Computer/internet stuff, art, hiking, frisbee, Beyond the Mind's Eye, Deep Forest, and yes I am learning how to play chess so that is a fun new hobby of mine
I'd like to meet:
In a Nutshell...
I have been searching for a Girl with a happy, positive personality, young at heart, pretty, 19-23-years old, BOYFRIEND-FREE lives in, or around, the Eugene or Springfield (both in the state of Oregon) areas, smoke-free, non-alcholoic and white, whom I can make into a Sweetheart/Soulmate from the ground-up, for the past enduringly greater than FOUR-LONG-YEARS
**You do not have to meet ALL the listed Characteristics; they ARE NOT REQUIREMENTS, and I am Flexable.
**And Please be sure to check my blog, "Spider-man 3 Thoughts & Feelings (A Guide to S-M3)" for the qualities that would Turn Me Off.**
I am Very Easy to find in public; I usually wear my XXXL P. Miller Jersey and green-and-white Cat-in-the-Hat hat.
I will treat you to a soda and a pleasant conversation. That is, if you will allow me the pleasure.
I would feel better when a woman who is interested in me is the one who does the "Date Asking." In short, I feel that I need a "Great Gatsby" situation.
Not all the twists and turns of my coolness worked in my favor, but I don't let it get me down. I will keep on waitin' hopin' and prayin' till I find my Sweetheart.
Now, don't get me wrong, I have a lot of people I'd like to meet, but I have very strict criteria for who that'd be. Mostly I'd like to meet women who like to get beaten up really, realllly bad during sex. Just kidding, completely...or am I???????
o no look it's the juvenile ha video:
i have this exact video on my computer it even has tupac at the beginning and everything. in fact *THIS IS AN UPDATE* the video above is actually the my video from my coomptuer that i re-uplaoded because they deleted the other one because of copyright issues those fags
nayway Im still very judgmental of it but in a good way
okay so now watch this video while you play the juvenile ha video
your liek woa fuck
yo now check out this funny shti me and my friends say online:
[MistaSmokalot] girl died 10 minutes ago
[MistaSmokalot] thats what her mom said
[Thuggxmafiatl] DAMN mane
[MistaSmokalot] fucked up shit
[spooky69] jeez
[Thuggxmafiatl] Im sorry to hear that
[spooky69] heartbreak hotel
[MistaSmokalot] real fucke dup shit doe
[MistaSmokalot] 10min ago
[Thuggxmafiatl] Yea it is
[MistaSmokalot] he like UHH WTF AM I grim reaper
this is a different convo:
[Braindead88] valentines day today... u know what dat means, da girls gonna be on my back all day
[surferdude69] hopefully she'll be on your front for at least a few minutes
lol, shit i've still got it
HEY
I'm better than everybody.
Here are some fune videos from YouTube, and these are not even the best ones that I know of but actually just some recent good ones. All of these have not many views, so I didn't just find them in some stupid way from somebody else except one of them.
Recent funny unsolicited conversation with a stranger:
(17:10) [merlynho] me like pussy
[spooky69] join the club
(18:12) [merlynho] were?
[spooky69] boston mass 02134
(18:13) [merlynho] by holy bible
(18:14) [merlynho] ???
[spooky69] well, some people would and some people wouldn't
[spooky69] i'm more of a dhl man, myself
(18:21) [merlynho] te you are a hair metal dude
(18:22) [merlynho] fuck bro you keep coming when i..m writing things
[spooky69] hair metal is my bread and butter these days
[spooky69] in terms of my income
(18:33) [merlynho] spooky what..s the meaning of your nick
(18:34) [merlynho] you didi a 69 with someone and it was the same sex as you?
(18:34) [merlynho] or the oposite sex?
[spooky69] opposite sex
(18:35) [merlynho] and you got spooked?
[spooky69] no, they did
[spooky69] because of the noises i was making
(18:35) [merlynho] LOL
(18:37) [merlynho] spook if you like soul check out ruby johnson and charlie whitehead
(18:37) [merlynho] found them today and they are fuckin great
[spooky69] will do
[spooky69] not a huge soul guy but i try anything
(18:43) [merlynho] don..t say that there might be guys on line that take advantage of your open mind!
(18:43) [merlynho] LOL
[spooky69] haha
[spooky69] i know!
