J^2 - ProfilesArchive

About Me

I don't sleep enough, I read too much, and if you see a woman strutting down the street and making an idiot of herself lip-synching and dancing to music on her iPod, it's probably me. I overuse both five-syllable and four-letter words. I have a Southern accent when I'm drunk, tired, or irritated.

I am a former jade trader turned polite educator.:P I still miss the Indiana Jones action of stealing priceless artifacts from third world countries with trusty sidekicks. Not to mention my handy whip and the smelly spider monkey. Actually, I worked for a number of Torture 500 Companies, plus not to mention my brief half assed attempts at super stardom. These days I spend educating inner city teenagers in a high school environments which many viewers refer to as war zones. My final thought is at least in a war-- both sides carry guns.

My Interests

You walk into a trendy techno club in NYC, and 500 Victoria's Secret models are competing to see which one can shake her ass the most demurely. At first your eyes are drawn to their magazine-style hotness, but soon you become aware of a faint silver electric haze crackling over the dancefloor. Just under your field of vision, 5'3" of hydrogen bomb in a sea of 6" blondes, Jax bounces and spins in perfect time to the secret rythyms of life. Drawing a crowd of gazelles, she leaps through a series of death-defying Anime School Girl moves, stopping time briefly in mid-air to meet your eyes in sublime and private recognition. She powers through her death-defying gymnastics on a direct course for the serene space in the center of your heart, takes up residence there and refuses to pay rent. Somehow, you don't mind, and instead of wondering what happened to your sanity, self-control, manhood, and ability to say "fuck it", you become calm and happy knowing that she improves the value of the space. Instead of evicting her, you realize that she is the rarest gift, and plan to have her stuffed and mounted on the wall in your snazzy pad.

She doesn't demand anything, but she gets what she wants every time!

I'd like to meet:

hmmm, no tengo una idea?

PS I am not into being a band groupie. Sorry, I was a high school cheerleader I got enough of urging people on while wearing a short skirt. Plus I don't make any $ so I can't afford to really worship you.

Music:

Suba, U2, Massive Attack, Daft Punk, Bob Marley, John Lee Hooker, Charlie Christiansen, Calle 54, The Carter Family, Branford Marsalis Quartet, Amstel, Gipsy Kings, Squeez, Derrick May, Jazzy Nova, Naked Music, Charlie Parker, Yo Yo Mama, Rasa, Chris Cowie, Dirty Vegas, Kenny Larkin, Supa Dimitri, Junior Vasquez, Little Louie Vega, DJ Shadow, Orbital, Richie Hawton, A Tribe Called Quest,Weezer, Nightmares On Wax,Groove Armada, Doc Martin,

Movies:

Crouching Tiger---Hidden Dragon; Strickly Ballroom; Better off Dead; Clerks; What's Eating Gilbert Grape; Snatch; Royal Tennenbaums; Chicago; Lost in Translation; Napoleon Dynamite; Ocean 11; The Color Purple; Best in Show; Rushmore: Darwin

Television:

The Daily Show, The Office, The Family Guy, Project Runway, Judge Judy

Books:

100 Years of Solitude, The Color Purple, Kanagroo, 1984, The Power of Myth, Midnight in the Garden of Good & Evil, Like Water For Chocolate, On the Road, Frankenstein, Cien Sonetos de Amor, Sandman Comics, In Cold Blood, Love in the Time of Cholera, Me Talk Pretty One Day, Small Victories, Cien Sonetos De Amor, San Francisco Blues, The Odessy, Dante's Divine Comedy, Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell, School is Hell, The Best Christmas Pagent Ever, Animal Farm, Dune

Heroes:

Kids I work with. Amazing what they can accomplish!

My Blog

Do girls fart?

The Mythbusters set out to tackle the age-old question -- do the ladies really let it rip like the guys?Of course its not true!...
Posted by J^2 on Thu, 07 Dec 2006 12:28:00 PST

Jesus with a Hitachi Magic Wand?

Single? Under 30? You are in grave danger. Your government says so. The government is targeting unmarried adults up to age 29 as part of its abstinence-only programs, which include millions of...
Posted by J^2 on Sat, 02 Dec 2006 12:38:00 PST

Check Out Lines

Checkout Line Etiquette Sometimes I shake at the supermarket checkout line. As my turn gets closer and closer, the anxiety sets in, especially when i get the lady with the pentagram on her chest and ...
Posted by J^2 on Thu, 30 Nov 2006 07:51:00 PST

Ten Things Tuesdays

It's time for Ten Things Tuesdays! Here are some things everyone else probably realized when they were 17 or so, when I was off nursing a six-pack in a cornfield somewhere. Oh well. It took me awhile,...
Posted by J^2 on Wed, 15 Nov 2006 08:06:00 PST

Jury Duty Part ONE

Okay San Francisco I've been a good citizen. I pay my taxes. I vote in most elections, yes even the primaries. All my parking violations? Bankable. To top it off, my brother is a man in uniform....
Posted by J^2 on Wed, 08 Nov 2006 06:37:00 PST

Congrats to Bobby and Christina.

Wow. I knew you two cats liked action but I think you guys outdid yourself with this. Congrats to you both. I wish you a safe return to the states. ...
Posted by J^2 on Sun, 05 Nov 2006 01:36:00 PST

Halloween pics.

So this year in response to the slut costume explosion, I went as a dead person. I tell you there is nothing sexier. Side ShotAnother Head ShotRe-Living the model daysFull BodyI am bored stiffIn the s...
Posted by J^2 on Thu, 02 Nov 2006 05:34:00 PST

Eat like a Ninja in NYC

Do You Like Ninjas? *OF COURSE* you do. Now, in New York City, you can dine like a ninja. Sweet....
Posted by J^2 on Fri, 27 Oct 2006 09:20:00 PST

Indelibe Moments

Leaving your body behind you and entering into the fullness and thickness of the world. Leaving the element of drudgery--the exhaustion, the boredom, the mind-numbing samness of it all. Then out of no...
Posted by J^2 on Mon, 23 Oct 2006 10:04:00 PST

Cool Flash Zines

I am very amused with these little flash zens. I really like the one called Play Mag because it is a music zine where you can hear the reviewers selections. ...
Posted by J^2 on Sun, 22 Oct 2006 03:49:00 PST