I'd like to meet:
Only a few things have remained constant for my entire life: I wanted lots of brothers and sisters. I wanted a father. I wanted a horse. I wanted to be a rock star--which I now understand as an adult means making music that makes a difference to someone, somewhere. I wanted to know my tribal ethnicity, whether my heart and the facts bore each other out. I wanted to run away to Los Angeles. And I wanted to flee once more to the country.
In time and birth order, I'd like to meet all my siblings: Suzanne (42), Noelle (40), Rowdy (34), Brianna (29), Mandy (27), Michael (26), James (21), Tyler (20), Emily and Erin (17), Julie (15)... and three younger brothers as well as my newborn niece Emily (Michael's daughter) and her mother, and the first son or daughter Mandy and her husband will also welcome to the family this year. I know my two eldest sisters also have husbands and chidren, and I'm certain I will continue to discover family members I never dreamed would be part of my life. It took Him a while, but God certainly granted my wish for a big family.
Sometime in late April or early May, I will meet the woman who carried me for nine months, who gave birth to me, and who, out of love for me and the hope I would have a better life than she could give me at the time, gave my mother the chance to raise the newborn she had fought for ten years for the chance to adopt. I will meet the woman who then spent the next twenty-seven years searching for that same baby, wishing for many of the same things I did. I will probably meet the father I never expected to know the identity of, much less have in my life.
As my birth mother raises horses (an irony common to both of my biological parents and my adoptive mother), I will be arriving during or just after foaling season. For however long my visit last, I will have the opportunity to ride horses all day, every day--and if I'm lucky Okiemom will let me try riding bareback for the first time. Finally, I will have the chance to do more than trail ride on a borrowed horse who neither knows nor cares about me. (Incidentally, for those of you local to Del Rio, I am desperately seeking a horse-sitting "job" in exchange for riding access. If you know anyone who will be leaving for the summer, PLEASE send them my way!)
My dreams of being a rock star have mostly fallen by the wayside, but through the years of pain and painful separation from my instruments, something new and more meaningful has been born. This time, I will not waste the tremendous talent I have been given. This time, I will do it right, whatever "it" is. I wait with high expectation of what it will be.
I now know and am incredibly proud to say, "I am Cherokee." Already, and with the blessing of my father and both of my mothers, I have begun the long process of finally making my heart's knowledge official. It will be a long journey from here to where I am going; it will be a great deal of work to learn the language, the histories, the legends I might otherwise have spent much longer absorbing; but this is a Trail of Joy I am beyond thankful to finally follow.
I spent ten years in Los Angeles. Some of those years are literally lost in the haze. Others were the most instructive of my life thus far. Certainly I met people and saw places that changed me forever. And I will return, revisit those stomping grounds. Live the big city life; do shots with the girls to a toast of "boys suck!" Plan on it. After all, one of my best friends is graduating from university in May--and how could I dare miss that?
But for now I watch young bucks frolic behind my house. I cheerfully dodge jackrabbits in my front yard. I live within walking distances of both the best Bass fishing lake in North and Central America and of the Mexican border. I spend as much time as possible frocklicking with my dogs and attempting to convince my cats the wide world outside the door is a scary place they will continue to avoid. And my family, the one I've long had and ignored--complete with five more dogs including the toy poodle that was once "mine" and is the namesake of Hayden's Promise--is less than a mile away.
My dreams are coming true. Everything I ever asked for is being given to me. Or rather, I am earning it. This is work, and it will be even more work for a very long time. But I will not back down and I will not stop being thankful for each item that changes columns on my master list.
Music:
I play the piano, guitar, electric bass, drums, dulcimer, any variation on the marimba, orchestral percussion, and love to sing so much that that love overcame a years' long fear of the judgment of others.
I also play a bit of saxophone, a bit of accordion, a bit of viola, a bit of many indigenous flutes, and, honestly, nearly anything I can lay my hands on and use to make a sound.
I maintain a currently quite outdated music profile page that contains, among many outdated concepts, some good, some bad, and some indifferent demo recordings.
In the near future, I hope to record some of the music I am working on now and include these updates here. It is my hope that my adventures in art (and they are not limited to music) will inspire, or, perhaps, retire you from your own artistic endeavors.
In the interim, I welcome my friends to send me graphics and links to their musical work that I can include here. The sections below carry similar entreaties, but I look at it this way: there is no dearth of opportunity and only an open hand can receive a gift. Let's stop competing with each other and instead learn that support gets us all closer to our dreams faster than we ever imagined.
Movies:
I do not watch movies often and have only slightly more interest in relating which I like, dislike, own, disown, etc. Instead I would like to feature blurbs or banners in this space of the movies (in whatever format) my friends and family are creating. Please share these projects with me by email so I can include them here.
Television:
I do not watch television. While J.T. was here, we had satellite TV installed but I have since become so disillusioned by it that the dish has been removed from the roof and is awaiting a ride to the scrap yard. Therefore, in the same vein as the "MOVIES" section above, I would like to feature blurbs or banners in this space about any television and television-related work my friends and family are part of. Please share your projects with me by email so I can include them here.
Books:
Books are a tremendous part of my life. Like the Internet, they are a never-ending resource of new ideas and knowledge and, quite frankly, I sort of get off on that. I predominantly enjoy non-fiction and classical literature as well as almost any magazine that crosses my path. (I am, in fact, the person everyone in my neighborhood brings their magazines to when they have "finished" with them. It may not be healthy, but it is certainly varied!) While I attempted to keep one for a while, a list of my "current reads" is far too varied to keep updated here.
To my friends: I know a few of you have written books that are or have been published. Like the sections above, I'd like to use this one to support your creative work. Please email me links to cover graphics, Amazon pages, etc. (Clint and Needle, this means you two!)
Heroes:
God is in the details, and the details are the work we must each do in order to find not only Him, but ourselves. If we are lucky, a few true friends and special angels will walk some or all of this path with us...
Among mine have been Adam Derek, Mr. Payton, Jeff D. Hail, Dallan Beck, Morgana Rose, Graceful Daisy, Pablo Schultz, Ed Swanson, Daniel Ahearn, and Walter.