This is the entirety of this conversation and the funny part is obviously not me since I am cracking some really laid-back cool guy jokes but obviously still not trying to hard to be funny or look cool so I would rate myself a good 7/10 on this one. My main dynamic is once I realized this guy was saying crazy shit I started replying back with unrelated terms and that's when I mentioned DHL, but after that he actually did ask me a direct question kind of so I brought it back down to earth. And then he starts hitting on me in the way that gay foreign guys who are semi-closeted but trying to test the waters do and I don't even know why he's doing that since it wasn't even relevant. Maybe he was just practicing making really awkward sexual advances for when him and his friends are really drunk and he wants to weird them out or possibly weird them out with blowjobs. Anyway, my best lines are probably the closing, and I'm glad he didn't respond after that because it puts a nice funny end on there. The funny thing is that somehow secretly when I get crazy messages from strangers on Soulseek I think that I always hope it is some really cool absurdist female chick who is maybe my soulmate and she sees my replies and it turns out that I pass her test of coolness and she wants to talk more and marry me although my real soulmate would not be testing me ever because all of our interaction would be very natural and open and so I guess she would just be a brilliant genius like me and somehow happened to stumble onto on the internet somehow and she was just playing around and I play back like this and it turns out we have everything in common and we are soulmates and like I said we get married. This hasn't happened yet I don't think but if my soulmate does somehow message me on soulseek I guess I would be very surprised but not nearly as surprised as someone who isn't constantly looking for their soulmate in every interaction with an attractive or intelligent female which is kind of how I am I think which is maybe not the best attitude since it's kind of like the attitude of a lonely loser or a weirdo or just pathetic or something but also my soulmate would not care about that because she would be perfectly suited for me! So she would be okay with my slightly romantic nature and not mistake it for weakness which seems to really be a pretty important thing, right? Of course, if it's my soulmate right she is going to be cool no matter what but I am also super aware of how there's a pretty solid dynamic with women needing some sort of pretty big stud as their soulmate kind of if you know what I mean, and this is also coming from a guy who is super aware of not being the guy who complains about being the nice guy and THAT whole thing which is a big mess since everybody has their opinions on it but the people who have the strongest opinions on it are loser pussy dipshits. So I guess I'm saying that I'm a little bit of a pussy but I think that I can counteract a woman's natural urge to cheat on pussy guys with the fact that I can just be myself naturally enough and not try to be a big jerk really. And when I say that I know I kind of sound like the guy who complains about "assholes getting all the girls" but I don't say "girls" I say "women" but that's not to manipulate you but just because I learned that and it's a smart thing to do. But really what I am saying is that in terms of the asshole/nice guy dynamic I think that most women really don't want an asshole but there's something about asshole guys that will attract a pretty broad range of women and it's something similar to confidence but maybe it's closer to the ease with which he speaks his mind. And I think I don't have a problem with that obviously and so ladies I'm just saying...here I am! Also my dick is not huge but it's definitely big enough and pretty aesthetically pleasing so you don't have to worry about if I have some weird dick thing when we are on our first couple of dates and haven't fucked yet. I am open to the number of dates before we fuck but it seems like it should be about four at least but probably less than 10 because at that point it's kind of like okay we've gone on 10 dates and we're not 14 and so this is getting kind of gimmicky. Anyway, if this sounds like your type of guy then even if you don't think we are soulmates please hit me up with a MySpace message and there's no reason I won't write back unless you are a guy because I have never been gay. Anyway, I am just chillin here so hit me up if you are looking for a guy like me and you are a good woman who doesn't need constant excitement to satisfy her female brain urges because that's not me and would you ask an armadillo to bark? This write-up is just an example an example of the many things I can say to you so hit me up and we can get more specific about my requirements for what you have to be. Hit me up.
Music:
Bruce Haack - Electric Lucifer Book 2, Sleng Teng/Computerised Dub, big Fats Domino (R.I.P) 8-disc collection, some other stuff but also, just as a sample: Fight Club OST, Green Day, Poodle Hat. I also like basically any forms of rap including gangsta rap but not most hip-gop because it's very retarded. A long time ago I used to like '80s music, but as my tastes have progressed I prefer '70s rock (any type)
Movies:
Eraserhead (male abortion sperm), UHF, UFC 83, Zeitgeist! (I also like loose Change 3rd Edition and Planesville Squibs Zionism Review by Martin Kelly) This is sarcasm obviously but I really do like old black & white movies, especially the really boring ones. I also like any old movie that is considered a classic but has jumpy editing and lots of unintended awkward moments and a plot that doesn't develop in a natural way.
I have seen a large number of movies including some pretty obscure ones so throw out some names of stuff you like and maybe I will impress you by having seen them and being able to discuss my opinions about them in a laid-back manner that makes me look informed and yet cool. Honestly, though, I don't know, for all of the movies I have seen, I don't know if there's ever been a single one that's really completely resonated with me. That's probably because in a lot of ways it's a pretty contrived form of passing along information, I don't know. I would say the ideal type of human character-driven movie for me might be one with a little stylized, semi-fictional world like the Wes Anderson movies except with out all the really awkward soundtracks where it's like Wes Anderson has made me a faggy little mixtape to awkwardly listen to with him in the room the whole time. But stuff with fictional animals and stuff like Life Aquatic, I mean, c'mon, that stuff is just cool, so if you could take some of that stuff and make it a little less gay then you might have a good movie. Althouuuugh, in general, movies like that are kind of encouraging people to be always caught up in people shit and maybe even increase their desired level of caught-uppedness because the movies are saying "interesting interesting oh yes yes people doing stuff is so interesting you need to have more dramas and notable interactions in your life because you're a person and it's okay to just completely be a big interesting faggot because life is like your own little movie and why aren't you more like Owen Wilson and his stupid shit?" I don't mean to overemphasize the whole audience interaction part of that but it does seem like there are not many movies that I am watching on my computer that are telling me not to be caught up in stupid people shit, and the ones that are are probably really artsy and/or fucking lame or just like "wow, being alive is so wonderful and magic! stop being so dramatic and embrace these cool pictures as the real meaning of your existence because cool stuff looking cool is nature and life and whoooa it's time for more macro photography and then shots of poor people harvesting rice and there are similarities between the two and as you can see I am showing you these contrast and similarities and blowing your mind with my camera lenses and also check out this crazy world music I am playing for you! this movie is clearly changing your life because is it art and everything is art and therefore are is life and you owe me 5 bucks." Basically I am so over all the jerks and that's why I'm the best, and if I ever made my own movie it would be a combination of the best ideals of really lame shit like the stuff I am talking about also combined with unheard-of levels of abstraction and also it would be really funny and maybe have people throwing up in funny ways. I don't know, if this sounds like a good idea to you then you're right.
Television:
The 1/2 Hour News Hour, Laughfest, Drink-Off Booze Co., Levar Burton's Realroad, Switched-on Bach Babies. Obviously these are all fake TV Shows but in terms of real TV shows I don't watch 'em much because I don't have a TV really (although I do have a TV tuner card in my computer so that I can watch TV when I want to although that's pretty much always news but I don't get MSNBC which kind of blows). I download some TV shows including some anime shows and TV Funhouse even though I have seen those all before they are still funny especially the ones with the fish that they throw water on or various sketches including the Picasso one and a lot of others. I am trying to think of some cooler stuff that I have downloaded lately because I do watch a fair amount of downloaded TV I guess...nothing is really coming to mind so just throw out some names of stuff that you like and I will tell you if I have seen it or if I like it. I think I am generally less critical of TV than movies so you don't need to worry about me getting really fancy about my opinions of a TV show but also if you are watching lame shit on the WB or CW I guess then I am probably going to think you are a lame ass. Also we've all seen the office and it's pretty funny but also I am not impressed by you liking it a bunch. I am basically probably not going to be impressed by your TV show favorites no matter what unless you have an extremely refined list of TV shows that you really like, because a lot of people when they like stuff they don't really like it that much and are just more tolerant of that stuff than the other stuff in the same realm, and this is especially true for TV since a lot of it really is pretty lame, huh? I don't know, I guess I admire people who have a real passion for stuff, but there's really not that much media worth getting super excited about and if you're really, really into something on TV that's not completely radical and wrenching then I'd speculate that you're probably some sort of mentally unbalanced fuck-up.
Books:
Visual Guide to Moulin Rouge, Fountainhead Disposed, Fight Club by Chuck Chuck Palahniuk. Okay, I honestly need to read more books and I got an e-book reader for Christmas '07 (a Sony PRS-505) and I have a bunch of books that I should back up soon in case of some horrible hard drive crash and I am also worried that the screen on my Reader will crack...but if neither of these things happen and I can just get myself to read some books (which I do enjoy) then I will probably be able to list off a bunch of fancy shit that I read and liked. The book I read most recently on my Reader was one called "Thunderhead" which I saw recommended as a good spooky read or something and let me tell you about it. It's written by two guys and it's about some semi-supernatural thriller archaeological bullshit. It has really, really lame characters including a snarky-yet-lovable journalist who is clearly what one or both of the authors picture themselves as since he is a guy who wrote a book and is always making really lame jokes that are clearly meant to be semi-clever or at least endearing except they're not because it's a stupid thriller book based around archeology. The main character is a woman who never becomes interesting or sympathetic and the authors probably think they are smart and creative for being able to write from the perspective of something other than a male human book author. The book uses stupid vocab words that should only be used one per book and then uses each of them at least twice because the authors want us to know that they know words other than things you would hear in everyday conversation. When I first started reading the book I noticed the bad writing constantly and either it got better toward the end or I just became desensitized to crappy writing as I went along. I don't like the idea that the patterns of shitty writing were etching themselves into my brain, but that's probably what happened. Of course the book included women thinking sexual thoughts sexually, because no good modern fiction shit thriller is without a reserved woman who, much to her surprise, mysteriously finds her subconscious arousal bubbling up to the surface. It's all really stupid and I'd imagine that a woman's experience in reading a male thriller novel author's attitude toward female sexual desire is probably pretty analogous to what I hear when a woman relates her impressions of male masturbation. In other words, this book was the equivalent of these guys taking their COCKS and GRABBING them and RUBBING THEM UP AND DOWN and THINKING ABOUT PUSSIES AND FUCKING until they CUM because I'm a DIRTY GIRL AND YOU LIKE RUBBING YOUR BIG HUGE COCK WITH THOSE GRUBBY MEAT HOOKS YOU HERO
Heroes:
Barack Obama, Dax Shepard, my idealized vision of myself, Jen Schefft, Yungstar, Fats Domino, Fragmaster, all cool people ever
