Hey, Goldilocks! profile picture

Hey, Goldilocks!

That's what the homeless guys always yell.

About Me



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~*~ The organization I'm working for shoved me into political activism. Now I am embittered and will never ever ever participate in this idiocy again. EVER. You treat us like crap, Progressive Future, and I truly hate you.~*~ When I was little, my mother told me I could be anything I wanted to be--as parents are apt to do. After giving the matter some thought, I replied, "No, what if I wanted to be a shopping cart?"Thankfully, I opted for Marine Biologist once I hit preschool.One day I shall be the next Jacques Cousteau. Or the person dressed up in the giant Shamu costume at Sea World. (Hopefully not the latter.) I've made it my Unofficial Goal to participate in one of the Antarctic research cruises sometime within the next 5 years. *AWESOME*

My Interests

Autumn, Bailey's, Halloween, paisley, Carmex, SCUBA, marine biology, exploring, oil pastels, cheese, sushi, M&M cookies, vintage clothing, coats, irony, cooking, all things glow-in-the-dark, unfamiliar cultures, pirates, cheetahs, Boston, Red Sox, cats, hockey, Peeps (the sugary edible kind), IFC, The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, The Colbert Report, Freaks and Geeks, that hot chili sauce with the green cap and the chicken on the bottle, candles, tea, Red Wings, books, Dostoyevsky, travel, oceans, SuperFunAdventureDays, dreams, ghosts, clay, writing, music, musicians, castles, hard liquor... I support Darwin's Theory of Evolution. I also leave burning candles unattended.

I'd like to meet:

A narwhale. The Missing Link. Cleopatra. Saladin. Ben Franklin. Janis Joplin. The Dalai Lama. Sojourner Truth. Abigail Adams. Gollum. Captain Jack Sparrow. Someone who knows how to train Attack Doves. Whomever put that dent in my car (we need to have a talk). The sadly misinformed guy who tried to mug me in the Fens so I can beat you up again and feel very empowered and slightly invincible. The word that rhymes with "Orange."

Music:

"I like everything!" (excluding country and manufactured pop crap.) Prefer Indie and Oldies--be they of the rock n roll or oldschool punk variety. Bit of a film score buff--Hans Zimmer and James Horner make me happy. Kudos to Silvestri, Shore, and Gregson-Williams because I'm a dork like that. Velvet Underground, Ben Folds, Neutral Milk Hotel, The Temptations, Sex Pistols, the Ramones, Fifi, En Vogue, Rufus Wainwright, Rilo Kiley, Regina Spektor, Magnetic Fields, Crystal Castles, Beruit, The Shins, Death Cab, Flaming Lips, Of Montreal, the Decemberists, Tegan & Sara, Bowie, Raffi, John Lee Hooker, Hendrix, Cat Power, The Streets, Vampire Weekend, 80's Madonna, Nico, Nous Non Plus, Flight of the Conchords, Flogging Molly, my amazingly talented friends, etc etc ... well who doesn't like music?

Movies:

A lot. The more swordfighting, the better. And Johnny Depp. City of the Lost Children. A Mighty Wind. I also really liked Layer Cake. Boondock Saints, Bambi, and Willow are classic.

Television:


Dating & Relationship Advice
MySpace Layouts

Books:

The Brothers Karamazov (brilliant!!!), Johnny Tremain, Redwall series by Brian Jacques, Harry Potter, Crime and Punishment, Oddly Enough, America: the Book, Dancing With Cats, Ivanhoe, The Talisman, When Bad Things Happen To Good People, My Sister's Keeper, colorfully illustrated placemats, Fall of the House of Usher, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, The Adventures of Frog and Toad, Sabriel, Pride and Prejudice, Piratology, Cat's Cradle, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Beatrix Potter's Peter Rabbit, Grandfather Twighlight, Sister Lou and the Soul Brothers, Let the Circle Be Unbroken, Heart of Darkness, Lord of the Flies... Mmm, books.

Heroes:

Steve Yzerman, Mamie Till-Mobley, Dr. Joseph Warren of Ye Old Revolutionary War era, J.K Rowling, and the creator of the Pet Rock (pure genius, that one).

My Blog

40 pills in 10 days, or: we can give you a shot in the...

*      *     * "Maybe you have Strep Throat," said Laura, listening to me make "I'm-going-to-die-because-my-throat-hurts" noises and claw at the offending ...
Posted by Hey, Goldilocks! on Tue, 22 Jan 2008 11:47:00 PST

The Truth About Chicago, or: Chicago, exposed!

*     *     * Having lived here approximately one week and 4 days, I now consider myself an expert on this strange place.  At least, the parts that make ab...
Posted by Hey, Goldilocks! on Fri, 24 Aug 2007 10:37:00 PST

An Open Letter to My Hacker

Dear Measly Worm,        In light of the fact I do not possess a glove with which to smartly slap across your face, this letter shall have to do.  I know it to be a poor ...
Posted by Hey, Goldilocks! on Fri, 01 Jun 2007 02:24:00 PST

The Frozen Manatee Head and Other Surprising (morbid) Freezer Discoveries

*     *     *     "I want you to go downstairs and sweep out the necropsy lab," my boss informed me, apparently forgetting I am not, in fact...
Posted by Hey, Goldilocks! on Wed, 04 Apr 2007 06:42:00 PST

Go Natural! granola bars and the Falmouth Peep Show

*     *     *My sincerest apologies about the second half of the cruise log.  I have no idea where I put it.Whilst shopping at Shaw's earlier this week, I ...
Posted by Hey, Goldilocks! on Thu, 11 Jan 2007 08:22:00 PST

Cruise Log I: Pre-Madness

    Disclaimer of Sorts:  I do not believe in physical "flaw."  I believe in physical trait or characteristic in other words, my freakishly bendable thumb and crooked nose ma...
Posted by Hey, Goldilocks! on Fri, 17 Nov 2006 11:42:00 PST

Cruise Log IV: In Which the Gods Remember We're Headed to Canada in November

In Which the Gods Remember We're Headed to Canada in November      We awoke this morning to grey: steely grey skies and iron-grey waves frothing white at the crest.  The sea i...
Posted by Hey, Goldilocks! on Fri, 17 Nov 2006 11:37:00 PST

Cruise Log V: The Ship That Can't Turn Left

We had an hour and a half between stations this morning.  Climbing out of my bright seizure-colored yellow fisherman overalls and steel toed boots, then up into my bunk seemed far too much work.&...
Posted by Hey, Goldilocks! on Fri, 17 Nov 2006 11:35:00 PST

Cruise Log VI: Oh the Games We Play

"The sea is angry," Colin muttered in his strangely lyrical accent.  And indeed she was.  My casual attempt at tossing an empty soymilk carton into the trash barrel resulted in a 180 degree ...
Posted by Hey, Goldilocks! on Fri, 17 Nov 2006 11:33:00 PST

Cruise Log VII: Ninjas Don't Cry

Few things are more beautiful than a full moon at sea; everything is velvet, silver, and ink.  The ship's light attracted fish, which in turn attracted 50 or so gulls.  They flew alongside o...
Posted by Hey, Goldilocks! on Fri, 17 Nov 2006 11:32:00 PST