beach,ocean and body of water related activities,reading stuff,hiking,biking,walking,climbing,dodging traffic, throwing, shooting,crashing,breaking,fixing,finding,buying,selling,usi
ng stuff. aesthetically pleasing things and stuff. bikes, water, olives, seafood, newspapers, books, dogs,otters, family, music and movies, good satirical impersonations, jackassedness, hot sauce, artichokes, blizzards, waves,steel drums, logic, history, the truth, understanding people's motives, making food that tastes really good, doing what i want.
I'd like to meet:
i want to meet girls who live in the city but aren't originally from the city, but who act like they own the city. like it is their private princess palace. especially girls like this in brooklyn. and tribeca and soho and noho and the village. and wherever sizzling hot happening "it" girls are located. please teach me. should i wax myself. when i ask if someone left...should i say did veronica "peace out" yet?
also girls from long island. you are the realest of the real. yous gals got class and style...please pay attention to me.
ORANGE GIRLS. wild uncontrolable hosebags, bottle service buttanas, networking nymphomaniacs
girls who own seven hundred dollar pocketbooks, have no education, love sex and the city, and have had three or four times as many sexual partners as 1984 New York Knick roster, your mom, unpolite girls who are super hot have annoying friends and tYpE lIkE 'dIs, people who say: "music is my life","i got to pop your comment cherry" and try to pretend they aren't addicted myspace whores.
people who throw dice, people who got attacked by sharks, Donnie "Baseball" Mattingly, Spud Webb, people who lie 75% of the time and convince themselves they're doing the world a favor, some of those hot chicks on the real world rules shows, the person who invented the McRib and the proceeding advertising campaign.
that evil lepracon from the movie, Air Bud, seeing eye dogs who ride the subway. that little alien/chimpmunk who goes "oh-oh-oh-ho RaceWay Park" on tv and the radio, the people that have stolen my bikes over the years so i can kill them. Old people that still do cool stuff, people who aren't afraid of alot of things, the people who have and continue to pass the buck and blame stuff on me in the workplace.
people who get the chinese symbol for Moo Sho Chicken and Hot Spicy Bean Curd tattooed on their arms and point to them when ordering lunch on Mondays and Wednesdays in the Tri-State area.
the hot chinese girls at the end of my block who ignore me and possibly curse me out when i say things like "looking good ladies" in passing. that kid from school and a couple of my baseball teams that claims that i am the originator of the Biff, dumb lazy people who spend alot of money to go some place and then do the same thing they do all the time everywhere else: nothing.
people who will badly sing the songs of the late 70's to mid 80's with me, or at least not walk away from and ignore me, when i'm in a public place outside of nyc; for example: you are with me in a beer distributor in a place somewhere near Port Jervis at 10:30 am and we stroll in after a drive from NYC, and it happens "Sweet Freedom" is playing in the store when you are looking at cans and I come over from bottles with the soulful fierocity of Michael McDonald. you could play it straight and ask my thoughts on numbers and brands, that's cool, then I would like to meet you. just don't get freaked out and embarassed and go all Hollywood cool on me man.
people who make it happen.
straight up...girls who have come out of long relationships that carry around more bags with them than paris hilton on a two week vacation. girls whose fathers' were assholes so they can project that and expect that behavior from me. because it's really about time i settle down and i have to learn how to treat women like the trash they feel like inside. i want to meet girls with fake body parts because i am not weirded out by giant plastic bags being stuffed under your skin...and somebody paying 12 g's for that to happen. that's so normal and natural. and i like nature. i would very much like to meet women with all fancy degrees and job titles but have no practical knowledge and who rely heavily on their parents or da girlz of thursday night's ladies night to tell them what to do or just tell them what they want to be told what to do. and for me i think that woman would wannbe be told something like this: "girl he no good. and he broke. you need a man to buy you things. like drinks. so let's do shots and be sluts."
i want to meet more girls from foreign lands who will entice me with sex and tell me i am amazing and visit me and make plans of marriage with me and then disappear.
Music:
I HEART CLOY LUXPIN. and i follow around people who are in bands. don't say groupie, say super fan who acts like a whore with the guitarist.
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Movies:
Royal Tenenbaums, Planet of the Apes, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Teen Wolf, The Warriors, Cable Guy, The Ice Storm, Groundhog Day, KingPin, Better Off Dead, Old School, Goodfellas, Super Troopers, Grosse Point Blank, Desperado, An American Werewolf in London,
Television:
Taxi, Land of the Lost, Lost. But most often I concentrate and focus all of my attention on all the celebrity shows because I completely understand that what other people do is the most important thing in life. I jock all celebrities. I mold my life around them. I stalk bands and pretend they are my friends because they are so special and important and I watch celebrity dance fest and practice the moves with them. reality shows where people's lives are ruined, boxing, iron chef, yes dear, i have all the cool channels now so i'll let you know if i see something cool. i may be a nerd and try to catch the season premiere of lost and the giants games.
Books:
Sailing alone around the world 1895-1898, Hunter S. Thompson, A Riot of Our Own: Night and Day with the Clash, Honky, Live From New York: An Uncensored History of Saturday Night Live, Cork Boat, Henry D. Thoreau: A Week on the Concord and Merrimack Rivers, Singing My Him Song, Laughing Screaming: Modern Hollywood Horror & Comedy, Way Out There in the Blue, Teacher Man, those are some of the last books i read...i'm a big journal, magazine and newspaper guy; they are more my speed and i read them everyday whether in print, .., or .. databased. i cover to cover read any daily newspaper i can get my hands on.
Heroes:
The guy who hosted that show "Cheaters" who got stabbed and my favorite poet Willis Duncan Carmichael. and legendary BodySurfer Tyler Stokes Jr...oh and the people who make dumplings like 6 for a dollar.
