The Royal We profile picture

The Royal We

I am here for Dating, Friends and Networking

About Me

..Too cute for Hell. Too drunk for Heaven. I kick rich amounts of ass with remarkable style. I steal your internets. Story of my fuckin' life.br

My Interests

unicorns,drinking both fine and malt liqours, reading, writing, buying pastries shaped like animals, wearing torn slips,Respec' Knuckles, fake tattoos, lube in pump bottles, making stuffed animals, Kleins Deli (RIP), bacon chedder pancakes. I built a robot last night. Ask me about it.

I'd like to meet:

That greased up muscle man in purple pants and bling who is ROCKING the saxophone in "The Lost Boys." People who carry boomboxes with them everywhere. Someone who will teach me to make gormet sausage. Someone who can teach me taxidermy. Vanessa Lutz. Gob. Joan Jett, then Joan Jett again.

Music:

Songs with excessive cowbell. If you believe such a thing can exist."Well I gotta get drunk and I sure do dread it cause I know just what I'm gonna do I'll start to spend my money callin everybody honey and I'll wind up singin the blues I'll spend my whole paycheck on some old wreck And brother I can name you a few Well I gotta get drunk and I sure do dread it cause I know just what I'm gonna doI gotta get drunk, I just can't stay sober There's a lot of good people in town Who like to see me holler, see me spend my dollar and I wouldn't dream of lettin 'em down There's a lot of doctors tell me that I'b better start slowing it down But there's more old drunks than there are old doctors So I guess we'd better have another round" -Willie Nelson

Movies:

the sweet hereafter, hearts and minds, last unicorn, all about my mother, when harry met sally, henry fool, gosford park, anything herzog, metropolis ( lang and rintaro),wet hot american summer,sneakers,repo man, rollbounce. pretty much any movie that contains the line "We have to have a skate off!", D.C. Muthafuckin' Cab!!!!!! The Evangelion movie if it ever freaking gets made.

Television:

No T.V. but the O.C.

Books:

Satanic Verses, Tales of the City, Beloved, Dirty Weekend, Love in the Time of Cholera, Adventures of Cavalier and Clay, Jonathan Strange and Mr.Norrell, Vonnegut, Tome Robbins, the Corrections, Assasination Vacation, Calvin & Hobbs, Stiff & Spooked, Box Office Poisen, Black Hole, Persepolis, Summer Blonde, www.achewood.com!!!....

Heroes:

Bacon

My Blog

Letter to a Telemarketer Who Has Been Harrassing Me

I sent this today, after the umpteenth call, after the last straw had long gone up in flames, been vomited on, discarded, left for dead. I'll let ya'll know if I get a responce. Oh, the company by the...
Posted by The Royal We on Fri, 26 Oct 2007 11:46:00 PST

Hating women really brings us all together!

An AP Article reports that Cops in Thailand who commit minor offenses such as littering or parking in prohibited areas will be punished not only with fines, but with wearing armbands that bear the im...
Posted by The Royal We on Mon, 06 Aug 2007 09:52:00 PST

HOLLA BACK SF!

Holla Back started in NYC and I'm so stoked that someone took the initiative to start an SF site. (I'm behind the times, because it's been online since 2006.) It's a forum to expose people who harrass...
Posted by The Royal We on Mon, 06 Aug 2007 09:19:00 PST

Bacon is Pissed at the Media Again

I'm obsessed with pop culture. I watch reality TV, I Netflix a lot of stupid movies (Liscence to Drive, anyone?) and I read some pop culture blogs, namely Pop Candy and the Best Week Ever blog. I noti...
Posted by The Royal We on Thu, 22 Mar 2007 03:13:00 PST

Syrupy Bacon

So I'm home for the holidays and I dug out all my old journals, which I kept religiously from the age of 12 onward. I read this entry (written when I was 12) and while it truly lays to rest any doubt ...
Posted by The Royal We on Sun, 24 Dec 2006 10:55:00 PST

Bacon Bike Rant

Like a lot of you, I ride my bike to work everyday. It's pretty cool. I've got a pretty sweet ass from all that peddling. And Lord, don't get me started on the calves. My space-age, super-rad calves. ...
Posted by The Royal We on Wed, 15 Nov 2006 02:37:00 PST

Bacon: Fact or Fiction ?!?!?!

See if you can figure out these fun puzzlers! PRizes for the first person to write in with a fun fact about white tigers.Fact or Fiction:1. I am reading "the Davinci Code" and I don't not like it.2. S...
Posted by The Royal We on Thu, 04 May 2006 01:23:00 PST

fyi you can all go to hell

just what i said you shitheads.
Posted by The Royal We on Sun, 04 Jun 2006 03:54:00 PST

Bacon Control

I started taking birth control this week. I sort of feel like I lost my virginity all over again, or baked a cake for the first time, or - so that the men reading this can relate- that I just learned ...
Posted by The Royal We on Mon, 14 Nov 2005 07:45:00 PST

CORREOGRAPHED BACON

Does anybody want to do some kind of correographed dance number to this? Like something with fifty people that starts in a bar and spills into the streets and ends with us delirously dancing on top of...
Posted by The Royal We on Mon, 29 Aug 2005 02:58:00 PST