MetalheadMel

Anyway so this is where they want me to put the crap you really dont wanna know.....
And if I told you, you would run and scream in terror....
And if you dont I'll freak out and chase you with a rusty rake chanting "peanut butter crunch"......
I look nice, but you would truly have to like me, then get to know me, and get over what sort of person I am to really be around me for an extended period of time-- there really isn't much you would like to know, I also cant squeeze it all into a page that people would read, but, here goes, I can tell you: Im conceited, but not to an annoying point, the kind thats fun to be around because I laugh at everything and everyone. I also laugh at myself, not just because I am funny, but because I am funny looking at times, as well; I am a walking contradiction; Im not much on women's "rights", or civil ones either, women shouldn't drive and segregation is fun (what? it keeps cultures safe, it works for the indians); I am a genius; I like ham sandwiches with lots of mustard; Im indestructible; I like being the center of attention, but I will break down if I feel I am by myself in a crowd and everyone is looking at me; Im a sucker for things that are "available only through this special TV offer"; little noises irk me badly; the sound of bags crinkling or foam rubbing sends me into a blind rage; please note: when with me, any one syllable word combo can be turned into the original Batman theme song at any time; my cats talk to me and I talk back, I have video proof; I dont curse when I am upset, rather instead, I use the more cleaned up versions; I find the show "jackass" atrocious; when I drink anything I pour into my mouth and then store it in my cheeks for a second, like a chipmunk, then I let it run down my throat slowly, you should try it its fun; I only trust myself; Im a firebug; I mean that last one; Pinball is one of my all-time favorite pastimes; I am obsessed with all things antiquated; most birds strike some sort of fear into me because they have likely attacked me at some point in my life; I don't think Samuel L. Jackson makes a good Jedi; I like my graham crackers stale, they are far softer that way, its odd; I like to touch any and all cactus, I cant seem to resist it; Vegetarians are silly; silly and wrong; I often sing the "Neverending story" theme song out of no where; Im a classic, and all my parts are original; String cheese is he food of the gods; I like transvestite/sexual males very much, they are so cool with all those pounds of makeup; sometimes I'm allergic to foods with lots of vitamin C, only sometimes; Im a devout pagan; LEGOs are the greatest things on the planet; I hate gold; Pork skins and a horror flick are the greatest way to end a day; I chew whenever I drink soda, I dont know why; but, I dont like soda anyway; I love snakes; American english sickens me; I hate oxymorons, even accidental ones like American/English; I am constantly singing the original ninja turtles cartoon song; I hate when people tell me about Satan and refer to him as Lucifer; I dont read the newspaper because I dont like the way it smells; I like soup; I will spend my last dime I have if it means I will have a good fuckin time; I don't enjoy americas governmental ideals; I like the word "bollocks", it means bullshit in Britain, and its funny; Plum wine is a crazy sensual beverage; I love frosted flakes, they're grrreat! I could live off of them for the rest of my life and die happy; I don't understand why white lesbians (outside of porn) have to both look like boys; I don't understand why any lesbians want to look like boys, that defeats the purpose of being with a girl; boxing is the greatest sport; pomegranates are the most pointless thing in the world; I hate when semen smells like bleach; I enjoy rain immensely; I love two-sided band t-shirts; I dont understand how the US gov owes money to ourselves-- where does this deficit come from anyway?; Jesus was a powerful natural wizard, sorry folks; I love apples; boobs are the key to anything you need in life; I believe that in the next 1000 years everyone will look like me; alchemy is not witchcraft, its science; double paned windows hurt my ears; anything with cheese on it is great; I love all sorts of pork (get your mind out of the gutter); I like to go hiking; I hate soft squishy movies, they make me vomit; I have the heat on all year, even in the summer; I ponder about the difference between men and womens razors more often than I should; Im a x-files fan; I hate driving, it freaks me out; baseball is dumb; I collect silver rings and wear far too many of them; dinosaurs should have inherited the earth instead of monkeys, then we would have to start out our days by laying in the sun before we can warm up and move around; I will argue about anything because I am always right; pepsi is better than coke; the cold makes me sleepy; I enjoy when candies come in old fashioned tins, thats so cool; I much prefer the word wastebasket to the word trashcan; I still play with barbie; black is my favorite color, although, it isnt really a "color", it more like a "devoid of color"; Karaoke makes me smile; Irish accents are neat; I like to eat with my hands, but I know every formal action to be taken at a dinner table; goats are frightening because of their crazy rectangular eyes they have; french people do not smell; the fact that only scary movies and dramatic shows keep popping up should tell us something about the way of the world; I like animals far more than people; I am awe-inspiring like the cars in commercials; I like the word extrapolate, it sounds so made up doesnt it?; I laugh when people accidentally say sexual things, I guess I just never grew out of my 6th grade habits; hitchcock was a genius (heh, hitch cock); I like the beach, but not when its dirty.... so, I guess I don't like the beach then, do I?; penis.... hee hee hee; I read, alot... I mean that; I love to barbecue-- rain, sleet or snow, even on holidays (guess I beat out postmen then, don't I?); I want to go opal mining before I die; I use big words to make people feel dumb; the word scalawag is great isnt it?; I like to sing, and when I am not around my friends who smoke like its going out of style I can do it very well indeed; I wear corsets often; bologna should be banned, or at least corrected to be spelled the way its pronounced; I liked all my teachers in highschool, most of them were afraid of me though, but I did keep the rest of the class in line; the word "cockney" is the only sexual-sounding word that doesn't tickle me, but I don't know why; I want to know who voted for bush so I can light them on fire, don't you know he is part of the Illuminatis plan to cause WWIII and have us all under fascist rule?; I met my best friend by kickin' his ass one day after school some years ago, but I have lost him now because he is an idiot; I have a treasure box and it has the biggest cornflake I have ever seen in my life, and also a dead sea horse; I laugh every time I remember that vaginal strengthening exercise is called "kegels"; I hate to be corrected; tickling me is the only way to defeat me in battle; I collect stickers that say funny things; chocolate port is a great way to get drunk; I wish I could keep people in cages and feed them water out of a bottle like hamsters, but not because they are cute; I am going to be a millionaire... I have more to say, but I am sure you are not reading this by now, so I will shut up...