The Kevin Abstract - ProfilesArchive

About Me

My name is Kevin but all my hoes call me Kevy. I'm Filipino. Yes, I own a rice cooker, I will probably eat your dog, I will drive slow in the fast lane, and I will school your ass in Math. Damn Asians. I'm 18+2. You can have sex with me legally. Well maybe not you in particular but the proverbial you. I have long, black, flowing locks of hair. I'm sexy in that morbidly obese kind of way. I have the junk of a porn star. Ask your mom. I was raised in Augusta, GA but I grew up in Ramstein, Germany. That's right. I'm an American of Filipino heritage that use to live in Germany. That's some shit you tack onto your resume. I'm currently living in P'cola (as the kids call it nowadays) with my 80%-metal brother in our pimp as FUCK apartment. I have two cats named Moses and Yoshi, but they're living with my mommy right now. I love my family and friends - especially, between two pieces of toast with some mayo. I'm very shy. I have to hangout with you for awhile before I really open up to you. I'm usually very sarcastic. I try to be witty. I love confusing people. I love talking about random things. I love music but can't play it. I will own your face at Guitar Hero any day of the week. I love going to concerts. I love your mom. She loves me. I think Avril Lavigne should stop performing and become my slave. It would be a win/win situation. I'm a big geek. I'm an affection whore. I enjoy philosophy though I don't always understand it. I'm a slack ass bitch. I've seen every episode of Family Guy at least thrice. Damn you all!
By the way, this banana is more hardcore than you will ever be:

My Interests

Music, concerts, Guitar Hero, kicking your ass, movies, Family Guy, bitches, your mother, technology, computers, saving the rain forest, yelling at senior citizens and little children, fun stories, saving kittens from tall trees, starting cults, interesting things, working on my cure for cancer, and being stupid with my friends. Yes, that was all one train of thought.

I'd like to meet:

You... Naked...

Random Video
Killswitch Engage - My Curse
KSE YOU

My Comment Box
Kevin, I would love for you to anally violate me.

View/Edit All All of My Comments

Music:

I love music. I'm not sure what my musical taste is. I'll listen to anything once. Here's some of the garbage I listen to: 16 Bit Slaughter, A Life Once Lost, A Perfect Circle, A Perfect Murder, The Agony Scene, Agoraphobic Nosebleed, Anal Blast, Anal Cunt, Apex Twin, Arch Enemy, Artery, As I Lay Dying, Beastie Boys, Beck, Beneath the Massacre, The Berzerker, Big Dumb Face, Bjork, The Black Dahlia Murder, Black Label Society, Bleeding Through, Blood Has Been Shed, BloodSimple, Buckethead, Busta Rhymes, Bush, Cake, Cannibal Corpse, Cephalic Carnage, Chimaira, Coal Chamber, Contraption 7, Cradle of Filth, The Cure, Cypress Hill, Dark Tranquility, Decadence, Deftones, Demon Hunter, DevilDriver, The Dillinger Escape Plan, Dimmu Borgir, Dog Fashion Disco, Dredg, Ektomorf, Emil Bulls, Entwine, Ephel Duath, Evanescence, Exilia, Extol, Factory 81, Faith No More, Fear Factory, Few Left Standing, Foo Fighters, The Gathering, God Forbid, Green Day, Guns 'N' Roses, Hatebreed, Heaven Shall Burn, Hed PE, Hell Within, Horse the Band, Ice Cube, Ill Nino, Immortal Souls, In Flames, Incubus, Insomnium, Into the Moat, Ion Dissonance, Killswitch Engage, Kittie, Klank, Korn, Lacuna Coil, Lamb of God, Living Sacrifice, Machine Head, Marilyn Manson, Meshuggah, Mindless Self Indulgence, Mnemic, Mr. Bungle, Mudvayne, Nine Inch Nails, Nonpoint, NWA, Otep, Pantera, Pig Face, Pink Floyd, Primus, Psychostick, Puya, Radiohead, Rage Against the Machine, Raunchy, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Reflux, Richard Cheese, Rob Zombie, Sepultura, Shadows Fall, Shellshock, Skindred, Skycamefalling, Slayer, Slipknot, Smashing Pumpkins, Snoop Dogg, Snot, Soulfly, Soundgarden, Spineshank, Stone Sour, Stone Temple Pilots, Sublime, System of a Down, Taproot, Team Sleep, Throwdown, The Tony Danza Tapdance Extravaganza, Tool, Unearth, Velvet Revolver, White Zombie, Zao. I can keep going...

