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Lady Pimpin'

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About Me


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This conversation is real. It took place over AOL Instant Messenger. Only the names have been changed to protect starcrftmaniac and PunkgirlAngl, I mean, the innocent.
Girl: Hi
Boy: hello
Boy: who is this?
Girl: just a someone?
Boy: A someone I know?
Girl: nope
Boy: Then why the hell are you bothering me?
Girl: well sorrrrrry
Girl: I just wanted to chat with you
Boy: why?
Girl: nevermind your an asshole
Boy: Hey wait a minute
Girl: yes?
Boy: look I'm sorry. I'm just a little paranoid
Girl: paranoid?
Boy: yes
Girl: f what?
Girl: me?
Boy: No. I'm in hiding.
Girl: LOL
Boy: Don't fucking laugh at me!
Boy: This shit is serious!
Girl: What are you hiding from?
Boy: The cops.
Girl: gimme a fucking break
Boy: I'm serious.
Girl: I don't get it
Boy: The cops are after me.
Girl: For what?
Boy: I'm wanted in three states
Girl: For???
Boy: It's kindof embarrasing.
Boy: I had sex with a turkey.
Boy: Hello?
Girl: You are fucking sick.
Boy: Send me your picture.
Girl: why?
Boy: so I know you aren't one of them.
Girl: One of what?
Boy: The cops.
Girl: I'm not a cop i told you
Boy: Then send me your picture
. Girl: hold on
Boy: Hurry up
. Boy: Are you there?
Boy: fuck you, cop!
Girl: Hey sorry
Girl: I had to do something for my mom.
Boy: I thought you were trying to find a picture to send to me.
Boy: When really you were notifying the authorities.
Boy: Weren't you!?
Girl: thats not it
Boy: Then what?
Girl: I don't want to send you the picture cause I'm not pretty
Boy: Most cops aren't
Girl: IM NOT A FUCKING COP YOU DICKHEAD!
Boy: Then send me the picture.
Girl: fine. What's your e-mail?
Boy: Just send it through here.
Girl: alright *PIC*
Girl: Did you get it?
Boy: Hold on. I'm looking
. Girl: That was me back in may
Girl: I've lost weight since then.
Boy: I hope so
Girl: what?!?
Girl: that hurt my feelings.
Boy: Did it?
Girl: Yes. I'm not that much smaller than that now.
Boy: Will it make you feel better if I send you my picture?
Girl: yes
Boy: Alright let me find it
. Girl: kks
Boy: Okay here it is. *PIC*
Girl: this isn't you.
Boy: I'll be damned if it ain't!
Girl: You don't look like that.
Boy: How the hell do you know?
Girl: cause your profile has another picture.
Boy: The profile pic is a fake.
Boy: I use it to hide from the cops.
Girl: You look like the Farm Fresh guy lol
Boy: Well, you look like you ATE the Farm Fresh guy....
Boy: Not to mention all the groceries.
Girl: Go fuck yourself
Boy: I was going to until I saw that picture
Boy: Now my dick won't get hard for a week.
Girl: I shouldn't have sent you that picture.
Girl: You've done nothing but slam me.
Girl: you hurt me.
Boy: And calling me the Farm Fresh guy doesn't hurt me?
Girl: I thought you were bullshitting me!
Boy: Why would I do that?
Girl: I can't believe that cops are after you
Boy: I can't believe Santa lets you sit on his lap.
. Girl: FUC YOU!!!
Boy: You'd break both of his legs.
Girl: You're a FUCKing asshole.
Girl: I've been teased my whole life because of my weight
Girl: and you make fun of me when you don't even know me
Boy: Ok. I'm sorry.
Girl: No you aren't
Boy: You're right. I'm not
. Boy: HAARRRRR!
Girl: I'm done with you
Boy: Aww. I'm sorry.
Girl: I'm putting you on ignore
Boy: Wait a sec
Boy: We got off on the wrong foot
. Boy: Wanna start over?
Girl: No
Boy: I'll eat your pussy
Girl: You'll what?
Boy: You heard me.
Boy: I said I'd eat your pussy.
Girl: I thought you said you couldn't get it hard after seeing my picture
Boy: Do I need a hard-on to eat your pussy?
Girl: I'd like to know that the man eating me out is excited yes
Boy: Well I'm not like most men.
Boy: I get excited in different ways.
Girl: Like what?
Boy: Do you really wanna know?
Girl: I don't know
Boy: You have to tell me yes or no.
Girl: I'm afraid to
Boy: Why?
Girl: cause
Boy: cause why?
Girl: well lets see
Girl: you say you have sex with turkeys. You call me fat. then you wanna eat me out
Girl: doesn't that seem strange to you?
Boy: Nope
Girl: well its strange to me
Boy: Fine. I won't do it if you don't want me to
Girl: I didn't say that
Boy: So is that a yes?
Girl: I guess so.
Boy: Ok. I need your help getting excited though. Boy: Are you willing?
Girl: What do you need me to do?
Boy: I need you talk like a pirate.
Girl: ???
Boy: When I start to go limp... you say "HARRRR!!!"
Boy: ok?
Boy: Hello?
Girl: You can't be serious
Boy: Oh yes I am!
Boy: It's my fantasy.
Girl: this is retarded
Boy: Do you want it or not?
Girl: Yes I want it.
Boy: Then you'll do it for me?
Girl: sure
Boy: Ok. Here we go.
Boy: I gently remove your panties and being to massage your thighs.
Boy: You get really juicy thinking about my tounge brushing up against them
Boy: I softly begin to tounge your wet pussy.
Boy: I run my tounge up and down your smooth slit.
Girl: mmmm yeah
Boy: uh oh ...going limp.
Girl: Har
Boy: You gotta do better than that!
Boy: Your picture was really bad.
Girl: HARRRRRRRRRRRR
Boy: Ahhhh. Much better. I feel your pussy get more moist with every stroke.
Boy: I softly suck on your clit bringing it in and out of my mouth.
Boy: Your juices run down my chin as your scent makes its way to my nose.
Boy: I begin to feel empowered by your femininity.
Girl: mmmmmm you are good
Boy: I feel your thighs tighten as I suck harder
Boy: going limp
Girl: HARRRRRRR
Boy: Mmmm I grab your swelling buttocks in my hands.
Boy: You begin to sway back and forth.
Boy: going limp
Girl: this is stupid
Boy: ...still limp
Boy: Do it!
Girl: HARRRRRRRRRRRRR
Boy: I turn you around to lick your asshole.
Boy: I pry apart that battleship you call your ass.
Boy: I see shit nuggets hanging from the hair around your asshole.
Girl: WTF?!?!?
Boy: They stink really bad.
Girl: OMG STOP!!!
Boy: I start to get fed up with your ugly ass
Boy: I tear off your wooden peg leg.
Boy: I ram it up your ass.
Girl: YOURE A FUCKING PYSCHO!!
Boy: Then I pour hot carmel over your head.
Boy: And turn you into a fucking candy apple...
Boy: I kick you in the face!
Girl: FUCK YOU ASSHOLE!!
Boy: The celluloid from your cheeks hits the side of the cabin...
Boy: Your parrot flys away.
Boy: ...going limp again.
Boy: Hello?
Boy: Say it!
Boy: HAARRRRRR!!!!!

