David Neale: If looks could kill, he saved lives

About Me

I breathe in oxygen, but my body converts it into Carbon Dioxide, and that is actually the stuff I breathe out. I eat things on a regular basis, because I think it gives me energy. But really, after I eat a lot, I just feel sluggish. I can't have any limbs removed without incredible blood loss, and once a day I have to lay down and force myself unconscious, sometimes for hours on end. I have recently stopped growing, yet my hair will grow continuously until I make some sort of modification or it ceases to grow and falls out.Oh, and of course.I have a third eye growing out of the back of my left shoulder that can see the future.

My Interests

Improv, Comedy, Lovin', Food. I dabble in other things. But notice I said nothing about being good at what I dabble in. I'm just good at dabbling.

I'd like to meet:

-A bear eating raisins one at a time out of a box. Just staring off into the sunset eating raisins.--God, Allah, Jehovah, Ifrit, Shiva, Ganesh, Jesus, and Zenu all at the same cocktail party. I would guess awkward. Especially if they were all wearing the same dress!--Oprah, when she is sloppy drunk.-

Music:

Love it all. Mostly. The only thing I am not a huge fan of is any rap song with less than 4 notes in the beat, most pop singers and pop country. Tim McGraw and Toby Keith especially, mostly because I can't remember which on is which.

Movies:

are now just based off of old T.V. shows and comic books.

Television:

Crap. I loooooove crap. But not intentional crap, like Rock of Love. I like public access T.V.

Books:

Catch 22, The World According to Garp, Cat's Cradle, Of Mice and Men, Choke, To Kill a Mockingbird, "I Love You Beth Cooper" (recently read), and Better Home and Garden's: Too Hot For Print '07

Heroes:

Anyone who loves unconditionally; is wealthy only in generosity; peacefully stands true to their beliefs; hates only injustice; serves men with no bravado, and no desire for fanfare. So not me.

My Blog

Brain Make Stupid! Funny this time, I promise.

Two amputees 69'ing? That's an 11 my friend.Ew.The Red Ranger was Native American, the Yellow Ranger was Asian, the Black Ranger was Black, the Pink Ranger was rosy cheeked. The Blue Ranger you ask? H...
Posted by David Neale: If looks could kill, he saved lives on Fri, 23 May 2008 02:45:00 PST

So here I am again.

I have been on this road before, this is all too familiar.First step taken, it's a little muddy, I can feel the dichotomy.The inviting give to my steps clashes with the uneasy pain-tickle of the rocks...
Posted by David Neale: If looks could kill, he saved lives on Tue, 20 May 2008 04:48:00 PST

Double U, A, Arrrr.

Max K.Journal Entry, February 3rd, **45 A.D. We are pissed!We are a group of people and we are pissed!We are a group of people and we are pissed at another group of people!Why?! What the hell do you m...
Posted by David Neale: If looks could kill, he saved lives on Sat, 11 Aug 2007 06:52:00 PST

My Kublai Kahn. I saw it in a dream and wrote it.. (Warning: Bad Language and Retarded)

I wanted to talk to you about how you plan on increasing the size of your wang.Do you know all the girls talk about the weiner, like, all the time? It's true, they compare it to vegetables, hot dogs, ...
Posted by David Neale: If looks could kill, he saved lives on Sun, 15 Jul 2007 03:11:00 PST

2000 views. And nothing has changed. WOO!!

Well, I have reached my goal. Twice as many views as Methuselah lived years. I would announce my retirement from Myspace now BUT I have a ton of chain letters I need to catch up on.Just this morning I...
Posted by David Neale: If looks could kill, he saved lives on Wed, 02 May 2007 01:13:00 PST

Sadness. But I don't refuse to not have no fun.

Sad. It really is. My dreams crushed. My life ruined. My love for this country, this world, this very existence, all worthless tripe piled in front of me like a fetid pile of animal waste. My eyes tea...
Posted by David Neale: If looks could kill, he saved lives on Thu, 29 Mar 2007 12:27:00 PST

Where the phallic things are.

And that is exactly what I am going to do. One or two days during March 23-25 I am going to run amongst fields of weaves, enjoy majestic silicone mountain peaks, and late at night, when we have all tu...
Posted by David Neale: If looks could kill, he saved lives on Thu, 08 Mar 2007 10:49:00 PST

Sick, Can't Sleep, Mind Wandering, Can't Use Pronouns.

Well blog it's been a while, I have been neglecting you for so long and it took a debilitating illness to bring me back to you. So here I am. Things dripping out my face, my eyes drooping shut from sl...
Posted by David Neale: If looks could kill, he saved lives on Wed, 01 Nov 2006 04:27:00 PST

I love this story. You will too. Guaranteed. Rated-R

Pandas "Snap into a Slim Jim! Oooooo YEaaaaahh!" Oh Macho Man Randy Savage. You are absolutely right, you tassel-y bastard. My...
Posted by David Neale: If looks could kill, he saved lives on Mon, 10 Apr 2006 12:50:00 PST

A list that will make many things clear.

A lot of things make us angry. By "us" I mean the entire human race. So I figured I would put down things that never fail to make me and what I imagine, everyone else, enraged. I think it help for us ...
Posted by David Neale: If looks could kill, he saved lives on Tue, 04 Apr 2006 12:44:00 PST