Movies:

I would list all the movies I like but I already did that type of thing in the Music section. I've watched infinity-billion movies though so I've probably seen at least a few that you like. Eitherway, Fight Club is the greatest movie of all time.

Television:

We don't have cable so I usually have to leech the shows I like off the intar-web. I pretty much like all the shows that make fun of pop culture, oh, and Lost.

Books:

The Bible and The Anarchist's Cookbook.

Heroes:

Honestly, Batman fucking owns you. He's rich. He's pimp. He's hardcore. He has a utility belt. He has the best pimp ride ever, the Batmoble. He has a big fucking spotlight with his logo on it. Seriously, what more could you want?

My Blog

Will you party with me?

It's spring break, motherfuckers! It seems like the only time I update this shit is when I go on some sort of break from school. I hate to keep my loyal readers of my blog waiting but I figure you're ...
Posted by Mindless Kev-in Dulgence on Fri, 16 Mar 2007 12:34:00 PST

VACATION, BITCHES!

Haha. I'm such a slack ass bitch. The last time I updated this shit was the last time that I was in D.C. and lo and behold, I'm back in D.C. again updating this shit. It's a viscous cycle. Life's been...
Posted by Mindless Kev-in Dulgence on Fri, 22 Dec 2006 01:31:00 PST

Just when you thought Kevin couldn't get any more interesting...

Another update!Yes, just when your mind was on the brink of explosion from my blinding awesomeness, this update came and blew your brains out."So what has this sexy motherfucker been up to?" You may b...
Posted by Mindless Kev-in Dulgence on Tue, 22 Aug 2006 11:12:00 PST

The Bored-as-Fuck Update.

Well it's that time again - that time when I randomly wake up early as fuck with nothing to do. It's time to update the blog! I'm out of school right now. I'm thinking of just completely skipping summ...
Posted by Mindless Kev-in Dulgence on Fri, 09 Jun 2006 05:32:00 PST

I'm Batman.

You scored as Batman, the Dark Knight. As the Dark Knight of Gotham, Batman is a vigilante who deals out his own brand of justice to the criminals and corrupt of the city. He follows his own code and...
Posted by Mindless Kev-in Dulgence on Wed, 05 Apr 2006 12:05:00 PST

I need the money.

I have a job interview at 2:00 PM with Rebuild Northwest Florida.They need a tech type dude to help out. They're offering $8-10 starting which is pretty ridiculous.It's for a good cause too.Plus, I ha...
Posted by Mindless Kev-in Dulgence on Thu, 30 Mar 2006 10:42:00 PST

In Memory of Picard.

Hey everyone. It's offically been 2 years since Picard passed away. I still remember that day at the hospital like it was yesterday. For the ones that don't know, I have a message board that Picard an...
Posted by Mindless Kev-in Dulgence on Thu, 16 Feb 2006 10:29:00 PST

The Ride.

I finally got a car, bitches! I ended up not getting either of the Buicks because it turned out that they were both shitty. I bought a '97 Pontiac Grand Prix. It's kinda old but it's fairly low on mil...
Posted by Mindless Kev-in Dulgence on Fri, 10 Feb 2006 01:58:00 PST

Updates are overrated.

Hello all my adoring fans. It's been awhile. Some cool stuff has been going on in my life so I thought I would rock your faces off with my new awesomeness. CollegeI'm in my second semester of col...
Posted by Mindless Kev-in Dulgence on Sat, 28 Jan 2006 10:43:00 PST

More Chuck Norris!

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb ba...
Posted by Mindless Kev-in Dulgence on Sun, 15 Jan 2006 12:39:00 PST