DEAD SEAL

I am a WEREWOLF......Every time I get close to a bar around midnight I begin to change. My G string underwear goes flying off, and I begin to speek in horny tongue. If I make it home before daylight I start to make weretunes with my bass guitar and pound out some werelicks on the keys, whiste looking cool as a beaver in drag. I turned down the werewolf hirearchy to be a good wolf and vow to only change from the inside and not devour your soul and put mustard on it. I still however seem to have uncontrolable erdges to be a complete asshole and tell you that your not as cool as me and you make this too easy. On the other hand I only strive to put back bone in your spine and have you say something funny, Like a muppet in your toilet singing Nine Inch Nails and waving a dilldoe around. One of my special powers is to make the world seem like a box in which I view my oister and realizing that I am the pearl.I LOve people even if they hate me. Its good to be on the cover of gossip every week.Bye Bye Evil D.