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Opus

where do they keep the sandwiches?

About Me

i am a short, flightless waterfowl who enjoys herring guts and reading the funnies while wearing sun glasses. i don't like walrus'. my best friend is a dead cat named Bill. He ran unsuccessfully against President Reagan in '84 and '88, and continues to have an on-again off-again relationship with former Secretary of State Jean Patrick.

My Interests

Playing the tuba, dandelion stomping, imagining flight, interplanetary space flight upon the USS Interpoop, tall, slender tomatoes who don't mind short flightless waterfowl with bad breath and pimples. mr. rogers neighborhood, sesame street, swatting cockroaches

I'd like to meet:

Jimmy Carter, Betty Crocker, Wayne Newton

Music:

Englebert Humperdink, Wayne Newton, DeathTongue

Movies:

Ordinary People, Beaches, 10,

Television:

The Price Is Right, Mr. Rogers, late night infomercials featuring clever housewares

Books:

Dee Snider's Teenage Survival Guide

Heroes:

rosebud the bassalope, cutter john, sly stalone