Hello, I'm Darrell. Welcome to my over crowded, yet highly educational Myspazz. I am a bum. But I've convinced myself that a career in the film industry will prevent me from being doomed to a life living in a Greggs pasty bag. For once I'm correct. For I am a film-making god. My mind being filled with usless crap. Don't believe me? Try your luck. Anyway this is my humble myspace. Enjoy. Not that anyone reads this.
A few "NEW" facts about Darrell:
1) When Darrell passes Go, he collects £400.
2) Jamie Lee Curtis used to call Darrell a pussy behind his back. Jamie Lee Curtis also used to have a career. And a penis.
3) Darrell once asked Cleopatra to go swimming in his pool with him. And by 'pool' he meant 'bath tub'. And by 'swimming' he meant 'sex'.
4) Darrell was responsible for a short-lived line of personal care products. Only one ever reached the market: "Darrell's Molten Tungsten Nasal Douche" which was withdrawn shortly after launch when he realised that it had the unfortunate side-effect of death to users who were not Darrell.
5) Michael Jackson never touched Darrell inappropriately. But Darrell did write Thriller.
6) It has been said that Darrell will be the last being alive when the universe comes to an end. It is for this reason he invented pornography.
7) Darrell pistol whipped the entire cast & crew of "Alien Vs Predator" with his mind after that bullshit movie caused him to attempt suicide multiple times before remembering that he's Darrell - he can't die, he's omnipresent, like that really pimply and awkward guy who stands around just behind and to the left of you at parties and quickly heads off in the direction of the buffet whenever you attempt to try to get him to leave by shooting your perfected "You weren't invited. No one loves you." look.
8) Darrell gave dolphins the gift of intelligence.
9) When Darrell wishes to mail a letter, he forces it down the throat of the nearest housepet, then hurls the animal in the direction of the recipient's house.
10) Darrell shaves with a chainsaw.