity.
I'm a rude dude, but I'm the real deal.
Lean and mean.
Cocked, locked and ready to rock;
rough, tough and hard to bluff.
I take it slow, I go with the flow;
I ride with the tide, I've got glide in my stride.
Drivin' and movin', sailin' and spinnin';
jivin' and groovin', wailin' and winnin'.
I don't snooze, so I don't lose.
I keep the pedal to the metal
and the rubber on the road.
I party hearty, and lunchtime is crunch time.
These things I believe;
I believe that Han shot first.
I believe in miniatures, models, claymation and not revealing the shark until you absolutely have to.
I believe that George Lucas, for better or worse, changed the way we see the world, ourselves and each other, and I believe that we will someday reach those stars that he made visible.
I also believe Lucas to be a narrow-minded, money-grubbing, pig-headed slave to the 'now', who ought to be locked away from his own creations, lest he do them further harm.
I believe that Jean-Luc Picard is the better Starship captain, but I do believe that James Tiberius Kirk is infinitely cooler.
I believe that children standing in line to buy a book at midnight is fantastic.
I believe that reading makes you smart and schools make you dumb.
I believe that any episode of Futurama is better than any program featuring a precocious teenager, wise beyond their years. I also believe that Buffy the Vampire Slayer is the sole exception that proves this rule.
I believe that comic books are an art form, and will someday be recognized as such.
I believe good shows die too young, and crap shows last too long.
I believe that boycotts, petitions and sending the president of Fox lots of candy will never save a program, that only heads on spikes will do that trick.
I believe that Stephen Colbert is the funniest man alive, and I don't give a good goddamn whether you've ever heard of him or not, it's still true.
I believe that Beloq ate that fly, and I swear to God I heard Luke call Leia 'Carrie', and I believe that Samwise Gamgee never quite got the credit he deserved.
I believe in magic, I believe in dreams, I believe in the power of music, books and the untold worlds inside an everyday Blockbuster card.
And I do not believe that the geeks will inherit the Earth. I believe we already have.
What can you say about Nich? Aside from being ruggedly good-looking, this 20-something from Sydney, Australia has the good fortune of speaking 12 languages (that's a lie) and having many pairs of Converse All-Stars (that's not). But we'll let him take it from here.
Hi. I'm Nich, and it's often asked what can be said about me. A creative junkie (hooked on creativity, not discovering new, inventive ways of shooting up heroin) I like to think that my mind is working on a different plane than most of you (except you, of course . . . you're special). As such, I often wonder why 'hot' and 'cool' mean the same thing when used as an exlaimation and what Captain Hook's last name was before he lost his hand (or was it just a freaky coincidence?).
I enjoy a good red, a regular milkshake and a naughty spanking (in that order).Interestingly, the one night I got all three I was violently ill and bruised (in that order).
I Am Nich. Welcome To My World.

My Interests



INTERESTS: Wow! That's a toughie! Gee, let me think . . . FILM! Everything about that perfect medium and everyone involved - Director's, Producers, Writers, Actors, Editor's, DOP's, Gaffer's, Sound Engineers's, Best Boy's, Dolly Grip's, I LOVE YOU ALL! I also love hanging out with my friends, those people who pretend to be my friends and those people who are in no way my friends but circumstance forces us to be together (people on the bus, co-workers, members of the family etc). Love to read and write. A good red, a regular milkshake and . . . wait, we've done this.

I'd like to meet:

I'D LIKE TO MEET: Wow. that's a toughie (see what I'm doing here? get used to it). Let's see;

Stanley Kubrick for sure - That man was the BOMB! I want to be him . . . I should grow a beard.

Steven Speilberg - When I saw Munich, it was so good I peed a little.

Audrey Tautou because she rocks my tiny little socks and Audrey Hepburn because of the same reason. ALL AUDREYS!!!

Nicole Kidman - Ah Nicole, I love you so much I named my car after you!

The entire Brady Bunch (except Alice; she was never a Brady - she was an idiot), but back when they were cute, young and innocent, not the drug-fuelled, sex addicted nymphomites they are now.

Ewan McGregor - ask him what it was like to work with Nicole Kidman (something I want to do one day).

Baz Lurhmann - ask him what it was like to work with Nicole Kidman (something I want to do one day).

Antonia Kidman - ask her what it's like to be sisters with Nicole Kidman (something I want to do one day).

J.R.R. Tolkien - not to talk about Lord of the Rings but to ask what the J.R.R stands for . . . just kidding, I know . . . (shifty eyes).

Everyone who has made a movie - Welles, Ford, Hughes, Selznick, Zanuck, Thalburg, von Sternburg, Vidor, Capra, von Stroheim, Chaplin, Jackson, Sturges, Sol Wurtzel, Wilder I LOVE YOU ALL!

Music:

MUSIC: I really like a diverse range, what ever lifts my skirt and blows on my delicates, really. My Chemical Romance, Taking Back Sunday, Marilyn Manson, Silversun PickupsThe Doors, Fall Out Boy, Dashboard Confessional, Panic! In The Disco, Led Zeppelin, White Stripes, The Weakerthans, The Strokes, Yellowcard, The Vines, Matchbook Romance, My Morning Jacket, Les Miserable, Boy From Oz, Chicago, Foo Fighters, Cabaret, Urinetown, Brand New, The Producers, Rocky Horror Picture Show, James Blunt, The Shins, The Flaming Lips, Pavement, Polyphonic Spree, The Postal Service, Snow Patrol, Lemon Jelly, Damien Rice, Bright Eyes, The Pixies, MudHoney, Colin Hay, Guided by Light, Pink Floyd, Frou Four, Iron & Wine, Nick Drake, Powderfinger, Jimmy Eat World, La Bottine Souriante, The Stooges. There. Bam. Done. End Scene. I'm outta here. Don't forget to tip your waitress! Try the veal. YOU'VE BEEN GREAT!

