Knewz

Why I'm Single..?

People ask.. Why are you single..? You seem alright.. Educated.. Kind-of-Cute and in-shape.. So.. whatz wrong with you..?

And I now reply.. I am single because I haven't found what I have searched all these years for, I am single because your beauty haven't restrained me from further walking by, I am single because you never showed me I’m worth your every moment and attention, single because I'm not what you are looking for in ah man.. Yet..!, single because you don't have any patients to see what type of man I can truly become, single because I don't have a car yet, single because I don't own and still rent, single because I didn't finish school yet, single because my income is unmatchable to Jay-z, single because I rather spend $100 on groceries and cooking for you than by taking you out for dinner, single because you are not strong enough for someone like me, single because you can’t acknowledge that you are a GROUPIE..! , single because you slept with someone I know, single because I slept with someone you know..LOL, single because after taking my number down while in the club/lounge, I noticed you later taking down another guy’s like so, single because you never answered when I called, single because you answered when he called, single because you failed to admit of letting him go from your heart, single because he's wants to know why I do all the things he won't do for you, single because you are cheating on me with someone that knows he would never love you the way I will, single because you borrowed from me to give to the next man, single because someone cheated on you before me, single because you had a child without me and I am not a step-father for hire at the moment, single because I grew unemotional from you misusing me, single because you left me waiting for hours without showing up, single for making me travel so far to find out your not there anymore, single for hearing excuses of why we shouldn't be together, so I'll help both of us by just leaving and remaining single until she comes along and finally see's my worth.

Knewz

I Can't Feel You

How do you stay with someone that can't be felt..? And I don't mean mentally because my love for her is there in my heart as well as my mind. The sight of her entering a room is as if the first time she walked across my path. I know I made the right choice when I was asked to become hers and hers alone. Her body is so beautiful and I am glad to call it mines, and it also feels good to finally have someone you can call on, and she would actually be there for me when I call upon her and need her the most.. All the nightz of calling multiple gurlz just in case ah few cancel for whateva da reason maybe is now in da past. The thoughtz of having beautiful children are seen every time I look in her eyez, the vision of my first son and also the second of my little princess with similar features of her mother is a wish that may finally come true. But....! What choices do I have of being faithful to a women that I promised to never hurt nor leave when she doesn't know that I can't feel her. Everynight we lay down, I notice I am gently kissing the back of her neck as she plays sleep, and then occasional thoughtz replay thru my mind of how I'm about go back into a situation that I'm quite disappointed in. Every night afterward, I ask myself if I'm the only one..? Is she lie'n to me about being so faithful..? Or maybe she's built different and her wall texture is lighter than most and just can not be felt. Because I am no small man and whenever I encountered someone like this.. It was usually from the other partner engaging with multiple partners and neva gave themselves ah chance to heal. But I look at her and know, well hope that isn't da case. I ask, do I stay and risk cheating every now and then to kill the urge of what was once felt from my past experiences, or do I save her from a future heart break, because lets not fool eachother.. If I came up short, that there can be adjusted, but to have no walls.. What doctor can fix such ah thing..? Don't get me wrong... I heard rumors of this procedure being possible, and I don't wanna go back to chasing others while wondering if she really loves me and will be there for me the way I would if I was called upon..? This is a situation that is hard for me.. Because I'm not into cheating, shyt its too many dirty birdz out here to be playing Russian roulette with my dick.. I don't know where to turn anymore.. I guess we'll have to see how this one pan out...

Knewz

Te Quiero... (I want you..)

Te quiero a sepa... that I care for you, and only wish the best for us. Even though I feel you pullin away from me at times, I try to tell myself maybe itz for ah good reason, but when you pull away.. I hold back.. I gotta tell myself "son.. if you show her how you truly feel.. maybe she'll drop her guard and open up as well or maybe she'll become scared like the others from your past and try ta pull out of the relationship before it gets any deeper.." Now Im stuck contemplating on which road should I take. Should I play it safe and wait..? Not ah problem, because I've been doing alot of that lately.. or should I disregard that previous judgement and show her she means more to me than any gurl I have encountered along my life.. Make her aware that.. you are my soul-mate, mi reina, mi futura y que estoy comienzo a caer para ti.. Then I pause.. and analyze my actions and thoughts.. and I ask myself.. "why do people alwayz say they want somebody they can trust, somebody that will be there for them, no matter the situation; somebody you can say I really love you to and know their reply is true with sincerity.., someone who won't put nothing in front of you or even have to decide ither to go out with his/her friendz or to be alone with you". I want what was giving to me.. I want what pictures are painted for.. I want what I see in all these movies such as the "Love Jones", "The Note Book", "Love n Basketball" ,"Brown Suga" and da list goes on... I want that lust and love for someone in my life.. being able to have fun as well as being there when shyt getz ruff.. I wanna waste my life with someone I love than to waste it with someone that is seen as a mistake.. I wouldn't want my child to feel he/she is that also, which is the reason why I am still single with no kidz baby.. I just want you to understand I am not for play my dear.. and I wouldn't leave you if I felt you were applying the same amount as effort as I... I want you to know that no matter what.. I will wait for you as long as I know after the turmoil and struggle you will still be there.. I want you to know that no one has to tell me what I should do or give me advice on how I should feel about us.. I want you to most importantly know that I TRUST you.. I also want you to know... that I may not be IN LOVE with you as yet.. but I do love da feeling of FALLIN IN LOVE with you when Im with you.. And if that scares you.. then maybe you don't feel the same as I do...

Knewz