the dude profile picture

the dude

Pubs, not clubs!

About Me


Cole /kol/
-Noun
1. a male given name.
2. a swashbuckler, born of utter necessity due to world climate changes. He has a sole commitment to entertainment, original humor, and feeding the children of the world with food (preferably his own). Moreover, it is a shared belief amongst all of the writers, actors, and vending machines within his mind that there is a hidden element within laughter which contains the key to literally unlock the universe and all of its majestic mysteries. In that sense, it would be fair for you to assume that Cole considers himself a geophysical-philo-socio-analystic scientist. But don't get bogged down in the uniquely complex interweavings of his process. Just sit back, enjoy the humor openly presented before you by our fearlessly vulnerable performer, and fill your soul with spirits of the top-shelf variety!
AND while you're at it, join his super-secret, mega-exclusive mailing list! Just email Cole's Fan Club , after an intense peer-review process lasting 7-12 weeks, you're definitely in!

My Interests



I'd like to meet:

Awesome People..
First Awesome Lesson: Be Awesome -To be awesome, one must become one with the awe. Hold hands with the coolness and put your hands in each others back pockets. Block out all lameness and let mellowness flow in and out like awesome leaves blowing in some sort of magical awesome breeze.
Second Awesome Lesson: Grow A Huge Stash -The Stash is power-The power is Stash. Groom and love your stash, feed it treats and talk to it softly at night. It will appreciate your kind words and in return, it will provide bursts of Awesomeness into your face. It will paralyze you at first, but they can fix that up in the Emergency Room.
Third Awesome Lesson: Make People Get You Burritos -Burritos are natures awesome energy booster. But being awesome yourself prohibits you from getting your own Awesome Burritos. That is nature's way, do not defy it. Find someone less awesome or even lame to get you your Burritos, tell them that you will buy them a Burrito of their own someday...But not today. Today you only have enough money for your own Burrito.

Music:

Nirvana first off! Tom Petty, Jack Johnson, Foo Fighters, Green Day, Tenacious D, Offspring, Ben Harper, Steve Miller Band, The Peppers, Weezer, Cake, Unwriteen Law, White Stripes, Jack White or Black (I don't discriminate.) I don't know, there's a huge list of groups. Oh, types of music? Anything that I can play, I don't really dig too much rap and r&b.Music Video: KNIGHTS OF CYDONIA (by Muse)

Music Video Code provided by Video Code Zone

Movies:

Big Fish, Fear and Loathing..., The Big Lebowski, Matrix, Oh Brother, where art thou?, Caddyshack, Pirates of the Caribbean, The Princess Bride, many more.

Television:

Who's Line? The Simpsons. Merry Melodies.

Books:

The Cronicles
Dating & Relationship Advice
MySpace Layouts

Heroes:

Batman & Kurt.

My Blog

Duece to Produce

First off, don't judge me people.  I know that you are going to smile some time while your reading this. It starts out all soft and sweet..like a love song.  then BAM!!!  it gets kinda ...
Posted by the dude on Sat, 16 Dec 2006 03:34:00 PST

Turkey Song (to the tune of 'ring of fire')

Food can be a burnin thing, when you say"just one more wing"I fell for you like a childOh..But I went wild! I ate too much and now my stomach is on fire,up to my chest and the flames went higher.Now i...
Posted by the dude on Thu, 23 Nov 2006 09:27:00 PST

the (official) beer song

When I drink I feel like a king,I stumble all over and don't feel a thing;My drinks are the best, and that is for sure,I love to drink until I hit the floor! I love beer and the way it tastes,I love w...
Posted by the dude on Fri, 19 Aug 2005 08:10:00 PST

Saturday Night

I got a dance from a stripper last saturday night, she was bumpin' & grindin', she even took me home that night. But when I got home, and examined my bone, Something wasn't right, & I knew what was...
Posted by the dude on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

My Girlfriend

A Work in progress.  feedback anyone?I'm Not queer, and I'm not gay,but rumors flythat I'm not straight.Cus, my girlfriend is stronger than me,and she stands up, when she pees.I'm Not queer, and ...
Posted by the dude on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Here again

And here I am again,Can't get myself off the bedAnd here I am again,wish you'd get out of my headYou're everything I wanteverything I needBut you are now gone,you've left me to bleedAnd here I am agai...
Posted by the dude on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Last Few Days

they all tell me, you can't change everything. Somethings are meant to be. I think I wanted something moreand maybe I rushed things. peace is what I've felt. The last few days, I've supprised myself. ...
Posted by the dude on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Verse Chorus Verse. haha

Here I sit, and think of you See your face & sing this tune. Get distracted when I'm watchin the tube but somethin always brings me back to you   Now I can see waht you mean to me and I'm so ...
Posted by the dude on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Beat Up Pick-Up

haha. wrote this one on the way to LA to pick up a car.It's a country song!  heheheOn the road since this morning to the impound lotwish it weren't so boring cus I wanna smoke some potOn a mision...
Posted by the dude on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

television of love

What's that sad look on your face?  so blank your empy stare. I know it seems unfair, but TV don't dispair. I'll be home by one, to watch baywatch reruns No I wont be gone for long, so TV just ho...
Posted by the dude on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST