*A fish called Afton* - ProfilesArchive

About Me

I AM THE WALRUS.
For the definition of a total cock see below.
And if i had a picture of James 'the cock' Ashwell he would be on here too. But i don't. So i have replaced him with this.
Hi!I'm Afton.Yay to me for having a weird name.If i was a boy i would now be called Clint! thats right...like sir clint of eastwood. that means i'm cool, too cool for school!!!! oh yeah!!according to many a friend this is me below on the right.
If a snail loses its shell does that mean its classed as a slug?I'm old.My favourite colour is green!!!Motown is the best music in the history of the world!The legend of old cher is my all time idol!I'm shy. However much you may think i'm not.I like making people smile :-D My bubble is the best place ever. No one can hurt you there.I drink pints of strongbow. I am apparently the biggest flirt ever...lol.I love Slush puppies!!!I live in hoodies.eyeliner and Ghd's are amazing as they hide my camel like features. Apparently i have an uncanny resemblence to Rodney trotter, boris becker and good old boris johnson.
Take note these are all men.chavs are cool and if anyone says otherwise i will send round chav daddy.
I have dirty chav boy fetish. I'm not a material girl. I have a guitar named Rita.When i am extra old i want a little pug dog called Betty.She will be the best dog in the world!
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My Interests

***LOOK AT MAAAAAAAAAAAY***

R.E.A.D.I.N.G. FESTIVLAY!!!! it is amazing! and every year i go its my birthday! Celebration!I like piercings. especially on men. and tattoo's. Playing the Bongo's is also a favourite past time.I don't cook cos its boring and i like driving in my new sexy car....he's very sexy. I christened him Baldric the merciless....there was a ceremony and everything! I hate moths and frogs/toads and cats and tomatoes! They are the most vile things in the history of the world.They make me sick. *cough*

I'd like to meet:

half man half trout.

My long lost mother dame Alison Moyet.

William Shatner.

The iron lady herself margaret thatcher.

The northern Fat tina......Lick my bingo wings!!!!!

THE SEX FIEND THAT IS.......

Billy ray bloody cyrus. You may remember him from back in the day as the singer of the county dancing classic achy breaky heart? Yes my friends....but look how god damn sexy he is now....amazing what a new hairstyle and a beard trim can do!!!!

Music:

Whatever makes me dance like a dance whore!!!! SHAFT!!! THRUST!!! SHAFT!!! THRUST!!!

My repetoir of dance moves. Oh yes. and lying on my back as lover or anyone willing will spin me round by my legs. SHE CAN CLEAR A DANCE FLOOR!!

note this does not include garage noise. My all time favourite is motown.....Martha reeves and the vandella's, Maxine nightingale, the exciters, smokey robinson, the marvelettes. FACT.

The pidgeon detectives.......Me and lover are going to kidnap them at the reading festival!!!

I am also a bit partial to.....The charlatans.Metallica.Wolfmother.Jamiroquai.The Fratelli's.We are scientists.The Libertines.Franz Ferdinand.BRMC.Maximo Park.Wino.cypress hill.Kings of Leon.Paul Weller.Chas and Dave.Sex Pistols.Muse.Supertramp.Kanye West.Led Zeppelin.The Clash.Cher.The Arcade Fire.Adam and the Ants.The Strokes.Do Me Bad Things.Macy Gray.The Zutons.The Undertones.David Bowie.Elton John.Elvis.Meatloaf.Rolling Stones.No Doubt.The Futureheads.Depeche Mode.Aerosmith.Keane.Razorlight(1st album).Yeah Yeah Yeah's.The Beatles.Faithless.Goldfrapp.Hot Hot Heat.Bloc Party.Oasis.The Klaxons.Kula Shaker.Madonna.Blur.Editors.Arctic Monkeys.Pulp.Electric six.Scissor Sisters.Feeder.Missy Elliott.Sean Paul.Velvet Revolver.Supergrass.Girls Aloud.Mcfly.Tina Turner.Queen.My Chemical Romance.Kasabian.Lynard Skynard.Rage against the machine.Placebo.The Infadels.The Automatic.Stereophonics.*dance*dance*dance*bloody dance music!!!!

My favourite cher song ever!!!she is awesome.