Movies:

FILMS: Don't pull at this thread - there are SO many. But my top five (in no particular order) are: Amelie, Fear and Loathing In Las Vegas, Lord Of The Rings, Moulin Rouge! and Dr Strangelove Or: How I Learned To Stop Worrying and Love The Bomb. But after that, gee; Ace Ventura, Anchorman, American Beauty, Apocalypse Now, Back To The Future, Barry Lyndon, Being John Malkovich, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, Casablanca, Citizen Kane, Dead Man, Donnie Darko, East of Eden, Ed Wood, ET, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Fight Club, Full Metal Jacket, Gallipoli, Godfather (Parts I & II), Gone With The Wind, The Graduate, Human Traffic, Jaws, Kill Bill I & II, The Killing, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, Lemony Snickett, Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, M, Magnolia, Maltese Falcon, The Mask, Mr. Smith Goes To Washington, Mystic River, On The Waterfront, Paths Of Glory, Pirates Of The Carribean, Princess Bride, The Producers, Pulp Fiction, Rain Man, Raging Bull, Rear Window, Road To Perdition, Rocky Horror Picture Show, Romeo + Juliet, Saving Private Ryan, Scarface, Schindler's List, Seven Samurai, Shawshank Redemption, The Shining, Sideways, Singin' In The Rain, Snatch, Some Like It Hot, Spartacus, Star Wars (I-VI), Strictly Ballroom, Sunset Blvd., Taxi Driver, Terminator, The Third Man, The Thirty-Nine Steps, This Is Spinal Tap, To Kill A Mocking Bird, Top Gun, Trainspotting, 12 Angry Men, 2001: A Space Odyssey, The Usual Suspects, Wayne's World 1 & 2, West Side Story, The Wild One, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Phew. And don't even get me started on films made before 1953. I've got millions of them I love too. But for now, my fingers hurt. More to come soon.

Television:

Arrested Development, The Colbert Report, The Daily Show, 24, Alias, Entourage, Danger Mouse, The Sopraneos, Curb Your Enthusiasm, The Simpsons, Futurama, Family Guy, Smallville, Six Feet Under, Desperate Housewives, Lost, The Micallef Programme, Queer As Folk, Black Books, Scrubs, Yes Prime Minister, Friends, The West Wing, Nip/Tuck, Seinfeld, Gumby, Frasier, American Dad, Blackadder, AbFab, Sex & The City

Books:

A Scanner Darkly, The Devil Wears Prada, Shantaram, Tristam Shandy, See No Evil, When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops, Half Asleep In Frog's Pajamas, Wry Martinis, Death Sentence, The Nanny Diaries, No Way To Treat A First Lady, The Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die, anything by Terry Pratchett, Catcher In the Rye, To Kill A Mocking Bird, Fear and Loathing In Las Vegas, Fear and Loathing On the Campaign Trail '72, Death Sentence, Get A Grip On Philosophy, The Great Gatsby, 1984, Gods and Monsters, Easy Riders and Raging Bulls, The Proud Highway, Pride and Prejudice, Brave New World

Heroes:

Superman, Big Ted, Stanley Kubrick. Each one of my family and friends (except one; you know who you are - and if you don't; it's you).

My Blog

MyTightLittleSpace - Lost and found

I lost my iPod this morning. This was the worst thing that could have happened to me. I have become so dependent on it when travelling that I don't know what I would do without it. I was going to a bu...
Posted by NICHY on Wed, 11 Oct 2006 04:15:00 PST

MyTightLittleSpace - Superheroes: Part I

Superheroes. We all love them. Come on, admit it, there is one caped crusader, man of steel or irritating guy dressed in red spandex out there who gets your heart beating like a it did last Friday whe...
Posted by NICHY on Sat, 09 Sep 2006 05:39:00 PST

Things that Irritate Me

  Animals Dressed As Humans It just gets on my nerves. You don't see us wearing tails. Well, at least not anywhere outside of Oxford Street. The Christmas Display On Park Street Seriously, wh...
Posted by NICHY on Thu, 22 Dec 2005 05:07:00 PST

I Have Ridden The Giant Moon Worm

Enough Said.
Posted by NICHY on Tue, 13 Dec 2005 11:45:00 PST

Nich's Top Five

As a movie aficionado, I have decided to treat you with love and bore you with my Top Five Films Of All Time. My Top Five (In no particular order; I just can't decide . . . so I don't) - Lord of ...
Posted by NICHY on Wed, 09 Nov 2005 05:04:00 PST

Tickle me

This is . . . hands down . . . the . . . SEXIEST IDEA FOR A WEBSITE EVER! HOLD MY HAND AND CALL ME NANCY (almost everybody else does, even when they aren't holding my hand. I should look into this) th...
Posted by NICHY on Thu, 03 Nov 2005 04:31:00 PST