tane! - ProfilesArchive

About Me

i'm the person that you never look twice at when you pass me on the sidewalk. you don't notice that today i shaved for you. you don't care that i spent an extra 10 minutes fixing my hair for you. you don't notice the smell of my colonge that i'm wearing, or that i stood in front of my mirror for an hour and a half wondering if you'll like the color of shirt that i put on. i'm that guy. the one you'll never remember to forget. Myspace Layouts

My Interests

i don't have a lot of interests. i am generally boring and a poor speller of words. when i do go out of my small, musty, studio apartment, i tend to head over to the supermarket where i stand in the middle of the frozen food isle and comment on how people are getting fatter because of their dietary choices. after that i go back to my place and watch barely legal porn while i eat left over taco bell and indulge in a gallon of coldstone ice cream. i am a sad and lonely individual with .14cents in my left jean pocket and a crumpled up report card from my 3rd grade in the other.

Music:

is a dirty word that someone invented in order to keep us guessing about something that we shouldn't even pay attention to.

Movies:

bring on the sex, drugs and blood.

Television:

family guy and the simpsons. 'nuff said.

Books:

moby dick.

Heroes:

the person who invented twizzlers. oh, and that other famous guy with the brown suit and no shoes. yeah... they're great.

My Blog

NEW TIME AND VENUE!!!

Hosted By: Tane AllenWhen: Friday May 23, 2008 at 9:00 PMWhere: Speakeasy609m se Taylor St.Portland, 97214United StatesDescription:Tane Allen Click Here To View Event...
Posted by tane! on Tue, 20 May 2008 09:03:00 PST

goodbye portland! remember me, your bastard son!

I've been doodling and drawing and painting for some time now. When I was younger I drew out of boredom. Crayons on walls mainly, but after many a punishment, I moved on to books that I colored ...
Posted by tane! on Wed, 23 Apr 2008 10:45:00 PST

i like pee! oh wait. i mean, i like peas!

i was driving down the road the other day in my sweet 1984 chevy citation II, (it's a pretty sweet ride that i bought 7 years ago. it doesn't have much under the hood, doesn't get the best gas m...
Posted by tane! on Fri, 18 Apr 2008 12:27:00 PST

hmmm... i’m almost there...

so what do i got? not a lot but i have one or two things that keep me going. besides from family and friends; i have....wait for it....wait...wait...and wait some more...oh, shit! what was it? d...
Posted by tane! on Tue, 15 Apr 2008 03:00:00 PST

A hooker in my bed is worth two in the bush

My old boss is an asshole. Not just you're run of the mill asshole, but the type of an asshole that should have a statue constructed of him and placed in the middle of a public park. The s...
Posted by tane! on Fri, 11 Apr 2008 03:04:00 PST

promo

i’m lame. i need to sit down and write about poop or piss or something savy that’ll really force you to like me. i should, but i won’t. so for now you can entertain yourself by...
Posted by tane! on Fri, 28 Mar 2008 03:02:00 PST

McButt burgers and a $37 coke please

hi. i'm a worthless piece of shit. i recently bought a "E" ticket to a ride that now realize i can't get off and i'm a little pissed because of it. no, it wasn't the price of admittion, or the $...
Posted by tane! on Thu, 17 Jan 2008 09:40:00 PST

a year in revue... bitch.

son of a bitch! i hate looking back. Wither it might be a year in question or perhaps a chin scratching decision about wither of not i should have added extra onions on my quizno's sub...
Posted by tane! on Tue, 01 Jan 2008 03:15:00 PST

driving down the hershey highway

i'm not big on hospital visits, but after several days of having explosive diarreha, (no, it wasn't the taco bell that i had drunkenly eatin the night before) i figured that i might have something may...
Posted by tane! on Sun, 24 Jun 2007 04:48:00 PST

HELL: row D seat 27

So as many of you might have already guessed, i'm going to hell. no, not the musical starring tony danza, but the actual geographic destination. and the reason i'm going is not because i touch myself ...
Posted by tane! on Sun, 17 Sep 2006 01:17:00 PST