My Interests

Writing is my passion! I love art as well. Drawing, painting, sculpture, candle making, etc... I love a good book. I don't have a favorite author really just as long as it's fiction. I love the more creative stories. Philosophy is one of my favorite subjects for discussion and school. I love music as well. I love all music...almost!
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I'd like to meet:


Music:

Rock N Roll, baby, YEAH!!! I love all kinds of music but rock is at the top of the very long list. So here it goes!!:
The Doors, Perfect Circle, Staind, drowning pool, slipknot, pink floyd, led zeplin, stevie wonder, bush, nickleback, live, offspring, the pixies, marylin manson, the ramones, reba, sublime, mike doughty, they might be giants, nirvana, the eels, my life with the thrill kill cult, enchantress, spiral rythms, rasputina, korn, disturbed, pink, eminem, 10 years, evenesence, fleetwood mac, stevie nicks, nick cave, lionel richie, madonna (old), trapt, incubus, audioslave, jim croche, eric clapton, rolling stones, kansas, ozzy, tool, sabbath, rob zombie, garbage, the cranberries, limp bizkit, linkin park, hmmmm have I left anyone out??

Movies:

Horror movies will always have my heart!! I enjoy comedies, and action movies as well. I can not tolerate chick flicks!! It is a very rare occasion that I will watch one of those! As for my list:
Bad Boys I & II, Boondock Saints, Rocky Horror Picture Show, Mists of Avalon, all A Nightmare on Elm St. movies (except 2 it blew!!), Grease, Monty Python (all of them), Dawn of the Dead, Howard the Duck, Troll, Puppet Master movies (just about anything by Full Moon Studios), Pirates of the Carribean, Resevoir Dogs, The Secretary, Candyman, 28 days later, All Jay & Silent Bob movies, Bruce Almighty, Dogma, Die Hard 2, Moulin Rouge, Willow, LOTR, Harry potter, Space Balls, Labyrinth, Silver Bullet, King Kong, Alien Vs. Predator, Matrix, Stigmata, Blade (Trinity especially), Kissing Jessica Stein, Swamp Thing, The Killer Klowns from Outerspace, The Godfather movies, The American Pie movies, Demon Knight, Bordello of Blood, all zombie movies, Hedwig and the Angry Inch, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.
Your Bumper Sticker Should Be
Anything worth taking seriously - is worth making fun of What Bumper Sticker Should Be On Your Car?

