infinite chaos profile picture

infinite chaos

let me blow your minds eye....

About Me

life is an irrelevant amalgam of insubordinate experiences...or to decipher, we rarely know who the fuck we are yet we spend a surreal amount of time, in the context of our miniscule existence, trying to figure out other people....and i am one of the worst offenders, i want to know everyone, i want to be loved and liked and respected, because i love others and i like everyone, unless they give me a reason not to, and congruent with that i respect EVERYONE, until they give me a reason not to......we all wander into the lives of others and forget that we are the strangers, but we can become familiar if we just let it happen........life is intangible at its core because we attempt to grasp something that we dont even realize is right in our hands, people are unique and i admire that in all who i meet......love is meant to be shared not held hostage and rationed out....that will eat you up and make you crazy.......your sexuality is your right and it is a privilege for others to share in its experience but that also is oppressed too much by others.....i tend to expect alot of those around me, especially those that i love....and that is a lot of people......i used to do alot of drugs, but i have come to realize that i am better than that and i have more to live for than a buzz.....if i ever stop having the passion for life that i have right now shoot me.......i should be the poster child for ADHD, and i think that that rocks.......i exude a contagious energy and i love when people smile...........definitions suck, they just constrict who and what you are so why the fuck would you label yourself(thanks sarah).....i dont wanna be anything except what i am and who i am, shit thats hard enuff as it is, why make it more complicated????????i love my guitar as much as anything and i want to play it like a lucid dream in waking time......heres to you la, my love my life my future wife, i luv u princess, you are my bff and always will be

My Interests

i wish it were all as easy as it was when i didnt know any better but unlearning is not an option....the things i love the most are all gone.....along with my innocence....except her....she knows who she is.....;}life-learning-my guitar-flying without wings-slam poetry- cooking-having fun-music as an outlet- snowboarding-surfing-longboarding- MAKING A DIFFERENCE-humor-the seasons-trees-being outside- falling in love everyday, all over again-and for the first time

I'd like to meet:

open minds-dreams-ambitions-life-love-friends-cosmic traveling companions-anyone who loves to live.

Music:

to live is to suffer.....to survive is to find meaning in the suffering..Ani is my bitch........can you say goddess....and i'm straight....go figure.....i just love music, if it moves me i love it from jason mraz, a local boy to john mayer, who shares my birthday, to tool, to lynard skynard(there is a little redneck in all of us)....sarah mac, tori, porishead, and anything electronic that isnt a fucking looplooplooplooplooplooploop....lets just say i love to feeli like disturbed, pearl jam, bonobo, aerovane, sage francis, atmosphere, cowboy junkies, cloudhead, g love and the sauce, afi, and ill add more lateri just love all kinds of new music that i am being turned on to like saosin and coheed and cambria andlots of other shit

Movies:

boondock saints, big lebowski, xmen, pi, vanilla sky, what dreams may come, patch adams, the legend of billie jean(yeah thats old school), monster squad
Your Birthdate: October 16
Your birth on the 16th day of the month gives a sense of loneliness and generally the desire to work alone.
You are relatively inflexible, and insist on your being independent.
You need a good deal of time to rest and to meditate.
You are introspective and a little stubborn.
Because of this, it may not be easy for you to maintain permanent relationships, but you probably will as you are very much into home and family.
This birth day inclines to interests in the technical, the scientific, and to the religious or the unknown realm of spiritual explorations.
The date gives you a tendency to seek unusual approaches and makes your style seem a little different and unique to those around you.
Your intuition is aided by the day of your birth, but most of your actions are bedded in logic, responsibility, and the rational approach.
You may be emotional, but have a hard time expressing these emotions.
Because of this, there may be some difficulty in giving or receiving affection. What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Television:

lets just say that i think that tv is bullshit in this country and we are all blind as fuck if we think that we are free from censorship.....

Books:

anything that has to do with faeries and elves and majik and mysticism......jordan, tolkien, anthony, zelazny, etc.....'The stars blazed like the love of God, cold and distant...' roger zelazny......"isle of the dead".....

Heroes:

heroes are truly for those who are just afraid to do...except for maybe your mom or dad and the sacrifices they make(i am feeling particularly fatalistic right now).....i admire many people but i am my own hero and unless you know the things that i have persevered then you may think i am arrogant and an ass...f(*k off.....you dont know me so dont judge me.....make your own destiny and break free...then you will be the HERO......

My Blog

hhhhhhmmmm.

so life is going how its going at this very moment, and as things couldnt be better i find myself waiting for the bomb to drop...but its only going to drop if i manifest it, so i just sit here and mov...
Posted by infinite chaos on Fri, 09 Sep 2005 02:18:00 PST

just a repost

heart melts sienna i am stranded onthis lonely oasis- the visceral images of past pleasures and forsaken intimacies a vivid reminiscence~ i wander about as a lost child in the hallways of a...
Posted by infinite chaos on Fri, 19 Aug 2005 02:42:00 PST

so here i am again....

for those of you who know and care i have recently returned- unexpectedly and by the grace of GOD- to the land of the free......my hiatus as a ward of the state is behind me- for good- i will cont...
Posted by infinite chaos on Thu, 18 Aug 2005 04:56:00 PST

utterly

i am utterly unreliable as an invitation to the party, i am not even invited at least thats what they tell me.......i just dont know anymore but i hesitate to say that i ever knew in the first place.....
Posted by infinite chaos on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

i am really......

....in this state of disbelief that so many people refuse to see what i find so clear......I AM NOT PRO KERRY>>>>>>>I AM ANTI-BUSH\\\\ it is the concept, sadly of the LESSER of TWO evils.....but th...
Posted by infinite chaos on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

blahblah blah blah

what in the hell is going on here i am talking to this random guy who out of the blue says that china is running out of workers and he wont stop talking to me.........this is really weird ok finally.....
Posted by infinite chaos on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

OK SO......

so i have almost gotten to the point that i dont want to commit murder but its only been 90 seconds since i wrote that last blog maybe ill give it a minute............nope that didnt work either now i...
Posted by infinite chaos on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

i.....

i wonder what it must be like to not be able to hold your temper......you must blow up all the time.......or maybe you just wanna smack the shit out of everyboby because everyone else is way too fucki...
Posted by infinite chaos on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

eat fuck kill(thank you smackdown gzuz)

i decimate participants i annhialate the unequivocal competition the enlisted ranks trample our collective unrest and my mental capacity disrupts your languid investment~invest bank on my festive app...
Posted by infinite chaos on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

awake

alive- expose the rampaging turmoil of my life, behind sorrowful eyes- envision a truth that forbids all lies- fly- away from the pain- of a lackluster youth i gave it my all but i retain no hard pr...
Posted by infinite chaos on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST