Genuinely Happy Lady

I AM INDESTRUCTIBLE
Samurai’s Creed
Anonymous, Circa 1300
I have no parents; I make the heaven and earth my mother and father.
I have no home; I make awareness my dwelling.
I have no life and death; I make the tides of breathing my life and death.
I have no divine power; I make honesty my divine power.
I have no means; I make understanding my means.
I have no magic secrets; I make character my magic secret.
I have no body; I make endurance my body.
I have no eyes; I make the flash of lightning my eyes.
I have no ears; I make sensibility my ears.
I have no limbs; I make promptness my limbs.
I have no strategy; I make “unshadowed by thought” my strategy
I have no designs; I make “seizing opportunity by the forelock” my design.
I have no miracles; I make right action my miracle.
I have no principles; I make adaptability to all circumstances my principles.
I have no tactics; I make emptiness and fullness my tactics.
I have no talents; I make ready wit my talent.
I have no friends; I make my mind my friend.
I have no enemy; I make carelessness my enemy.
I have no armor; I make benevolence and righteousness my armor.
I have no castle; I make immovable mind my castle.
I have no sword; I make absence of self my sword.
____________________________________________________________ ____________Of all the stories I’ve read about life, love, joy, sorrow, pain, success, failure… my life story will forever be my favorite. I mean, how many 23-year-olds have been given the privilege to support their own family, raise their own parents (plus her dogs and an adopted kid), take a high-profile job, be a teacher for preschools and be loved by them, and be the most uptight yet loving partner with all the men they’ve been with (not to mention, be loved back hundred times more)?
I can’t possibly count how many times I tasted pain and failure, but looking back, I am starting to feel proud having to survive the worst turbulences in life. There are moments of thinking about “what-if’s” and yet, I get to realize that all things happen for a reason, taking a straight path to self-discovery. Looking at myself right now, I see a better person, who I am starting to really admire and love.
I probably consider myself the closest Natural Creation to a Love Machine, designed specifically to give love in every way possible to anyone near. Wow. And yes, mechanical is boring!
Then after 23 years, 3 months, 4 days, 9 hours, 22 minutes and 15 seconds (the exact time at the moment of writing) I’ve finally decided to take a different life course and try to see something great about The World and its Inhabitants.
All my life, I’ve always been scared to quit my job, end my relationships with my ex’s, face my family, apply for the best companies – cause I HATE leaving stability behind. I feel that my job, my ex’s, my family provide me with a lot of security but little did I know that I’m fast losing my sense of self and the more I want stability, the more I glue myself to doom and depression.
At this day, I’m decided to give up my wanting to achieve everything stable and permanent and try to gamble a bit and take this one shot of redefining my life’s purpose and goals.
Hopefully, by the next update, there’s a new discovery to share.
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