Television:

Not much on the television but I have a few: Charmed, Futurama, The Family Guy, Smallville, Buffy and Angel (Once upon a time), Tales from the Crypt,Weeds and soon I wanna start watching Lost.
Greatest Myspace Survey
About You...
Age 29
Birthplace Ft. Riley, Ks
Current Location Christiansburg, Va.
Hair Color Brown
Eye Color Green
Height 5..'5.."
Heritage Puerto Rican/ Scottish
Your fears not making it
Your weakness those blue eyes
Goal for today Laundry
Goal for this year Have savings, Fall in love, pay off at least 2 old bills
Lifetime goal Own a house, get married, see my kids become good men
When do you want to get married? As soon as I know it..'s right
and to whom? my perfect mate
Ever been in love? once
Currently in love? maybe
Do you think you are attractive? oh hell yes hunny.. I am very grrrrr
Your best physical feature my eyes and my ghetto-booty
Have you ever...
eaten Sushi... every frickin chance I get
gone skinny dipping... yup, but don..'t tell Jesus
been beaten up... only when I was too small to fight back
wanted to kill someone... oh hell yes .... don..'t tell Jesus that one either.. you don..'t think he has myspace do ya?
gone a week without MySpace... yes ;(
gone a week without TV... yeah
Who's the last person to...
kiss you... Tim
say hi to you... neighbor
talk to you... same neighbor
What's the last...
Time you cried? a few days ago
Book you've read? The Talisman
Store you've been in? Wal Mart
Can you...
Dance? oh hell yes
Speak a differenty language? ghettoeese
Cook? lke a mother fu$%$#
Write w/ both hands? if I have to
Whistle? yes
Finish the line...
If I had a... good paying job
I would pay all my bills
So I can live stress-free
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Survey By OnlyMySpace.com

Books:

The Great and Secret Show, all the Harry Potter books, The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy Series, The Wizard and Glass, ALice Through the Looking Glass Drawing Blood, The Story of O, Exit to Eden, The Talisman, Mists of Avalon, The Da Vinci Code, The Oddyssey, The Illiad, Lord of the Rings (including the Hobbit), Farenheit 451, and anything by Sandra Crawford. ,

Heroes:

Sandra --
[noun]:

A master of sexual gratification

'How will you be defined in the sexual dictionary?' at QuizUniverse.com

My Blog

Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy!!

Hey everyone! Long time no write. I have been quite busy,and haven't gotten to a computer in a while. Mostly just working, hanging with the kids and Tim, and sleeping. I got a promotion at work. YAY!!...
Posted by Lady Pimpin' on Sat, 01 Sep 2007 09:05:00 PST

FFFUUUUUUCCCKKK!!!

FFFUUUUUUCCCKKK!! Why is it no matter what I do shit just keeps sucking!?!?!? Why is it so hard to find one thing that you can hold on to, and know it is there to stay!?!? I know I can do this.. I kno...
Posted by Lady Pimpin' on Wed, 23 May 2007 08:16:00 PST

Repost of Letter to my Soulmate... Come find me!!

I was reading through my journals yesterday, preparing for a book I am about to write, and came across something I had written a while back. I had planned to never show it to anyone in the hopes that ...
Posted by Lady Pimpin' on Tue, 01 May 2007 09:07:00 PST

I'm Grateful for everything/One that I have!!

Considering all that is going on right now I'm doing well. I have been kinda stressed out lately because it seems everytime I come up with a plan to fix my problems something bigger is right arou...
Posted by Lady Pimpin' on Sat, 28 Apr 2007 10:47:00 PST

UUuugggghhhh

My back is KILLING ME! I just picked up and put together a bed for Connor. We had doctor's appt.s for the boys this morning. As soon as his med records get here we can get him back on is meds. Apparen...
Posted by Lady Pimpin' on Thu, 12 Apr 2007 04:39:00 PST

I GOT IT!!! YAY!!!!

I GOT MY SHIFT AT WORK!!!!! YAY!!!! 8-4:30 with Sunday and Monday off!!   EVERYONE CONGRATULATE ME!!!!
Posted by Lady Pimpin' on Fri, 13 Apr 2007 10:27:00 PST

Finally

Finally got the kids all in school!! YAY!! So I am chillin for a bit. I was suppose to go apply for a job today but found out they are doing interviews on Monday so I will wait. I'd rather be intervie...
Posted by Lady Pimpin' on Fri, 13 Apr 2007 10:16:00 PST

Easter and Bullshit!

Easter was a good day! We didn't do traditional Easter stuff wiht baskets and egg hunts or anything, but we did spend the day with Shondra and Steph. We cooked, and hung out. Had a great dinner. The ...
Posted by Lady Pimpin' on Mon, 09 Apr 2007 12:00:00 PST

WTF!?!?!?!

Over the last few weeks I have noticed that an unusually high number of people are reading my blogs. Yet no one comments. Stop being a pussy and say something. Who are these people?? Before ...
Posted by Lady Pimpin' on Mon, 09 Apr 2007 12:24:00 PST

My Family's Back Together Again

Well I made it to Georgia and back again!!! THANK GOD!! Went and got the kids yesterday. Drove almost  hours to Georgia and then 6 hours back. Everyone kept asking if I was looking forward ...
Posted by Lady Pimpin' on Sun, 08 Apr 2007 10:54:00 PST