This song brings back good memories :-D

Movies:

I am a proper film geek, and i would probably win geek of the year! how exciting!!!!! From Dusk till Dawn.Serenity.Almost Famous.My Best Friends Wedding.Land of the Dead.Blade Trilogy.Sister act 1 and 2.Clueless.Bring it on- brings back the cheerleading memories! vice captain don't ya know!
Never been Kissed. Trainspotting.Battle Royale.Orange County.True Romance.Nightwatch.Jerry Maguire.Resident evil 1/2.Underworld.High Fidelity.Kill Bill 1/2.Ghost World.Rita, Sue and Bob too.Gladiator.Muriels Wedding.Chopper.Me,Myself and Irene.Anchorman.Flash Gordon.Rocky 1,2,3,4,5,6.Cry Baby.American Beauty.Grease 2.Zoolander.Lord of the Rings. And i own every single one of these films too! bonus point!

Television:

Don't really watch much television. Its boring. I fidget too much. Garth Marenghi's Darkplace feat skipper the eye child. Peep show. Diagnosis murder. Gimme Gimme Gimme! Nighty Night. Top Gear. Shameless. Never mind the Buzzcocks.The mighty boosh. Kath and Kim. Popworld. Hollyoaks. Sugar rush. All the old classics too, like Superted/Count Duckula/Fun House/Captain Planet/Nightmare and the Poddington Peas!

Books:

How to be a bastard magnet.

Heroes:

OLD TREVOR

My Blog

he’s a gonner.....

Dearest people,there are only going to be a set few who read this blog, the men that i have scorned, the men that have scorned me and the men that won't tell me how they feel because they think i like...
Posted by *A fish called Afton* on Sun, 20 Jan 2008 08:40:00 PST

21st july 2007 - DADDY ON WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE!!!!!!!

My dad was on who wants to be a millionaire last night!!!!oh it was amazing......64 THOUSAND ENGLISH POUNDS!!!!!!i have the dvd if anyone wants to see it!!!!I'M SO PROUD OF HIM!!!:-Dxxxxxxxxxxx...
Posted by *A fish called Afton* on Sun, 22 Jul 2007 01:55:00 PST

xxthe most amazing dog in the world died todayxx

My dog in france died today. She had to be put down. The stupid friggin doctors in the vets were giving her urinary infection tablets for 5 weeks until they found a tumour in her stomach. I HATE ...
Posted by *A fish called Afton* on Sat, 07 Jul 2007 06:38:00 PST

Friday nights antics, including flouncy flouncy!!!!

Deary me, where to begin!!!! So....Me and the lover began our evening by purchasing the finest bottle of cheap wine from the tescoage, and we all know what happens to affy on a cheap bottle of wine do...
Posted by *A fish called Afton* on Sun, 10 Jun 2007 10:32:00 PST

hmmmmmmmmmmmmv man!!!

Rar!Today is finally the day that i become an evil bitch lesbian....named brenda.Men deserve death. too nice....too bloody nice!!! oh and i have also been made redundanted again. so i am now a bum, wa...
Posted by *A fish called Afton* on Sat, 24 Mar 2007 12:44:00 PST

doom

The profile song says it all.....................
Posted by *A fish called Afton* on Thu, 08 Feb 2007 02:26:00 PST

the best day of my life!

today is the day. Meatloaf is touring. its the bestest thing that has ever happened to me in the history of ever!!!!! a trillion woopage i feel is deserved. i will be there, with bells on. oooooh and ...
Posted by *A fish called Afton* on Sun, 10 Dec 2006 01:52:00 PST

fucked

oh hello you!!!!! I am sooooooooo wanked. festival was wicked and birthday was a total fabulisimo day. plus did stars up your arse karaoke- rod stewart do ya think im sexy with dirty mo and a random! ...
Posted by *A fish called Afton* on Mon, 28 Aug 2006 11:46:00 PST

the month of shit

this has to have been one of the worst god damn months of my life! i get bitten by a dog,which i must add should have been put down by now but the family seem to be objecting for some unknown re...
Posted by *A fish called Afton* on Thu, 29 Jun 2006 01:16:00 PST

apologies

ALLO!!! To my partner in crime i have news. top of the pops may have to wait for me to make my next appearance as i have been summoned to go on a binge weekend to Blackpool. The city of chavs i hear y...
Posted by *A fish called Afton* on Tue, 11 Apr 2006 06:20:00 PST