Jendaaawg

I can believe things that are true and I can believe things that aren't true and I can believe things that nobody knows if they're true or not. I can believe in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, Marilyn Monroe, the Beatles, Elvis and Mister Ed. I believe that people are perfectible, and that knowledge is infinite, that the world is run by secret banking cartels and is visited by aliens on a regular basis, (nice ones that look like wrinkley lemurs and bad ones who mutilate cattle and want our water and women). I believe that the future sucks and I believe that the future rocks and I believe that one day White Buffalo Woman is going to come back and kick everyone's ass. I believe that all men are just overgrown boys with deep problems communicating and that the decline in good sex in America is coincident with the decline in drive-in movie theaters from state to state. I believe that one is missing something in life if they never try to make-out uncomfortably in the front seat of a car. I believe men are beautiful creatures sent here to torment me in bad and good ways. I believe that all politicians are unprincipled crooks and I still believe that they are better than the alternative. I believe that California is going to sink into the sea when the big one comes, while Florida is going to dissolve into madness and alligators and toxic waste. I believe that antibacterial soap is destroying our resistance to dirt and disease so that one day we'll all be wiped out by the common cold like the martians in War of the Worlds. I believe that the greatest of poets of the last century were Edith Sitwell and Don Marquis, that thousands of years ago in a former life I was a shaman. I believe that candy really did taste better when I was a kid, that it's aerodynamically impossible for a bumblebee to fly, that light is a wave and a particle, that there are stars in the universe billions of years older than the universe itself. I believe there are more connections in the brain than atoms in the universe. I believe in a personal god who cares about me and worries and oversees everything I do. I believe in an impersonal god who set the universe in motion and went off to hang with their friends and doesn't even know I'm alive. I believe in an emtpy and godless universe of casual chaos, background noise, and sheer blind luck. I believe mike ness makes me happy. I believe that anyone who says that sex is overrated just hasn't done it properly. I believe that anyone who claims to know what's going on will lie about the little things too. I believe in a woman's right to choose, a baby's right to live, that while all human life is sacred there's nothing wrong with the death penalty if you can trust the legal system implicitly, and that no one but a moron would ever trust the legal system. I believe that life is a game, that life is an indescribably amazingly beautiful joke, and that life is what happens when you're alive and that you might as well lie back and enjoy it.